Experimental, Irreplaceable
by Shinigami Hunter
Summary: Man-eating parasites, humans turned into weapons.. How far will science and technology advance before we are satisfied? The Black Order is putting an end to it in the most ironic way possible; by being part of this gruesome war. Sci-Fi/Horror AU, Yullen
1. Prologue

Oh, wow, I'm updating too much.

Well, I said I'd put up the first chapter after Chapter 6 of _It's Not All Black and White_ was published.. and it's, uh, half-published.. so this is like.. a half chapter..

It's really just a prologue. I hope you don't mind. D:

It's also Yullen. I hope you don't mind that either. D:

It's also one of the few times I'm going to try and write in full first person. I hope my wording doesn't make your eyes bleed. D:

It's also in Kanda's POV, because I can't write Allen for _shite_. I'll try, though. Sometime. Another time.

This fic probably won't be updated as often as _INABaW_. That's my main fic for the time being, even though I'm trying to think of a plot for FMA, too. XD Multi-taskiiinnnggg.

Some of the stuff in here probably doesn't seem possible. At least, not to us. I'm sure some of it's impossible, too, but we can ignore it, because it's Kanda. :D

**Warnings:** Suspense. That's all. K. K+ for gore, maybe. Not explicit... but the rating will go up as Kanda grows up. Potty mouth, I swear.

**Pairings:** Yullen! Lovely lovely Yullen.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't want to put this here... I don't want to admit that I don't own Yullen, DGM, Kanda's mom, Kanda's dad, the Akuma, the Earl, the... oh, fine, I don't own any of it. DGM belongs to KATSURA HOSHINO, that wonderful woman who seems to enjoy drawing half-naked Kanda. Oh well.

**

* * *

**

**Prologue**

**

* * *

**

_Some people called me a sociopath…_

_

* * *

_

At 3 years old, I was advanced for my age. I could walk and talk, unlike my peers, still crawling around on all fours or just barely being able to sit up. I knew when to speak up, when to add to a conversation, and when to stay quiet.

I could wield a sword, though awkwardly, since the handle was too big for my hands. Despite that, I excelled at _kendo_, _iaido_, and _kenjutsu_ in general. I could defeat those more than 5 times my age (which didn't amount to much, but it was a big thing to a 3 year old).

_

* * *

Some people called me a prodigy…_

_

* * *

Kaa-san_ was always proud of me. She would call me her child, hug me, and praise me after practice. She smiled whenever I won my matches, which was always.

I loved to see her smile. It was beautiful, and so was she.

_

* * *

Some people called me a cold-hearted bastard…_

* * *

I never smiled much, or expressed many emotions. Only for _kaa-san_. I smiled only for her and _tou-san_. They were the only ones who deserved my feelings, in my mind.

We weren't a very rich family, so being able to send me to a dojo was something very important to all three of us.

My father died two months after I turned 4, and _kaa-san_ presented me with a katana named _Mugen_.

I killed her that same night and burned her body with father's body.

_

* * *

Some people called me ' son'…_

* * *

"Yuu-kun."

I didn't want to look at the thing in front of me. It was dark and hideous, monstrous even.

"Yuu-kun.. I am an Akuma."

I couldn't believe it.

"Please, your father and I loved you very much. We were both Akuma, and it was inevitable that we would die soon. Yuu-kun…"

My mother, a lovely Japanese woman with long brown hair and soft chocolate eyes… An Akuma? A _monster_?

"Please kill me, Yuu. Let me join your father in the after world."

My mother was selfish. I told her that.

She almost killed me.

_

* * *

Some people hated me…_

* * *

I still remember the black dagger that she held and shoved into my chest. It burned and it hurt. I should have died then. But I didn't. I don't know why, and I still don't know why.

_Mugen_ was angry. As I lay bleeding on the wooden patio, _Mugen_ pulsed violently in my hands, reacting to the presence of an Akuma.

I don't really remember much of my childhood. I don't remember killing my mother. I don't remember what happened after that.

I do remember praying to God, to the Heaven's above, to guide my mother's soul safely to the afterlife.

_

* * *

_

_But there will always be one person who loves me._

* * *

As I left the temple, an old man whom I later found out to be named  
_Froi Tiedoll_ told me about the Akuma, how they weren't monsters but failed results of an experiment. An illegal experiment, one that went against the ways of science.

My mother and father had been cut open, dissected, experimented on.. and then cast aside.

I now live for my parents long gone, and for the Akuma in the world. I didn't like the idea of being used like a puppet, I still don't to this day, but if I could help the Akuma, those pitiful creatures, I would lay down my life to do it.

In my hand, _Mugen_, my "Innocence". In my heart, a curse by my mother that would last along as her treasured lotus blossomed.

With both of these, I will cleanse this world of Akuma, one continent at a time.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm gonna stop putting in these uber long notes, I swear. I will. I will. I...

Can't. Damn.

I know, Kanda seems a lot like Allen, especially in the last part.. hush. There's a reason for that, so just keep reading and wondering and asking "why is Kanda kinda like Allen?" because I won't answer. :D

Review. Flame. There's not much to flame though, so if you happen to be able to, I will bow down and-- Not do anything at all.

Kudos to those who want to contribute to the plot bunny that's still growing in yonder yard. -points to little fluffy plot bunny in the field, munching on brains and ideas-

Just, be careful. It bites.


	2. Experiment 1: Salvation From Damnation

Weelll.. this thing won't let me use dividers still.. so settle for some weird ones. . It doesn't take stars either... gah...

Chapter 1! Finally. There's not much happening, just a bit of background the Order, repeating why Leverrier's such a bastard, Human!Hevlaska, and I think I made Komui seem a bit like an ass...

Speaking of which, I pulled this entire chapter out from my ass with no thinking beforehand. Well, some thinking, but still. I sat here and I typed this up, just like that. e.e; Then got it beta'd and retyped. Thank you to **Yuna-the-Exorcist** for beta-ing

**Reviews!**

**Dr. Composed:** Can't figure out where it's going? . Is that a good thing? I hope it is. :D

**Mizu1411:** Yeah, I actually hadn't planned for the plot to go this way until recently, but oh well. Sci-Fi sounds like it'd fit for something like -Man. It's like, the exact opposite. XD Religious vs. Scientific.

**Lala-tan:** I took your advice and rewired the plot because it didn't look like it was going anywhere the way I had it at first. XD It's a bit better

Nusku, Suteki-Yamamoto, Winged Golden Tiger, Kyurengo, Eleannor, cally-666, MysticMaiden18, Aarien-sama, Keplo Leutokalma, Sephant, , Chronologic, Aishitenai, Lal Mirch; thank you all! And those of you who reviewed, thank you too!

**Warnings:** The Sci-Fi starts here. If you don't like gruesome stuffs, I suggest you press the little 'x' up there. It's not _that_ bad right now.. just some arm gnawing and stuffs... kukuku. . There's no cussing.. much.. Oh well, it'll be T, then.

**Disclaimer:** -Man and all the characters belong to Katsura Hoshino-sensei! This Sci-Fi plot thing belongs to me, measely though it be.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Salvation From Damnation**_

* * *

My first encounter with raw Innocence came when I was 8.

Seeing as I was a 'child', the Order allowed me much time to wander and roam about. There was nothing interesting about the black tower though, so I spent much of my time training.

The training halls were large and empty for the most part. I couldn't see why; how come no one bothered to train their skill to fight against Akuma? Sure, most of them were dispatched to get rid of weak ones, but sooner or later, someone big would come up. I knew better than to while away the time chatting or playing mind games on others.

There was usually one person there aside from myself. He was short and didn't have any Innocence, but be damned if he didn't put up a good fight anyway. His attacks were as quick as his mouth.

We didn't trade names or information; we traded blows. Every time we met in the training hall, we'd argue for 10 minutes straight about nothing at all until one of us was worked up enough to throw the first fist. It all went downhill from there.

Our fights were never serious; they usually ended with black eyes and bruises, a split lip maybe, but no bleeding, despite my attempts to skewer him with _Mugen_. He would toss out a taunt every time he evaded my blade and it would eventually cascade into a fist-fight that usually stopped when a Finder or another Exorcist found us rolling on the floor, spitting insults at each other.

Lately, he'd been showing up every day for the past two weeks, so I thought he would be there today.

He wasn't there.

Strangely enough, I was almost tempted to wait for him to show up just so I could berate him for being late but decided not to. It's not like I was expecting him or anything.

* * *

Later that night, a Chinese girl introducing herself as Linali Li decided to take me out for a nighttime adventure, or so she said. It was actually just trying to find out what happened in the tower at night, especially with the screams that sometimes woke us up in the middle of the night.

There were screams tonight, too.

"Mou, Lavi has to do his _bookman_ duties or whatever, so I thought it'd be more fun to have you along. He gets scared to easily, and you don't look much like one to get frightened, er…"

I hesitated to say anything, but I soon remembered the Head Scientist at the Order was also her elder brother with a sister complex.

"Kanda."

"..Kanda-kun, then. Okay, well, anyway, we're going to go down to the basement; that's where most of the screams come from, I think." Linali smiles and tugs at my hand. I've already protested against holding hands and whatnot, but she was adamant about it. "Look, light!"

I followed her down the stairs towards the faint light, feeling uneasy without _Mugen_ at my waist like it usually is. Another scream tore through the air and Linali clung to my arm with a soft shriek. I scoff and shake her off, though I myself was somewhat disturbed.

When we reached the bottom of the steps, two people were dragging someone into the huge double doors that led to the main basement. Someone that was kicking and screaming.

"No, no, no, let _go of me_, you bloody git, _let go_!"

I recognized that British accent. I didn't know his name, nor did he know mine, but I would know if that stupid beansprout was talking to me even over the clamor of a crowd at an auction.

"Shut up and come along. It's your turn."

"_NO, no, let me go, _I don't _want_ to! Stop, stop!"

I watched in horrific fascination as they forcefully tossed the boy into the room, looking over their shoulders before going in.

"Kanda.. do you know him..?"

Linali was staring at me with a strange look. I look back at the order and clench my teeth tightly.

".. Not personally, no."

"Oh.. well, you looked kind of.. angry.. when they pulled him in. I thought he might have been someone you knew.." She looked at the door as well, wringing her hands together in nervousness. With a deep breath, she grabbed my hand and starting pulling me towards the door. "Let's go see what they're doing."

"What? _No_. It's obviously bad; we don't need to see anything else." I said, appalled. If I were the one being forced into a room against my will, I wouldn't want anyone to see what would happen to me.

"Are you scared?" Linali pouts, frowning in a way that compels me to go with her.

The door was open, not so much that those inside would see us, but enough so that we could see inside. It helped that I was taller than Linali; we didn't have fight over who got to look in first.

It was a control room with various knobs and buttons littered about. There were at least a dozen people operating it, one such being that creepy lady with the weird bangs, Hevlaska. She stood beside a large cage that was emitting a strange light and making odd screeches.

The boy looked inside the cage and paled, his protests growing louder and more desperate.

"No, no, _no_! Stop, you didn't tell you were going to do this! I don't want to anymore! Please, let me go!" he begged, trying to pull away from the two men holding him. They ignored his cries.

"How is it, Hevlaska?" The man who spoke had long eyebrows and a Hitler-esque mustache. His glare reminded me of a cobra. "Is it fresh or..?"

"I'm afraid this one is rather aged, Leverrier," Hevlaska replied, gesturing to the cage. "Harvested a few months ago. We were about to throw it out, but it started acting up. It's been like this for the last two and a half weeks."

"And you're sure that this is the boy?"

"I'm quite sure. The Light Matter almost broke out of the cage when the last boy came into the room."

"Strange, isn't it? These things react to the mere presence of children and yet are eerily calm when being handled by adults."

"But it appears that they will only choose children, Leverrier. We can't make a parasitic Exorcist with adults; the Light Matter doesn't react to them. We can only make it into a weapon for the older ones."

"Ah, but Suman was an exception."

Here, Linali shivered and tightened her hold on my hand. I could kinda of understand her fear. Suman was a close friend of ours, though more Linali's than mine.

"Yes, I was astonished at how it happened… it seems that the parasite itself latched onto him without any prodding at all. A miracle, one might say." Hevlaska stated.

"There are no such things as miracles in the field of science, Hevlaska."

"I understand that, sir."

Leverrier smirks and approaches the cage, peering inside as though inspecting livestock that he intended to purchase. "Well, since it's old, we'll have to kill it and make it into a weapon, won't we?"

"Perhaps. We should try and see if it is still usable as it is, first."

Leverrier responded with a stiff nod. "Very well, then. Escort the child and the Light Matter into the experiment room."

Linali started whimpering and I covered her mouth with my hand, hissing. It wouldn't do us any good to be caught prowling around in the dead of night.

Their words had me thinking, though. They had to kill something.. Light Matter… to make what? And what exactly _was_ 'Light Matter' anyway?

I would soon find out as they ushered the brunette boy into a room. Hevlaska carried the cage inside with her and set it down at one side of the room. The boy immediately crossed to the far end, away from the cage and whatever was inside it.

The room wasn't big. There about enough space for three people to stand in comfortably and was connected to the control room by a single door.

Hevlaska unhinged the cage door and opened it. Linali gasped and whimpered again as a whitish larvae looking creature crawled out sporting four pairs of thick, bony legs. It screeched, blinking all eight eyes and fixed its sight on the terrified boy in the corner.

Then it lunged.

I immediately grabbed Linali by the waist and pulled her away, hearing a sickening crunch before I even reached the stairs, followed by an excruciating scream.

Linali was crying into my shoulder the whole way back, insisting that she stay in my room after what we'd just seen.

I couldn't agree more.

* * *

Two days later, I was heading to Komui's office to report in from my mission when I overheard Leverrier and Hevlaska talking to him.

"How did last night's tests turn out?"

"Utter failure, just like the day before," Leverrier ground out. I heard a tearing sound and decided that it was the reports from last night's experiments. "Useless child."

"Not exactly, Komui," Hevlaska intervenes. "The compatibility was fine from the beginning; a perfect match, one such that we've never seen before. However…"

"Too perfect," the Inspector scoffs. "The boy's synchronization rate was over 100 for the most part."

"For the most part?" Komui asks.

"Yes. According to the data on the first day.. synchronization went from zero to 80 within a three seconds, down to 32, back up to 99 and shot up to almost 125."

"Incredible… and.. what happened after..?"

There's a moment of silence. I almost lost the patience to stand there waiting.

"…Well—"

"That brat's synchro-rate plummeted down to -58, that's what!" Leverrier growled, infuriated.

"That's impossible!" Komui exclaimed. A crashing sounded indicated that he had probably knocked over the stack of waiting paperwork on his desk. "A synchro rate under zero has never been recorded!"

"It gets worse, Komui," Hevlaska said, strangely calm. It was like she was reciting a speech that had been prepared beforehand. "His synchronization with the Light Matter.. though we would have to call it Innocence now… is dangerously low at the moment. It has dropped from 25 to 3 in the last 10 hours and seems to be stabilized at around 5... Such a rate is too low to even be recorded."

"What happened at the below zero mark?" Komui asked after a moment's hesitation.

"The child's arm began to degrade. It was normal after the parasite replaced the limb, but it started to change color once it reached the 15 line."

"I see…" The Supervisor sighed wearily. "Is he usable yet..?"

"I'm afraid not. Suman is the only Parasitic-type Exorcist we've been able to make as of yet. All the others have failed.. and the recent one is too unstable to be sent out. His synchro-rate fluctuates every half hour or so, 80, 12, 100.. we can't quite tell what it will end up being."

"That's... unfortunate. Will he be usable in the future?"

Leverrier cleared his throat with a rather smug tone. "He will never be useful as anything other than bait, Komui. After the demonstration two days ago and the tests that have been conducted, nothing has changed. His synchro-rate refuses to stabilize and the Innocence has begun ceasing to respond."

"If we do not intervene," Hevlaska continued. "the Innocence will completely take over his body when we are least expecting it."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

The Inspector smirked. "You will remove the Innocence from the boy and send him back."

"But, Inspector, the boy has no home-!"

"Supervisor Komui Li," Leverrier started. There's a hint of authority in his tone that refuses to be disobeyed. "We are not here to ensure the safety of our Exorcists. We are here to win this race against the Millennium Earl that could decide the fate of the entire world."

At that point, Komui's voice was rising in oppressed anger, and it didn't take a genius to know what they were talking about.

"Remove the Innocence and lock it up. We took the boy in from the streets because he showed promise. He has not delivered, and so we will send him back from whence he came. I expect him to be gone when I return, Supervisor. Good day to you."

Footsteps neared the door and I stepped back, acting as though I'd just arrived. It worked.

Leverrier and Hevlaska did not suspect that I might have been eavesdropping on their whole conversation; that or they did not care if I knew.

I walked into the office, deposited the folder of papers I held onto Komui's desk and left, never intending to speak of this to anyone else.

Linali was the last person who needed to know this.

* * *

The next day, I heard from a passing Finder that the boy had supposedly died from the strain of the Innocence being detached from his body.

I was glad that my Innocence was a sword and not a part of my body.

* * *

Kanda's 8. He's selfish. So sue him. :D

I know you're all wondering "that boy, IS THAT WHO I THOUGHT IT WAS? and if so, WHY DID HE DIIIEEE?! DDDD:"

Please don't. :D I won't answer that question.

Can anyone point me to a book/movie/something with a setting simliar to my story? I might be able to get some info on sci-fi stuff... I'm not really into sci-fi all that much, but Sci-Fi!DGM sounds interesting, so I'm gonna put my all into it. Uh, aside from _It's Not All Black and White_. I'm putting my all into that too.

The next chapter will actually have some _thought_ put into it. :D

Sooooo.. Reviews, flames, and hairspray. In no particular order. Just... not the last two.

_(Revised: 5/3/10 - Added linebreaks in again, because FF decided to be a glutton and eat them all.)_


	3. Experiment 2: Deadly Rendezvous

I meant to publish this on Halloween night.. but I got sidetracked watching Code Geass: R2 and rewatching DGM. Lol.

Review Corner!

**FireNose:** Oh, the Linali-hate. XD Don't worry, she'll get her fair share of torture later on~

**xXJustAnotherFangirlXx:** [uses flames and hairspray on poor unsuspecting trick-or-treaters who ring doorbells even though there's a 'NO CANDY' sign up] LOL. I update them both on the same day, and then I don't update for a week. I'm so lame. XD;;

**whisperypath:** Weeeellll.. it could just be that the kid was short? Though I don't know why Kanda associates 'beansprout' with 'short'. Lol. And to answer your question, all I can say is that Allen is an _ally_ of the Order.

**Sephant:** Muahaha, I'm trying to make this as gruesome and torture-filled as possible. |D Have fun gripping your chair/bed for this one.

**KISproductions:** Unfortunately, I can only write Kanda, because he's such an ass that it's easy, yet also hard to keep him IC when I just want to make him go and snuggle and comfort his moyashi. :(

Kanda-torture and Allen-torture are the best. One because he sucks it up and deals with like a _man_ and the other because it's just so.. _fun_... to torture him! There shall be much pain and torture in store for them and others. I hope. I mean, I can't do too much... they're only human.. D: We can't kill them off before they even meet.

Thanks to Cr0we, FireNose, whisperypath, Yuna's Aeon, Cheyne, ranmyaku-neko, crimsonphoenix13, and everyone else who reviewed!

**Warnings:** PG-13. I know, shocking. There's only minor cussing, blood and gore, nothing too bad.

**Disclaimer:** MY PLOT BUNNY. It's growing, by the way. Coming along quite nicely. Thank you all for feeding it. :D

DGM belongs to Katsura Hoshino-sensei, unfortunately.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Deadly Rendezvous**_

* * *

I was trained to be the 'perfect soldier' by the age of 11.. or so they thought.

Killing without hesitation, making the best choice, taking the right chance, not knowing how to die; Leverrier enjoyed my accompanying him (it wasn't like I had any choice other than to do so) to the corporation meetings, acting so high and mighty as though I were being showcased as a trophy.

I had a sense of pride, not at the attention (god knows I _hated_ it), but rather at the fact that I was still alive after 7 years in the Order. Most Exorcists retired nearing the half-decade mark, unable to deal with the stress of being an Exorcist.

I didn't see what there was to stress out about. It was just killing Akuma and collecting Innocence. Nothing bad about the job.

It was what came with it that did them in. The Dark Matter.

They infested the streets and sewers, usually doing little harm other than devouring stray cats and dogs. They were harmless during the day, preferring the shade over direct sunlight. At night, though.. that was a different story.

With poor eyesight and a one-track mind, they couldn't distinguish animal from human.

If they found you, your best hope would be to sacrifice a hand.

During my nightly patrols, I've noticed two things; one, Dark Matter will _never_ hesitate to chew your arm or leg off (whichever is nearest) and two, they leave you alone after the first bite. That is, if there's only one of them.

Unfortunately, Dark Matter preferred to stay in groups.

If there's anything worthwhile that I've learned in the past three years, it's to never go out after sunset, especially without _Mugen_.

But I had to go out, for the sake of the Akuma also roaming at night, for my parents long dead.

I had to do it for myself.

* * *

"You're so lucky, Yuu."

"Stop calling me that, damned rabbit."

"But, Yuu~! You didn't have to see those freaky things before they died!" Lavi whined, draping himself over the cafeteria table with a sigh as I moved my soba away from him. Lavi had a habit of knocking food off the table. Especially _my_ food. "Nasty little buggers.. I think it tried to _bite_ me."

"Too bad it didn't."

"That's not very nice!"

I scoffed and continued eating, ignoring Lavi's continuous grumbling. The cafeteria was rather empty at that time of day. I was expecting more people, not for company, but as people that Lavi could bother instead. Alas, the only ones there, aside from us, were a couple of Finders, and they were usually 'not that fun to talk to' according to the rabbit.

"Kanda Yuu. Lavi."

I paused in my eating and looked up, ready to glare at whoever dared interrupt his quiet time. Next to me, Lavi responded with a blind nod, not even looking up at whoever it was.

"…You."

Lavi looked up, blinking lazily at the Inspector's assistant/lapdog, Howard Link.

"Yo, two-spot." He grinned, waving slightly. Link gave Lavi an indignant glare.

I never did like Link. I never liked Leverrier either. One didn't bother to take care of us; the other didn't care at all.

And they said they would save the world by destroying the Akuma. Feeding lies about being 'specially compatible' with Innocence to children to get them to join, promising money to adults in exchange for service...

I doubted that even half of the Order actually believed in, or even knew, what they were doing. They didn't know the truth. The Order, the higher ups, the never cared about the mental state of the Exorcists, so long as we could fight. They didn't care if we thought it was right or wrong. They don't tell us anything

We aren't told that we might be attacked by a creature that may not even be of this planet if we joined the Order. We aren't told that we would be be sent out to kill things that were once human like we are, humans had been experimented on, whose lives were _ruined_ because of the Millennium Earl.

No one would tell us that we were being sent out to be _murderers_, because no one wants to be a murderer.

"Please report to the main office for mission briefing."

I glanced down at my soba and considered finishing it first. However…

"Yay! Mission time, Yuu!" Lavi whooped and grabbed my arm, dragging me away from the table and my meal. I sighed irritably and yanked my arm away, following Lavi at my own pace.

But if someone asked me, I would tell them.

Because I have already accepted the fact that I am a murderer.

* * *

"A General's been reported missing? That's some bad stuff.."

"He's not _missing_. General Cross Marian just hasn't been contacting the Order for a while," I clarified, tapping a finger idly against _Mugen_. "The Order wants to make sure he's not doing anything suspicious, so we're picking up some of his documents."

"Okay, okay, geez! I was kidding!" Lavi laughed, kicking his feet up onto the seat in front of us. "So where are we going?"

"Poland."

"Aahh, good ol' Polish sausages.. Poland's not that bad a place, y'know."

"It is where we're going, rabbit." I muttered, flipping through the papers we had received from Komui.

"Ah? Where? The slums? A ghetto? Prison? Oh! Is it a concentration camp?" Lavi asked excitedly, too enthusiastic if you asked me. I gave him a short nod. " I love visiting those! There's so much information in those camps.. which one are we going to?"

"The worst. The earlier Millennium family used connections with Dr. Josef Mengele to get approval from Hitler for conducting illegal experiments on the captured Jews during the Holocaust."

"Oh, right.. Poor Jews."

"Che. Get some rest, usagi." I stuck the papers back into the folder and tossed them into my briefcase. Leaning _Mugen_ on my shoulder, I closed my eyes.

Hours later, we arrived in the city of Kraków near the concentration camp. We checked into a hotel and took another train to the camp itself.

It wasn't that long a ride, compared to what the Jews must have had to go through. Close to a hundred jammed into an oversized wooden crate for days at a time, a bucket in the corner, no food, no water, no light, no freedom…

Only Death awaited them when they arrived at the concentration camp.

* * *

The stench was horrible.

Almost a century had passed, yet the smell still lingered and it only got worse as we went in. Half burnt bodies lay here and there, some only half there as the other half had already turned to ashes. Charred, stitched up, and dead; we passed by mounds of such corpses, many of them children

It seemed that no one was able to get in and clean it up, what with the Akuma guarding nearly every entrance and doorway.

It was disgusting, having to add to the many dead already there.

Something warm and wet hit my cheek and I wiped at it. My hand came off with a dark red stain.

"Sorry, Yuu!" Lavi called out, shaking the Akuma's blood from his hammer. The dead body was leaning against a wall of the boiler room, head completely flattened. I could see bits of brains, pale and speckled with the remnants of Dark Matter, mixed in with the blood.

"Baka, their blood is poisonous!"

"Yeah, but.. it doesn't affect you as badly, so, no worries!"

"Che."

I cleaned off the Akuma blood on _Mugen_, making sure not to leave any on it or else the blood would dry up and accumulate, making it harder to clean off later.

After dispatching the remaining few Akuma, we descended the stairs and through the large double doors into an underground experiment room where the documents were supposed to be. There was a crude control room and an observation room, dirty glass panels, old papers and torn folders. Empty cages lay numerous, open and dark, places for things to hide.

It reminded me of the Order's basement, 3 years ago.

Lavi opened the door to the experiment room with enthusiasm, only to be hit with a stagnant, rotting air in a room filled with dead bodies. The rabbit took a step back, swallowing nervously, and I took a deep breath in spite of the smell.

"Leverrier's a bastard… forcing Komui to send kids to a place like Auschwitz." Lavi muttered, covering his mouth and nose.

I shrugged, nudging a dismembered aside and proceeded into the room, gripping _Mugen_ tightly and covering my house with my other hand. On a dried blood-stained table was a stack of fresh white papers blatantly labeled '_**Research Notes by Cross Marian**_'.

"Found them." I stated, turning the page to skin the contents. There were detailed drawings and explanations of Dark Matter and Akuma, cut open and dissected. "I guess he didn't feel like cleaning up after himself.

"Hey, Yuu?" Lavi muttered, pointing to a pitch black pile under the table. "Is that thing.. _moving_?"

I raised an eyebrow but crouched down to look anyway. I caught a glimpse of a writhing black mass before it latched onto my arm and bit down; I heard the bones of my forearm snapping.

"Yuu!"

"You little piece of _shit_--!" Gritting my teeth, I switched _Mugen_ to my free left hand and ran it through the Dark Matter's head.

Shrieking, the parasite bit down harder despite having just been skewered. Realizing that I couldn't kill it short of cutting off my arm, I cursed, pulled _Mugen_ out. The Dark Matter lashed out, clawing at my face, and I pinned to the ground with my bleeding arm.

"Baka usagi, hit it!"

"Huh?! But, Yuu--!"

"_DO IT_."

The small hammer grew to almost five times its size and crashed down on my arm, fracturing the rest of the bones in my hand as well. I heard the parasite give off a feeble screech before it quieted, and ee waited for a few more minutes before Lavi took the hammer off.

My arm was a mess. I could see bits of jagged bone from underneath my my skin; some even broke through and glistened with a sickly red and white against pale, bloody skin.

"Yuu, are you, uh.. okay?"

"_Of course_. I just got my arm crushed by some alien creature, stabbed by my own sword, and smashed to bits by a hammer," I hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm _perfectly fine_."

"Oh… okay," Lavi shrugs with a sheepish grin, looking somewhat paler than when we arrived. He gestured at my arm. "Er.. does it hurt?"

"..No," I blinked, watching as I moved my arm up to better see it against the dim light. "Must be the Dark Matter… it's numbing effects are stronger than Akuma blood."

"Okay, uh, Yuu? Could you, uh, do your studying of Dark Matter on your body, like, _elsewhere_?" Lavi asks nasally, pinching his nose shut. "It really reeks in here."

I scoffed but nodded, agreeing that the smell was getting worse by the second. As if it wasn't bad enough already.

Lavi put the documents in his bag and I removed as much of the black blood from _Mugen_ as I could with one arm before sheathing it, ignoring the rabbit's whining about my injury.

I've had worse run-ins with Dark Matter, none of which I felt the need to share.

As soon as we returned to the city, I was dragged off to a hospital. Lavi must have made an appointment ahead of time while I was asleep on the train. It was near impossible to get me to agree to seeing a doctor otherwise.

He never learns.

* * *

By the time we got there, my arm had already healed without a single sign of having just experienced possibly the second most gruesome thing in life. No scars, no stitches, no bumps or bruises. Just perfectly normal skin.

That was one of the small downsides of my curse. I healed too quickly. When I wasn't training, I spent most of my time doing missions, twice as many as other Exorcists would do. I was usually the one person not in the infirmary after returning from a mission.

But that was fine by me. If I could take that many more chances to help the Akuma, I'd sacrifice my life.

I lived to kill Akuma, to spare them from years of suffering.

I've never thought of how I would die. I've never protected my life for any other reason than pride or if it was necessary to finish my job. I never feared for my life, because I knew I'd recover.

I valued Akuma over humans. I'd kill the Akuma in front of me before saving an ally being attacked by one, something that made me known as one who will sacrifice 'friends' for the sake of the mission.

I suppose it's because, as a child who didn't die easily, I saw others in the same light. I was never quite taught that human lives were so fragile and fleeting. If an 11-year-old 'human' couldn't die, then the other humans shouldn't die either.

I didn't know that a real human would fall from a bullet to the chest or a knife between the ribs, a fractured spine, or a cut wrist. I didn't know that a human could stop breathing and die, because I never experienced the same light-headed, helplessness that others did when deprived of air. I knew I would survive.

My parents? They were Akuma. Akuma died quite easily. They didn't count as humans. Or maybe they did. Maybe my parents _were_ humans... but I wouldn't know...

..Because I didn't know what it meant to be a 'real human'.

* * *

END.

Lots of philosophical thinking for widdle Kandi-kun. It's like when I walk into class and my English goes "WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AMERICAN, KIDDIES?!"

I tried to keep Kid!Kanda IC.. which is hard, since I have no idea how he would act. I replaced the whole 'get the Innocence before saving the partner' side of Kanda with 'save the Akuma, not the human'. I hope it makes sense. And I think I kind of messed up in rewriting the whole murderer part. Meh.

For those who are interested, the Holocaust took place in the late 1930s and mid 1940s, so at this point, it's around 2040, give or take a year or two.

Review, flame, criticize, ask questions. I'll try to clear some stuff up. Allen won't show up until, like, way later, so don't ask about him.

Happy Late Halloween!

_(Revised: 5/3/10)_


	4. Experiment 3: An Empty Room, 1st try

OMG it's an update. Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

Er, yes. I've been preoccupied with Yullen Week, first of all, and second, uh, manga and anime. Well, that and I haven't had any time to work on my fics what with Yullen Week and homework and stuff..

Eh. And this isn't very long either. The first 5 or so chapters of this fic are more like background checks.. sort of.. things.. yeah. After a few more important events that only last one or two chapters, we'll get to the present time and there'll be an interesting twist in the plot, or so I hope.

So, here's Chapter 3.

Oh, but wait! What about your reviews, you say? I'm gonna reply to the ones from Chapter 2, but from now one, I'm gonna try and review to them immediately and not in this fic.

**whisperypath:** Oh, yes, it will be **M** pretty soon, once we get up to the worst parts of gore and when Kanda and Allen start getting dirty mouths.

**Sephant:** I love Allen, too. He will be brought back, though i can't say when.

**michellehail44:** LOL I'm sorry if I hurt your hand with my Phantom Limb writing, or something. 8D I guess that should be taken as a compliment, so thanks.

And thanks to Ramuthram Moon'sAbyss, Pin wa Naosu, Niki-Uni, , timydamonkey, Gefion, its only , yugiL, lavendar-lilly, DW98, and everyone else who reviewed! You know who you are, so I'm not going to waste more space listing names. 8D This is meant for fiction, not repying to reviews.

**Warnings**: Blood, not much gore this time, but there's some. Bad comparison of a balloon.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own DGM. I wish I did, but I don't. I do wish that Katsura Hoshino makes a fast recovery.

So, with all that out of the way, I present to you (FINALLY) Chapter 3 of _Experimental, Irreplaceable_!

Ja-ja~n...

And, yeah, I revised the story's summary. :D

_**

* * *

**_

_**An Empty Room, 1st try**_

* * *

Strange.

Very strange.

It was surprisingly quiet for a day such as that day.

I was eating my soba, as usual, without the annoyances of the usual clamor of the cafeteria. It wasn't that I didn't like the silence; it was just… strange.

It was probably the first silence I'd ever had at the Order since.. well, since never. There was always someone there making some kind of commotion, if not Lavi bugging him about something or other.

But Lavi wasn't here, and that fact both relieved me, being spared from his useless chatter, and disturbed me. There wasn't much that the stupid rabbit could be doing that he didn't tell me, or at least drop a hint about. Not that I ever listened to him anyway.

The only explanation was that it was an emergency, some sudden event that required the effort of a member of the traveling historians, the clan of _Bookman_.

If only that were the case. If it was, the Finders and other Exorcist would be in the cafeteria eating and making noise, but they weren't. So it wasn't an emergency.

"Exorcists Yuu Kanda and Linali Li, please report to Chief Supervisor Komui Li's office."

It was probably something worse.

* * *

The door closed with an ominously loud _click_, as the inside of Komui's office was for once silent. The supervisor himself was looking under the weather, and Lavi was slumped over in his seat.

Linali immediately went to her brother's side.

"Is something wrong, brother?"

I approached them with less eagerness and sat down next to Lavi, though I scooted as far away from him as I could on the three-seat couch.

Komui smiled and shook his head. "No, Linali. Nothing's wrong… except…" He looked down at the only paper on his desk, the rest of them piled in a mountain behind his chair. "We've received a letter from Cross, but it's not from Cross."

".. Huh?"

"Well, y'see, Lina," Lavi started with a muffled yawn, covering his mouth with a hand. "It's from Cross, but it's not Cross who sent it. Or, well, it's not Cross who wrote it, we should say."

Komui straightened out his glasses and laced his fingers, resting his elbows on the desk. "I've been having Lavi and some others go through a comparison of the letter's handwriting to all of the samples that we have, but so far there hasn't been a single match."

"Yeah. I'm getting a headache from all of this." Lavi groaned, slumping back over the arm of the couch. His eyes were red and bloodshot from staring at papers for too long.

"We're still not done comparing yet, and the letter itself doesn't seem to have any urgency to it, but…" Komui trailed off, tapping on the sheet for few seconds before holding it out. "Well, here, Kanda-kun. Take a look."

Grudgingly, I took the paper and scanned over the messy scrawl, like it'd been done by someone who had never written a letter before.

_'To Chief Supervisor Komui Li,_

_Come to Arlesey, Bedfordshire. Fairfield Hospital._

_The documents are waiting for you.'_

"..Doesn't sound like something General Cross would write."

"That's exactly what we thought, but Cross is the only General who dares to do experiments with Dark Matter and actually _record_ stuff about his results, so we have no choice but to conclude that it's him!"

"Uh huh. So. What about it?"

"_So_. Even though I suggested waiting until we're _sure_ it's not a trap, the Grand Generals believe that sending someone there is the fastest way to find out."

Linali's expression turned into one of worry. "Eh? But that's kind of reckless, brother."

"It is!" The elder of the siblings sobbed into his sister's arms, clinging to her black and white uniform. "And they had the gall to send my precious Linali out with _Kanda_, of all people!"

Lavi smiled at Linali apologetically. "Ouch. That sucks, Linali. I feel for ya."

"Kanda!"

"Che." I slid _Mugen_ back into its sheath and glared at the red-headed rabbit, eyebrow ticking in annoyance. "So when are we leaving?"

"You have half an hour to pack before the train leaves."

* * *

It was a silent train ride. Oh so silent. And comfortable. First-class seats were always comfortable.

Yep. Silent, comfortable… I could almost fall asleep.

"I haven't been outside the Order in a while," Linali remarked cheerfully. "Well, maybe the occasional mission, once every few months… or so.. but.."

"Che."

..Or not.

"I wonder who wrote that note.."

"..Che."

The uncomfortable silence fell again and Linali starting fidgeting in her seat again.

How many times was this? Four.. five…

Yeah. Linali has tried five times in the past four hours to break the silence. It wasn't working.

"Kanda-kun?" I kept my eyes closed and didn't bother giving any indication that I heard her. "..Why did you join the Order?"

"…You've asked this before."

"But, Kanda, you've told me what _happened_.. but you haven't told anyone _why_ _you joined_."

".._Che_." I glared at the wall of our train compartment out of the corners of my eyes. "You're annoying."

"Wha--?!"

"Does it matter why?"

Linali merely regarded me with an affronted glare, and a rather weak one at that, but a glare nonetheless.

The door rattled and slid open, and hooded person came through.

"Exorcists, we've arrived at station."

"Ah, thank you, Toma-san." Linali smiled, but it turned back into a glare once the door slid shut again.

Before she could say anything, however, the train began to slow down. With a last withering glare, Linali stood up and exited the compartment and I followed close behind, unaffected by her attempts at intimidation.

Even while in the back seat of the rented car and not even near the hospital yet, I had a bad feeling about it. That, or it was just the fog that almost caused the car to swerve and crash into some unsuspecting human being.

Fairfield Hospital was a psychiatric hospital, not one of those places that reeked of disinfectant. It was abandoned by now, having closed way back in 1999, and nothing more than another waste of 410-acres of land.

It wasn't painted, so there was none of that peeling-off-the-wall thing or chipped pieces falling off like you'd see in haunted houses, but the bricks that made up the building were starting to wear down, some having even fallen out and leaving holes in the wall. There was some paint, though, but I couldn't tell that color it originally was.

And there had to be a reason why the hospital hadn't been torn down a few decades earlier.

"Should I watch over the car?" Toma asked, pulling his hood up again after straightening out his strangely black hair.

There was something off about him and his question, something that wasn't quite right, but I couldn't figure what it was or why.

"I don't think there's anyone around to steal it, Toma-san."

The Finder chuckled. "I suppose you're right, Miss Li."

"There's no need to be so formal. 'Linali' is fine."

"Che." I pushed past them, interrupting their little exchange with the finesse of a bulldozer, and began up the path to the empty building.

The door was slightly ajar, as if someone had opened it and forgotten to close it, or decided that it didn't matter. The inside was rather clean, though, with only a thin layer of dust to show that it hadn't been taken care of in the past 40 or so years.

The floor was cracked and some places had broken through and were missing the flooring altogether, though it was hard to tell in the dark. It didn't help that the fog was blocking out the sun, either. There was practically no light coming through the door, and the windows were boarded up.

"It's really dark in here…" Linali flicked a light switch on and off, but nothing happened. "How are we going to find the documents like this?"

Somehow, a glint of gold caught my eye. A small candle holder with half a candle and a box of matches was sitting on some kind of dusty surface.

Just as I had a hold of the matchbox, cold fingers brushed against the back of my hand and I froze.

"Kanda?"

And she must have seen the hand, because Linali screamed not long after she called my name. Startled, I jerked my hand away and the candle crashed to the floor.

There was another yell of shock, but not nearly as high-pitched as Linali's.

"Miss Li, what happened?"

"Th-there was.. something.. t-touching your h-hand, K-Kanda…"

"Che. Scaredy cat." I picked up the fallen candle, lit it, and shoved it and the matches into Linali's hands. I needed both of mine to wield _Mugen_, in case anything happened.

The candle gave off a warm glow, lighting up a small part of the room around us. We were in a lobby; the chairs were breaking down, rotting, old-fashioned lights that were busted and had no electricity to function anyway, yellowing papers strew across the reception desk, numerous doors made of rickety wood, and.. shoes.

Boots, rather.

"Oi, Linali, raise the candle a bit."

But the candle didn't give off enough light, and unless Linali wanted to get closer, all we could see was the lower half of the person's coat and legs. Whoever it was couldn't have been older than 9 or 10.

"Kanda, the golems..!" Linali tugged at my sleeve just as a black bat-like object flew in from outside and hovered near my head.

_"Kanda… Kanda..?"_

"What, Komui?"

_"Where are you right now?"_

"..Fairfield Hospital, with your sister and the Finder."

Static crackled loudly on the other end. Linali and I shared a confused glance, and Toma stepped closer to us.

_"Finder… Which one?"_

"..Toma."

_"Kanda, that's not a Finder you're with. Toma is still at HQ--!"_

Linali's cry of _'Innocence, activate!'_ was drowned out by abnormal gunfire. The candle holder fell from my hands and went out as we crashed into the wall from Linali's tackle.

'Toma's' Finder uniform had blown open and his right arm was now a gruesome gun made of gray, stringy flesh and gears, dripping dark red blood.

"Aaah… I missed." 'Toma' sighed, kicking aside the broken pieces of flooring from his attack. He smirked. "Oh well… come on out, little Akumas!"

The doors around us creaked open and I tightened my hold on _Mugen_ hilt as bare feet stepped out from the darkness and into the small dome of light around us.

"We're not allowed to kill you…" 'Toma' laughed, his arm twisting from a gun into a blade-like weapon. "But that's so boring."

Something moved, skittering around the room, and candles came to life, casting light onto the faces of over a dozen children, each bearing the dreaded pentacle in the middle of their foreheads.

"So it _is_ a trap.." Linali whispered shakily. Her Innocence weapon, _Dark Boots_, flared and secured itself around her legs, giving off an aura that only Innocence could.

"It's not a trap." A girl's voice, though rather deep for one. The same one that went for the matchbox, now standing at the foot of a flight of stairs I hadn't noticed until now. She reminded me much of my mother with her brown hair and eyes, but hers were harsher, like they'd seen the worst in life.

A black creature crawled past us and Linali let out a muffled gasp as it grazed her leg on its way to the stairs. Dark Matter, the same ones you'd find on the streets, an oversized parasite the size of a small dog, screeched at us from the steps before being picked up by the brunette girl.

"Fairfield Hospital was used by the Millennium family to make Akuma back in the 1900s, under the excuse of treating shell shocked patients from the First World War." She made a sweeping motion at the Akuma surrounding us. "These children are the last ones. I suppose they were made when they were maybe 2 or 3 years old…"

The Akuma shuffled closer, their flesh and metal limbs creaking with strained movements. It sounded like a scene straight out of a horror film, like being closed in on by giant mindless robots.

"Kill… Kill…"

"Well, they've lost all hope over the years." Two sets of footsteps, 'Toma's' and the brunette's, disappeared up the stairs where there was the screeching of more Dark Matter parasites. "You may as well destroy them before they suffer anymore."

"Kill… Kill…"

Their eyes were empty, hollow, dead. Whatever fire they once held was now gone, doused with despair and the tragedies of life. Those were the eyes of those who had nothing left to live for, no reason to keep moving, because they were unnecessary, useless, unwanted machines that were thrown out as soon as their failure was announced.

"K-Kanda… I.. I think they're… trying.. to talk to us.." Linali pointed at one of the Akuma children.

"Kill… Kill… K..ill…"

"Just because those two could talk _and_ make sense doesn't mean all of them will." I held _Mugen_ up higher in front of me and backed up against the wall behind us. "Doesn't matter what they have to say. All we have to do is get rid of them and leave."

"But, what about the documents? She _did_ say it wasn't a trap…"

"Che. So sorry if I don't trust the words of an Akuma."

The first Akuma that attacked, I stopped with a swift cut, leaving a deep gash in the boy's chest. As he fell, his head stretched and expanded and his arms twisted into something akin to a boxer on steroids. His skin turned a sickly grey, cracked and spilled blood, and he died.

Then, the other Akuma started reacting to his death and inflated like balloons, changing from their humanoid form, the one we usually encountered, into a round ball structure with gun-like appendages protruding from it.

"Kill…"

The second charge was dealt a roundhouse kick from Linali's _Dark Boots_. The Akuma flew back, blood spurting from the cracks, and crashed into another one and sent showers of sparks and red liquid onto the floor. Another kick made the cracks in the shell bigger, and more dark crimson blood seeped out.

"Kill… u..s…"

Another, another, and another, more and more bloodshed, until each and every Akuma was no longer functioning, until all that was left was a pile of dried crystalline blood and machine parts made of tissue and blood.

We kept fighting until the lobby room reeked of rapidly decaying flesh and oil, until the floors were painted with tainted blood, until each and every once-living being in the building no longer had to suffer with their painful immortality.

_"..Kill... us."_

Until there was nothing else in sight that wished for its own death.

* * *

**More A/N:** Gurren Lagann ftw. And ES21, too. Whoo. And of course, FMA. I'm trying to rewatch all those episodes, but for some goddamn reason, they're copyright-infringmentted. :C FMA is, at least. Boo-hoo.

In case anyone's wondering, Kanda is around 13-14 right now.

See ya next chapter. Reviews are lovely, and flames are a wonderful substitution for a furnace. Not that I even have one.

It's cold.

And those two, the girl and 'Toma', are _not_ OCs. I just haven't told you who they really are yet. 8D


	5. Experiment 4: An Empty Room, 2nd try

Uh.. I really have nothing to say.

Oh. Right.

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, or something. Thanks. Really. I believe I've replied to all of you, but if not, I apologize, I still thank you.

_**An Empty Room**_ will have at _least_ three parts, so Kanda is still about 13 here.

**Warnings:** It gets gory here, so if you've got a weak stomach, close the window. I don't think it's that bad, but that's _me_, and I'm the writer, and I'm _weird like that_, so please use your own judgement. Cursing, snarkiness, Kanda being hypocritical is in here too. But he's 13, so it's understandable. Maybe.

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies. I don't own anything but this stupid concept I made up, or something.

Enjoy~

_**

* * *

**_

_**An Empty Room, 2nd try**_

* * *

"Hey, Kanda?"

Blood splashed onto a small corner of my sleeve and I frowned at the stain it made as I flicked some of the liquid off of _Mugen_.

"Yeah?"

Linali landed another airborne blow to an Akuma's head with her _Dark Boots_, sending it back into the wall. It was a wonder that none of them had caved in yet.

"Wouldn't this be faster if you activated your Anti-Akuma weapon?"

I thought about it for a moment, my body going into temporary auto-pilot to take out another enemy, reacting to the presence of their warped aura with almost mechanical, yet fluid, movements.

"..If I do, I'll take down half of the building, too." I grumbled, not entirely happy at my lack of control over _Mugen_'s powers. It was easier to just steadily hack away at their bodies, rather than try to rely on something that had only a small chance of working. "Same reason why you don't use your _Dark Boots_ for anything other than kicking."

"Well, they're hard to control… they never do what I want them to do, makes me so frustrated!" She emphasized her point (her frustration, at least.. I think) by jamming her leg into the flesh-mechanical ball, ignoring the crimson red traveling down her thighs. "Take _that_, you damned Akuma!"

"Che."

The last failed experiment died with a gurgle, bright pink frothing from its twisted mouth as it tipped over and onto the ground. Like all the others before it, the round shape deflated into something only _remotely_ human; gray skin that wrinkled and cracked easily, sunken eyes that were deader than they had ever been, and joints turning into those like a mannequin or puppet.

The faint sound of hundreds of tiny gears inside them slowly clicked to a stop, like a clock's last striking of the hour, leaving only silence to echo in the empty room.

"Was that the last one, Kanda?"

I shrugged in response, rolling my shoulders to relieve some of the strain, and turned to the staircase. There was no time to relax.

"We'll find out once we scour every single room in this place."

We still had work to do.

* * *

Just when we thought the lobby was bad and icky, we came face to face with the hallway and, worse of all, the _rooms_. They were just all kinds of yuck and grime, rotting flesh and rusting metal mixed in, decaying.. _stuff_. And the _stench_… It was worse than Auschwitz.

_Ew_.

Linali started backing out, covering her mouth and nose with both hands. Her skin was getting pale and green. "Um.. I.. I think I'll.. I'll just.."

"Search downstairs if you want."

She did just that.

Linali was a strong girl, to be able to fight these monstrosities without flinching. None that I could catch, at least. She was young, not even a teenager yet, but still being thrown out into the horrid world to fight for the sake of humanity, or so the Order taught us.

I trudged through the slush and muck – a mixture of grease, stringy muscles, and blood – trying hard to ignore the squelching sound as I accidentally treaded on an aged eyeball. Liquid-y gelatin oozed from under the sole of my boot and mixed with drying yellow bile.

With a grimace, I turned my attention elsewhere. Like, say, something's small intestines tangled around the legs of a chair.

Right…

There weren't any places to hide, so I closed the door and moved on to the next room. It was completely spotless… except for the tongues, suspended in bags filled with some kind of liquid and tacked to span a whole wall.

It may have been my imagination, but one of them.. _twitched_, and I slammed the door shut with a shiver.

From then on, the next five or six rooms were immaculately clean, almost hospitable, but there was always _something_ in them that ruined the mood, like an alien arm dissected and split open on the table with crude surgery tools, or a lineup of various (severed) toes and fingers from smallest to largest.

And then there was the cabinet filled with eyeballs floating in beakers of… formaldehyde (_that's_ what the tongues were in).

Out of _pure curiosity_, I cautiously decided to tap one of the jars with _Mugen_'s blade, only to notice a messily scrawled sign on the outside of the cupboard after I closed it.

_'Do not… touch'? Sheez, I can barely read this thing. 'Dangerous. Explosive. Corrosive.' What the hell does corrosive mean?_

The sound of glass breaking reached my ears even through the solid wood, and an acidic smell made me back away as vivid purple stained alcohol seeped out and ate a hole near the bottom of the cabinet.

_Oh. That's what corrosive means._

Wood melted into black sludge, froze before it touched the counter, and turned to stone before crumbling into dust. Another beaker broke from the shockwaves of the previous explosion.

I shut the door, walked away, and pretended that nothing had happened.

* * *

The eyeball incident was never repeated as the remaining rooms merely contained blood, guts, and brains, in no particular order or combination. There was a bit of everything in them, some were even still moving, if only barely.

Unlike the first room, these had been locked, leading me to believe that the Akuma and Dark Matter, from what I could see of the remains, were forced into the same room to regulate their population of the abandoned institute.

Yes, they were cannibals. Dark Matter had no sense of self or for each other, and would consume each other if it became absolutely necessary (read: starving for weeks or months, or even mere days). It certainly helped get rid of them quickly, if we only had a way to confine the billions of them in the world into one single place and _keep them there_ for long enough.

It was also better than letting them go after innocent humans.

There was one more door at the end of the hallway, one I had almost missed after dispatching a weakened pair of parasites in the previous room. It wasn't locked, so I only thought it was safe to go in and not be scarred by the presence of innards strewn about the room.

Indeed, there weren't any; no detached body parts, no guts, no brains, no _goo_ (whatever that was), and no arms or legs or even torsos with their skin peeled back and put up for display. There was none of that.. but somehow…

I found that this room was the worst one in the building.

"Mister human."

The black golem flitted through the doorway and crackled lightly with static, Linali's tired voice coming through loud and clear.

"What, Linali?"

I left the door open in case I needed a quick escape – jumping out of a window didn't seem to keen of an idea at the time – and stepped closer to the… _thing_…

_"I've searched all the rooms, and they're all empty.. but there's a basement."_

"And?"

_"It's.. lock—"_

"Mister human."

_"—ed… Kanda, who's that?"_

I frowned at the golem, wanting to glare at the Chinese so badly that the flying thing must have been able to convey _some_ of my annoyance.

".. I don't know. Seriously."

_"… Do you.. need any help..?"_

I scoffed.

_Me, need help?_

…_Maybe once in a blue moon._

"No."

I could practically see her pouting and reproachful look in her voice.

_"Kanda…"_

"Hush, dammit. I heard you the first time. I'll get down when I'm done here, so just sit tight and _be quiet_."

And I turned it off, lest Linali try to bleed my eardrums with her offended dulcet pre-teen screeching.

"Mister human, would you like a song?"

The _thing_ stepped closer, dislodging the ragged cloth around its shoulders. It _looked_ human.. the head at least. Like a porcelain doll, if I must use that comparison, with impossibly smooth skin, pale and dusted with rosy pink, and large, glassy blue eyes that seemed so real yet so fake at the same time.

"Mister human.. would you.. like a song..?"

Its fingers, with joints like a marionette, twitched as though repressing the urge to strangle something.

_That's.. That's __**my**__ job._

"Would you like a song, mister human?"

I stayed still and continued my silent observation, ready to move aside in case of an attack or whatever was to be thrown my way.

From the abundance of shimmering gold hair, I assumed it would've been a female.. if it were human.. but it's body was like an Akuma's. From the neck down, peeking from underneath the cloth, was gray-lilac skin, wrinkling in the wrong places and cracked in others. Its arms weren't stitched on at the shoulders like a Frankenstein monster, but it looked just as bad.

The gears used to operate the body were rotting, since they were most likely salvaged from the dead Akuma in various rooms, and the sinewy muscle holding the gears together and limbs to the main body were also stretching to their limits, ready to snap at any moment. Its left eye, previously under a wrap until it came undone and fluttered to the floor, was in a painful upside-down position and blinked awkwardly.

"..Who are you?" _What are you?_

It ignored my question.

"A song.. would you like.. a song?"

_The nerve of that little thing…_

I repeated myself, gripping _Mugen_ tightly and bracing myself for an attack.

"I.. want to sing…" it.. _pleaded_, reaching a hand out to me and I only backed away. Still staring and unaffected by my rejection, it inched closer. "Please, let me sing!"

Something moved out of the corner of my eye and the doll spun around, joints creaking eerily as it did. There was someone, or maybe some_thing_, lying on the worn down mattress off to the side of the room. The doll rushed over to the bed.

"Are you sleeping?" It crooned, leaning on the side of the bed with what was possibly a hopeful look. "Are you sleeping, human?"

"Mmph.. bugger off, Lala…"

"Sleeping?"

"Yes, Lala, I'm sleeping, now _bugger off_."

That voice was familiar, but I couldn't place where I heard it before. It had to be recent, though.

"Then, I'll sing a lullaby for you and mister human."

"No, please, don't sin—wait,"The figure shifted and rolled over. "Me'n.. _who_..?"

Ah. It was that girl from earlier. She really did look like my mother…

But that didn't stop me from attacking, or trying to.

I couldn't get an attack in, because the doll was apparently more than just an accessory to keep around. A simple palm thrust to shove me and the brunette apart left both of us clutching at our stomachs.

"_Bloody hell_, Lala, stop hitting me too!"

Rather rude for a lady.

Coughing, I stood up again, using _Mugen_ for support. "Stupid doll.."

"And _you_, you damned Exorcist, you should be running back to the Order with the documents, not playing around with little girls!"

Oh. _Very_ uncouth – not that I was one to talk. I really didn't like this one.

"I could kill you right here and now, brat."

"No, you can't!"

And again with the palm thrust/shove thing. This time, I didn't bother to stand up and just stayed seated, coughing and glaring at the broken down object called _Lala_.

It glared back, or so I thought.

"You can't kill my human. I won't let you."

"Che." Annoyed as I was, I had to hold back from activating _Mugen_ and slaughtering them, at least until I found out who or what they were.

"Stop, Lala," the brunette sighed and shook her head, jumping out of the bed absolutely no grace at all, and pulled on the pair of boots at the side of the bed with a bit of difficulty, considering the fact that she was wearing large mittens. "All the Akuma in this place are dead by now. If he damages you, I won't be able to fix you."

"Fix?" My eyes narrowed. Why would an Akuma fix another Akuma? They were heartless – they didn't care about other Akuma. Unless… "You're not an Akuma?"

"Me, an Akuma?" She laughed, not a nice, kind laughter like Linali's, nor a careless one like Lavi's. I could almost call it.. _mocking_. "You're off your rocker. If I was an Akuma, Lala would have killed me _ages_ ago."

"…Why would it do that?"

"You don't know? And here I thought they kept you guys in the know on everything," she scoffed and crossed her arms, not at all afraid of the fact that _Mugen_ was directly pointed at her. "Some old bloke from Italy, Guzol or something, thought it'd be a brilliant idea to turn his two-year-old daughter into a bloody Exorcist."

Guzol.. I knew that name, but I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before. And Lala, and especially _Exorcist_..

"C'mere, Lala. Won't hurt a bit, I swear."

But it must have hurt, because even I could barely hide my look of shock and horror. I started doubting whether or not the brunette was just a child putting on a bluff as I previously thought she was.

She grasped the two knobs jutting out on top of the doll's head – I hadn't noticed them earlier – and pulled them down to eye level. The doll's clear blue eyes glazed over and it fell limp.

The girl looked over her shoulder at me with something akin to boredom. "I'm sure you've heard of Light Matter before, so I won't have to explain that?"

I glared, but gave her a curt nod.

As strange as her actions were, I watched in rapt fascination as she turned the knobs, and the doll's face turned and came off the way it would when you opened a hatch on a submarine.

Underneath the shell of a face was a mass of ashen gray.

"Well, they put one of those things in her voice box – tried to give her some kind of voice to kill Akuma – and this is what happened."

Lilac gray brain matter – no, the brain was still intact and whole, held in place by a cobweb of white instead of cerebrospinal fluid. It should have been living off of blood, but all of the blood vessels were filled, or maybe replaced, with glowing white tendrils that moved across the brain in a way that convinced me that something was _alive_ and _living_ in there.

Some of the threads of white were penetrating the brain, pumping some unknown material into it, and others looked more like little hands ghosting over the glistening surface and wrapping around it. There didn't seem to be an origin for any of the tendrils; they were either too tightly wrapped together to tell, or they were actually coming out of the brain instead of going into it.

"It's still alive, if you're wondering." She drawled lazily, picking at one of the threads with her fingernail – which I noticed as dirty and bitten down – before putting the glove back on. "They didn't want to kill the little bugger and make it into a weapon." And the damned brat _rolled her eyes_ at me and my somewhat disturbed expression. She rapped on the back of the doll's head with her knuckles and the strands writhed frantically, spreading further over the somehow still living organ. "Guzol ended up turning his own daughter into a weapon instead."

She smiled as she spoke, but it wasn't a good smile. It wasn't one that was meant to consolidate or comfort; it was one of amusement and scorn. I only tightened my grip on _Mugen_ and refused to relax in spite of the lack of threat the two of them posed towards me.

"Why are you telling me this?" I inquired nonchalantly, trying not to look as interested as I felt. I was here to do a job, not here something's life story, as appealing as it may sound.

"Thought you'd want to know," She shrugged and glanced out the window. "Before you, y'know, blow up the bloody building, or something."

I took a brief look out of the window, but couldn't see much from the angle I was at. "Who said I was going to blow anything up?"

She didn't answer, instead replacing the face shell onto Lala's head and putting the knobs back into position. I supposed they were like a power switch, seeing as the doll was some kind of Akuma as well.

"They threw her out after she went crazy and killed her father. They had to, or they'd die too."

_I wonder if that kid knows how to fight…_

I raised _Mugen_ up a few inches higher, slowly, as the doll's gears started to whir into action once again, glazed eyes returning to their normal – or as normal as possible – clarity.

"Parasite-type Exorcists are the most valuable to the Order, most dangerous to the public, and also the most short-lived." She grinned cynically, with a hint of hesitation and frustration evident in the crinkling her forehead. "Know why?"

"How do you know about the Order?"

She ignored my question just as I ignored hers and pointed at her neck, now partly obscured by the hood of her coat.

"The Light Matter parasite wasn't put _into_ her voice box. It _ate_ and _replaced_ it."

I should have attacked then, when the doll was still recuperating, but I still wasn't sure of these two. Lala, a former/ex/failed experiment for making Exorcist, was tossed out and then.. saved(?) by someone, most likely the girl.

_..Does this make them allies or enemies..?_

"If you're lucky, the thing will only be able to take over your brain, you'll end up like Lala, and someone will eventually take pity and off you so you don't suffer," The brunette said with a shrug. "Not for too long, that is."

_Allies or enemies. Allies.. or enemies… friend.. or foe..?_

Static crackled loudly in the silence of the room. _"Kanda?"_

_When did that damn golem turn on?_

I spared a split second glance at the flying contraption, and that was enough for them. The doll blasted through the window. Dust and chunks of cement showered everywhere and lowered my visibility. By the time it settled enough for me to see out of the hole in the wall that used to be a window, they were already gone.

And there was someone else wearing a Finder suit lying in the grass next to a smashed force field generator. From what I could see, the person's face was covered in bandages save the eyes, so I assumed it was a man.

_"Kanda, what happened?"_

"… Nothing. Just lost control and made a hole in the wall, that's all."

_"Oh.. well, the Finder's arrived. It's the real Toma this time, and we've just broken the lock to the basement."_

"Finder?" I checked outside the window again. Sure enough, the guy was still there with a gaping wound on his chest. "But—"

_"Toma says there was an Akuma outside, but it's caught in the Talisman now. We'll get the documents and you take care of the Akuma, okay?"_

I had no time to answer. There was a Finder with Linali and a Finder outside, so one of them had to be the fake one. It was one or the other.

With a deep breath, I jumped off of the second story and managed a landing next to the injured (possible) Finder with nothing but a sore ankle. I checked his pulse and the wound itself. Flesh, alive, and normal colored blood…

I nearly crushed my golem when I snatched it out of the air where it was hovering, near the entrance to the hospital.

"Linali!"

"_What's wrong, Kanda?"_

"Linali, that Finder's not--!"

"_Hold on,"_ Her voice moved, like she was leaning away from the golem. _"Toma, I found them! They're in here, Toma.. Toma?"_

"Linali--!"

I made a couple of mistakes.

The first was not checking for identification that would prove which one was the real Finder.

The ominous sound of a gun being loaded rang loudly in the silence. Just as I turned around, a high-caliber bullet of solidified blood embedded itself in my stomach and left arm. I stumbled back from the impact and braced myself against the wall.

My second mistake; jumping out of the second story. With even a slight sore in my ankle, running and fighting would be difficult unless I could ignore the pain, something I hadn't learned to do yet.

"And here I thought I'd be able to get away after they so kindly destroyed the generator for me…" the fake Finder sighed and used his non-contorted hand to unwrap the bandages around his head. Blackish-brown hair fell down in a ponytail over the Akuma's back. "I certainly didn't expect you to come jumping out of there after them.."

I managed to pull out half of each shot, the other halves having already dissolved, introducing the Akuma virus into my bloodstream. There wasn't any pain from the injury because the nerves were being disabled one by one by the virus. It blocked them, stopped the brain from receiving any signals, and slowly turned the cells into stone.

_"Kanda.. Kanda!"_

Linali's voice from the golem sounded like a distant echo, muted and muffled by the insistent buzzing in my ears as my heart pumped furiously, trying in vain to flush the tainted blood out through the wound. It wasn't working, because the cells were already dead and petrified, closing off the blood vessels.

But before they could become dust, they returned to flesh and throbbed with delayed pain.

Seeing that the virus had no effect, the Akuma's gun changed into a large claw that effectively stopped my movements – not that I could have moved through the pain, anyway – and reduced _Mugen_ to just another stick in the ground.

"Say, Exorcist.. If I killed you," It drawled with a slight British accent. "..would you die?"

"What.. what kind of.. question.. is _that_?" I hissed, flinching when the claw pressed harder against my already bleeding arm.

"Would you die, boy, if I killed you?"

"No," I managed a scathing glare and a low growl despite the situation. "I won't die.. not until.. I get rid of.. each and.. every.. last… one of.. you…"

From up close, the Akuma didn't look much like one. I had always associated _Akuma_ with _round machine that looks completely fucked over_, which was true for the most part. But this one..

This Akuma could talk. It could think, and it had feelings; it was almost.. _almost_.. _human_…

_"Kanda.. Kanda, what happened? Kanda! Answer me!"_

The claw disappeared and I staggered, trying to stay standing, until another bullet tore into my chest and I almost bit my tongue to keep from shouting. Two more smaller calibers took out both of my knee joints and I slid a few inches down the wall.

"Like I said earlier, boy, I'm not allowed to kill you. However, if things here go _too_ well.. your superiors will get suspicious, won't they?" The gun, now resembling a shotgun rather than some kind of cannon, pressed against my left temple. "..But you won't die, now, will you?"

"I will never die," I coughed, my own blood mixed with the virus showering the grass and causing it to wilt and crumble upon contact. "Not until.. I kill.. every last one of you... _damned Akuma_."

The Akuma smiled. Gray fleshy gears turned and changed the shotgun into a smaller pistol, still attached to his arm, and it loaded with another loud click.

"Then I'll take your word for that, Exorcist."

The gunshot was, to say the very least, loud; yet at the same time, it was oddly silent. It didn't echo, nor did it cut off immediately. It just simply.. went off.

It was like listening to a pin drop in an empty room.

* * *

A/N: So, there's still one more part to _**An Empty Room**_ before we skip a few more years to another multi-part section. I'm just covering key bits of Kanda's life, and I'm too lazy to write out all 13 years of it, or something, so we're skipping some.

(Voting thing has been taken out. insert huge blank space here. |D)

You can also guess as to who the brown haired kid and the Akuma are. 8D They _are_ important people, but I'm not telling who they are yet. I think I just gave it away though, but what_ever_.

Also, I'm still trying to explain the whole concept of Dark Matter and Light Matter, so some feedback on what you understand so far or what you'd like to know would be really helpful. I don't want to put huge long A/N at the bottom explaining it or something, I'd rather try and incorporate the explanation into the story. Somehow.

Review and/or vote, or whatever you want to call it. C:

Yei for Lala. 8B And Guzol, but he's dead, so... yeah.

Here ends the uber long author's notes.

P.S.: SEX still looks pretty damn hilarious on screen. XD

_(Revised: 5/3/10)_


	6. Experiment 5: An Empty Room, Last try

Jesus _Christ_, this is so goddamn short I feel like utter FAIL.

Well, it's the last part. . I even tried to make it longer and I failed at thaaaat. I feel that I didn't put enough effort into this. I get the feeling I'm missing something from this chapter but I can't tell what and that's making me feel ruuuussshheeed. : So please excuse me if this is a pile of crap.

Thank you all who reviewed, and those who thought about it BUT DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO LAZY. I thank you all.

And I'm sorry for the lateness. I need to start working on _The Final Stage_ as well, so don't expect any updates for _Experimental_ after this for a while.

**Warnings:** Nothing (OMG). No, seriously, there's nothing to warn against.

**Disclaimer:** I wouldn't be writing this if I did own DGM. I'd be continuing it because HOSHINO ISN'T akdhfk;jhlgw.

Enjoy.

_**

* * *

**_

_**An Empty Room, last try.**_

* * *

Lavi could only stare the pandemonium. Scientists were being baffled left and right; doctors, though stunned, were yelling orders at 'incompetent monkeys'; Head Nurse looked ready to blow at the amount of confusion; Komui was torn between worrying, being more interested than necessary, and crying over Linali.

And all of it was to the return of _one_ Yuu Kanda. Unconscious, bloodied, and possibly on the verge of death, the 13-year-old Exorcist still managed to rile things up.

Lavi shook his head and sighed. Yuu would survive. He always did.

He didn't know the details of Yuu's injuries or how bad they were, but that guy could live through anything.

"Linali," he put on a sympathetic smile. "Could I have the documents?"

The Chinese girl sniffled and tried to look angry through her tears. "You.. You and Kanda. You're both the same."

He blinked. "Huh?"

"Why don't you guys care about each other? You're friends, aren't you?" She sobbed and jerked away from his touch. "Kanda could be dying and all you care about are these _frickin' papers_!"

That was about the closest to a curse Lavi had ever heard from Linali.

"And Kanda, he doesn't care about _you_ when you get hurt! Why? Why doesn't he care? Why don't you care about each other, even though you're _friends_?"

The previously crowded hallway was not empty, and Linali's soft cries echoed a little against the cold stone walls.

Lavi smiled again and gently pried the packet, slightly stained with blood, from Linali's grip.

"I'm a member of the Clan of _Bookman_, remember?" He patted her on the shoulder and started past her for his room. "This is my job, Linali."

His footsteps sounded dull and empty, and his smile dropped. Truthfully, he wanted to care, he wanted to go visit his injured comrades, but he couldn't. That wasn't part of his job.

"What about Kanda?" She whispered, almost inaudible. "Why doesn't _he_ care?"

Lavi thought about it for a moment and shrugged.

"I guess you could just blame Leverrier for that."

* * *

I.. remember..

The last thing I saw.. before.. before Linali found me..

I saw that girl.

I didn't lose consciousness immediately – or rather, to be more specific.. I was conscious, but at the same time, I wasn't. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, could barely breathe – and even that was painful.

_How wonderful._

So I merely watched. I watched her look at me from behind the car and form, sad, almost. Disapproval.

She spoke to the Akuma – the only one left – who looked apologetic. The gun he shot me with twisted back into a human-like hand, and he placed that hand on her head in way a father would console a child – his own or otherwise.

And someone started singing, an Italian lullaby, maybe. It was all garbled and warped, but it still sounded soothing.

"Lala, stop singing."

Mitten clad hands struggled to lift me off the grass and lean my back against the wall before brushing off whatever dirt or dust I may have had on my coat.

_Like that's necessary. I'm pretty much dead anyway._

The brunette frowned again and ducked out of my sight, and I felt a light pressure against my chest.

_What the—get the hell away from me!_

"..Weird." She muttered. She took off her mittens and shamelessly pulled open my coat and unbuttoning my shirt, peeling it off the bloodstained skin. "His wounds are already healing… negating the virus.."

"Something wrong?" The Akuma asked from a distance, back at the car.

"No." She shook her head and clucked her tongue in disapproval, buttoning up my shirt again. "We're leaving now."

_Next time I see you, you're dead meat._

"Lala, _stop singing_!"

The doll immediately silenced. "..Why?"

"Whaddya mean, 'why'?"

"Why?" Lala stared, eyes blinking in an unsynchronized way, and tilted its head. "He's.. he's like us, isn't he..? Can't I sing for him, then?"

The brunette stood quickly. I couldn't see from the angle of my head, nor did I have any strength to move it, but I could feel the harsh gaze.

"..We're leaving, Lala. His friends should be done with the Dark Matter inside."

At that, my arm twitched. Here I was, useless, unable to move, and they had to fight through a sea of parasites before they could even get out. I couldn't even _glare_.

"Worried, Exorcist?" The girl crouched down in front of me, peering up into my face with interest. "It's fine. They're not gonna die. We're not here to kill you Exorcists – I'm not, at least, no matter how much of a bastard you guys are."

I tried to move, grit my teeth even, but I only succeeded in making it harder to breathe, which only aggravated my chest wound even more with the coughing.

"You're wrong, Lala. He's not like us," she stated, straightening up again. "He's a bloody Exorcist."

"Oh…"

"..And I _hate_ Exorcists, Lala. Now, come on, we're _leaving_."

The doll nodded and waved in my face. "Bye, mister human."

Despite my injuries, I lifted my head a few centimeters, choking on the pain throbbing in my skull, and watched. I watched as the Akuma hoisted the doll into his arms like it _wasn't_ a doll and was instead an actual _human_…

The girl smiled as they left, walking side by side, the three of them, mixed up and matched together into a… a…

"Master Exorcist!"

A.. _family_.. a dysfunctional.. and unexpected one.. but..

"Kanda.. Kanda!"

_It's still a family…_

* * *

"Blood pressure."

"85 over 40, pulse 38."

Komui frowned. "And he's still unconscious."

"Yes, Chief Supervisor."

"Give him some anesthetics just in case. Goodness knows how much pain that child has gone through…"

The needle penetrated the Japanese's right arm, under the skin, and injected the drug. When it pulled out, however, it started to clog and crumble into dust.

"As I thought. The virus is still in his bloodstream." Komui sighed. "We'll have to think of something, fast."

"Sir?"

"It's not uncommon to have patients who have cut off infected parts of their bodies in order to stop virus from spreading," he explained, making a slicing motion across two of his fingers. "But Kanda is possibly the only non-Parasitic-type Exorcist who can survive being hit by the virus. We've no way to remove the virus, either."

The door of the infirmary burst open. The inspector and Howard Link strode in, the former looking almost furious.

"What's his condition?"

"Inspector!" Head Nurse exclaimed indignantly, blocking Leverrier's path. "This is a hospital! I'll have no disturbances in he--!"

"_What is Yuu Kanda's condition_?" the Inspector all but roared, this face turning red with rage.

Komui coughed into his first. "He's still alive, if that's what you're wondering, Inspector." Komui stated curtly, clasping his hands behind his back. "He has also contracted the Akuma virus, so approaching him at the moment is ill advised."

"Even with the virus, he still lives?" Leverrier's anger and grim look take on a more pleased expression, a wry smile, at Komui's nod. "Good, good.."

"What's 'good', Inspector?"

"That he's alive, of course." But Komui was not convinced. Leverrier wasn't _happy_, but more like.. _satisfied_. "Now, we have to make sure he _stays_ alive."

_But with what?_

"Yes, of course, we'll try our best." Komui forced a smile. "It did come as surprise, however, that he was still alive. We may have to run some tests, if possible, Inspector."

"No."

Komui's smile dropped. "Sir?"

"No tests. No more experiments are necessary on this child, Chief Supervisor Komui Li." And with that, the Inspector turned and walked out, Link close on his heels. "As of now, Yuu Kanda is no longer an '_experiment_'. He is already the '_perfect soldier_'."

The door slammed loudly. Both Komui and Head Nurse grumbled under their breaths and mentally berated the Inspector for being so brash.

"Supervisor."

Komui snapped out of his mental tirade and turned to the nurse who had just approached him. "Yes?"

"The CT scan results are back. There's no sign of any bullets in Yuu Kanda's skull. We believe that they may have already dissolved into his bloodstream."

"So there's nothing we can do to get it out… We'll just have to let him rest for a few days and see how it goes, seeing as we can't do much at the moment." Komui sighed, pushing his glasses up and back onto the bridge of his nose. "Head Nurse, I believe all we'll need is an ECG, EEG, and ventilator."

"No IV, Chief Supervisor?"

"The needle will corrode." He pursed his lips in thought. "We'll try the IV in a few days, when his body will supposedly be cleared of the virus."

Kanda's injuries had been cleaned out earlier, carefully, but not without some difficulty. The cotton and cloths kept absorbing the virus in Kanda's blood and repeatedly crumbled dust into his wounds. Eventually, they gave up trying to wipe it and just flushed it out with water as best as they could.

Komui paced around to the side of the bed, watching as the nurses placed electrodes on Kanda's chest as well as over the radial and carotid arteries for the ECG, and electrodes to his temples and scalp for the EEG.

The mask was applied and the machines turned on.

"And now.. we just have to wait…"

* * *

Darkness swirled in my mind and my head throbbed like a battalion of Akuma decided to stomp around on the inside of my skull. Pain washed through my entire body and merged with the ever familiar sensation of a cool rush of saline solution in my veins.

_A.. dream..? But.. it felt real… __**too**__ real.._

"…hear me, Chief Supervisor?"

"Inspector.. ask that.. leave.. at once!"

_Where… where am I..?_

"Do _not_.. him.. _die_."

"We're doing… best.. Inspector…"

_What the hell.. I can't even tell.. what they're saying.._

The clamor and arguing grew louder and closer, until it seemed that Leverrier's yelling was practically right in my ear. My eyes cracked open and light flooded into them, painfully bright and I cringed. A few moments later, I could open my eyes again with no problem.

From what I could see and hear over the noise, I must have been in the Order's built-in infirmary. The scent of antiseptic and rubbing alcohol was faint, but still there.

"Why hasn't he woken yet?"

"Inspector, his wounds have just finished healing."

"He's done better in _three days_." The Inspector sounded livid. "Are you _really_ taking care of him of are you just running your _damn experiments_ even though I specifically told you _not to_?"

"With all due _respect_, Leverrier," Komui's voice sounded strained and forced. "I'm a _scientist_, not a _doctor_. As Chief Supervisor, the extent of my powers is issuing orders and overseeing them."

Leverrier's answering growl held a threat. "Do _not_ allow him to die, _Chief Supervisor_. I will _not_ repeat myself, nor will I tolerate any mistakes on your behalf. That young man is the perfected specimen, and I'll not lose him at this critical moment. Unless, of course, you're willing to _try_ and let your _beloved sister_ replace hi—"

"_Inspec_--!"

"_Sirs_!" Head Nurse all but shrieked, angrily. "Please _leave at once_!"

There was a moment of blissful silence otherwise penetrated by the occasional beeping of my pulse on the ECG, a squeak of rubber of linoleum, and someone – maybe both of them – slammed the door behind them as they exited.

"_Honestly_, how anyone gets anything done around here, I don't know. So many _interruptions_." The light blue sheet parted and Head Nurse came into focus, holding a glass of water. "I'm sorry, did they wake you up?"

"I.." Coughing around a dry throat, I drew in a breath that almost rattled in my lungs. Days of lying around had taken its toll on my body, as well as the attack, and I needed help to sit up properly. The glass of water was placed in my hands and I accepted it gratefully.

"How.. how long..?" Another cough and a sip of cold water, and I tried again. "..How long have I..?"

"A little over four days, young man. How are you feeling?"

"Sore," I frowned. "..and tired."

"Well, of course, you took some serious damage. I'm surprised you're even alive!"

I laughed softly. "Yeah. So am I." I stared at the ripples in the cup for a while. "..Head Nurse?"

"Yes?"

"I heard… What did the Inspector mean.. I'm a 'specimen'?" I was sure I sounded like a little child asking why no one wanted to play with me.

"I don't know, dear," she said softly and lifted the glass away, placing it on the stand next to the bed. "Though I'm sure one of the _Bookmen_ would tell you, if you asked nicely."

"Che."

As if I'd ever ask that rabbit for any favors.

_A specimen.. means they've already run tests on me. But.. when? When did they do it?_

I couldn't remember. Perhaps it was during the time I was unconscious. Yeah. That was probably the answer.

After all, I never did get injured enough to black out, and that was the first. Surely they were interested and just wanted to find out why.

_Yeah. That's probably it._

* * *

Linali clutched the clipboard to her chest as she walked down hallway from her brother's office. The Science Department was overflowing from the new information provided by the recently acquired documents, and they were trying to pull all-nighters to analyze everything.

And Linali's role in that was to provide them with coffee, as she always did. They needed it, seeing as they never stopped working even when they wanted to stop – the Order was getting to be understaffed and that meant more work for those who were there to do.

Well, it was pretty hard to hire people who didn't quite get paid as much as if they'd taken other jobs. Linali was _sure_ that even a _hooker_ made more money than Leverrier did.

Not that she had a mind to become one any time soon. Really. The Order was like home to her, and she had no mind to leave it, even if she was brought here against her will in the first place.

As she passed by the infirmary on her way to the kitchens, she paused.

"..Maybe I should give Kanda a visit..."

But when she went in, Head Nurse said that he wasn't in. She thanked the nurse and sighed before continuing her way down the tower and towards the kitchens.

"Looking for Yuu, Lina?"

Linali turned around. "Ah, Lavi. Yes.. I wanted to see if he was okay."

"He's already in his room, moping, or something." Lavi chuckled. As if Kanda would ever do such a thing, but it was still amusing to think about it. "But I don't think you'd want to go there."

"Why?"

The red-head scratched at the back of his head. "You know how he is. Doesn't like getting visits. He'd probably tell you to stop wasting time and get back to work!"

Linali looked sad as they continued towards the kitchen where she would order a batch of coffee to take back to the Science Department, if they hadn't already died of overtime.

"He's always like that.. He didn't used to be like that when he was young, right? I can't really remember much.."

"Nah." Lavi waved a hand at her dismissively. "He was like me; cute little 5-year-old when I first met him. Except he had a sword. But I had a hammer, so everything was fine and dandy in the end!"

The thought of Kanda, _the_ Yuu Kanda, being a cute little child, was hard to imagine.. but it was possible. After all, everyone was a child at one time in their lives, and some never grew out of it.

The Chinese tapped her chin with a thoughtful look on her face, her brow slightly pinched with worry.

"I wonder what happened that made him change..?"

"Like I said before, Lina." Lavi stopped walking when they reached the door to the mess hall and gave a shrug and a lopsided smile.

"You can just blame Leverrier for that."

_

* * *

_

_A perfect soldier. That's what I am. Do my job, ask no questions, demand no answers. Just do as I'm told. That's all I have to do._

_There are no 'if's, 'and's or 'but's. Just straightforward orders, a solid path to follow, Mugen in my hands, and Akuma to kill. That's how I was raised. That's how I work._

_There are no feelings attached. I have a heart; I just don't use it._

_And what's a person without emotions?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**An Empty Room, end.**_

* * *

An _EEG_ is an electroencephalogram. It records brain waves. An _ECG_, also known as an _EKG_, records heart beat and pulse. _Ventilators_ are those machines that help you breathe.

And it's the end of another chapter, another part, of this story of mine.

I've got a lot more planned out. Turns out _Allen_ won't be showing up for a few more chapters, but we've got some flashbacks from widdle Kandi's past that includes a cute widdle Awen.

More plot to unveil in later chapters. Look forward to it.

Until next time.


	7. Experiment 6: Welcome to Roanapur

Whooooooo NEW CHAPTER YEI.

So **the27** and I pressured each other to get the hell off our lazy asses and update on the same day. SO HERE'S MY PART MS. 27 I HOPE YOU KEEP TO YOUR END AS WELL. **Stray** is a wonderful little piece of win and orphaned!Allen and a.. Kanda. Yeah. Kanda. Lovely little Kanda. And Allen.

School has been a pain in the arse. I apologize for the late, short update. I'm taking time out of my history homework to upload this too lolol

**Warning:** Cursing. Spunky!Allen. Kanda. Kanda's musings about spunky!Allen. No romance yet! It's getting there 83 Oh and Lavi's in here too and Lavi = humor.. or attempted humor, at least. And lololol this is unbeta'd so there might be some typos here and there. Microsoft Word is kind of unreliable.

**Disclaimer:** OH, HOW I WISH I OWNED DGMZ oh and YEI NEW DGM CHAPTERS.

Kanda makes my day. I hope he makes yours, too.

Note: Kanda's finally 18. I skipped quite a bit of his life, but that's explained in later chapters.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Welcome to Roanapur**_

* * *

"Hey, Yuu-chan."

"…"

"..Why are we doing this again?"

I sighed irritably, tapping my fingers against the wheel. In the backseat, an ashen-haired teen sat idly, watching the scenery out the window. Lavi yawned from the passenger seat.

"I mean, sure, kid's cute n' all, but why're we escortin' him? S'old enough to drive, ain't he?"

"Dunno." I frowned. "Hey, kid. Santa Claus."

"My _name_ is Robin," the brat replied. "And I don't have a _beard_."

"What the hell ever. Can you drive?"

"What?"

I scoffed. "He can't drive."

No duh. He was only 15, after all. Not that we were much older.

"Aah, I remember now," Lavi whined, resting his forehead on the dashboard. "We're babysittin' 'cause Suman's missing."

"Dead."

"_Missing_." Lavi insisted. "Body's not found yet, but God bless his soul."

"He's _dead_, Saint Patrick."

"I'm not Irish."

"And I'm not Asian." The car lurched to the side as I swerved into an empty lane. No one was out on the highways at this time of day, in this place. Except maybe some crazy idiots. Or us. "Which exit?"

"Uuhh.. this one."

Cursing, I swung the black military issued Sedan onto the outermost lane, barely making it into the exit ramp.

"Fucking tell me sooner!"

"I don't know these roads!" The redhead complained, gripping his seat (or something, at least) to keep his face from smashing into the window. "I can't keep track _and_ hold a conversation at the same—left turn, Yuu! _Left turn_!!"

"Fuck you, red!"

In the middle of the intersection, the car did a 90 degree turn and the tires screeched as we sped off, dragging a chorus of honks and beeps. I would have attempted to flip them off if not for another sharp right turn.

Robin, or so he said his name was, merely laughed with glee. I wasn't even sure if he as wearing the damn seat belt.

"Havin' fun there, Batman?"

"Suman's driving is _boooooring_," the white-haired brat laughed in reply. "Are we going to see Father Frederico?"

"Father? We're going to a goddamned _church_?!"

"Connected to the Order, Yuu. And, yes, Robby. We are!" Lavi grinned, turning to face the brat in the back seat.

"Not if you don't keep dropping directions, we won't." I hissed, swerving to avoid a passing car, followed by a flurry of annoyed car horns.

If there was one relatively positive thing about this run-down town that somehow managed to survive past the blowout back in 2000*, it was the lack of discrimination. Storeowner, street walker, government official, state official – no one gave a damn. Plaster an '_I ARE GOV'T REP_' on the back of your Jeep and all you get is fifteen bucks wasted on paint. And maybe a trashed vehicle.

If you drove bad, you got the horn and some other censored shit. Military, housewife, widow – Black Order. It didn't matter.

It was a town that had everything – vintage clothing, Bahamas trinkets, Hawaiian shirts, _firearms_ – yet had nothing at all. After Duke Millennium went on a rampage and wiped out half of Russia with some kind of weapon no one knew about, he did the same to China. Didn't attack anywhere else, but it was enough. The aftereffects showed up worldwide; radiation, UV, and some crazy scientific shit Lavi was spouting one night.

I wasn't really paying attention to him.

All I knew was that this place was a place where the hider would hide; where the seeker could seek; the dealer could deal; the hooker could.. hook? And where the killer could kill. Or be killed. Depending on who you off, that was. Akuma were no problem in a place like this. Nothing could stand up to a grenade launcher and armor piercing rounds – not even biomechanical machines.

Grand fucking town, Roanapur*.

"C'mon, Yuu! Lighten up! We're in _Thailand_. Dontcha feel _riiiight_ at home?" Lavi's eyebrows moved in a way I supposed was suggestive, but what did I know?

"I'm _Japanese_, dyke. Not Thai."

We weren't even _near_ Thailand. Unless you counted the fact that Roanapur was sitting on top of soil straight from Thailand. Don't ask how it got to the UK. Even the rabbit didn't know.

Nobody knew, nobody cared. All original inhabitants had turned into Akuma, and people just hopped aboard with their trigger happy friends. In the end, though, guns and grenades could only do so much. The Black Order stepped in not too long after and set up what was supposed to be a branch headquarters.

Rumors I'd heard said otherwise. Especially what the rabbit let slip.

But then again, it wasn't like I'd tell anyone what I heard.

Still.

"Why the fuck does it have to be a _church_."

"Yuu, just because you don't believe in God or any similar shit—"

"The Lord is _not_ shit."

"—Shut it, Hood." Lavi held up a finger in the white-headed teen's direction in a gesture of silencing. "As I was saying. Just because _you're_ not religious doesn't mean the rest of us are the same!"

".." I stared. Or would have, if I didn't have to watch the road at the same time. As it was, I gave him a disproving glance. "You. Religious?"

"What?" Lavi blinked before putting his hands up in alarm. "No! No, no no no no no. After everything _I've_ seen and been through, there can be no such thing as God or whatever is up there!"

"There _is_." Robin huffed, butting his pouting face in between the driver and passenger seats. "There _is_ a God and he's very—"

"Nice? All powerful? Benevolent?"

The teen glared – or so I thought. I wasn't looking.

"_No_, he's a very _unique_ individual." Arms crossed, he sat back in his seat. "Although he is a bit peculiar and does not like being called 'God'. He prefers—"

I saw them before I heard them. Spots of dark colors, a deep violet, trailing smoke at a speed beyond human capacity. Something only a biomechanical machine could produce.

"Fuckin—_get down_!"

The car spun and all three passengers immediately ducked down as gunfire tore through the roof of the black Sedan. It wasn't a gun, though. It was something worse.

"What the hell—Yuu?!"

"Akuma." I coughed. Gunpowder was strong in the air, and some of the upholstery was starting to catch fire from the sparks of metal hitting metal. "_Shit_. There aren't supposed to be any!"

Another round of gunfire silenced us. Nothing approached, but the blood-metal was still flying overhead.

"Don't touch that!" I barked. Robin withdrew his finger from the red stain on the inside of the car.

A bullet had fallen and dissolved back into blood, absorbed by the seats. The cars wouldn't be affected by the virus, thanks to the Science Department and their silly but useful inventions, but it was still deadly.

"Father! How much longer can it hold up?"

"No more than another 15 minutes, I'm afraid."

I recognized the second voice as 'Father' Frederico. In truth, he was actually a Finder who was permanently stationed in Roanapur. The first one however I had no idea as to who it belonged to – decidedly European, though. At first I thought the person was female.. but, for some reason, I couldn't believe that.

"Father?" Robin had decided to take a look over the shattered windows. "Father Frederico!"

"Ah, it's Robin."

"Robin? Shite--!" There was another set of gunshots of a different variety and Robin ducked back down. "Who's in that car—cor _blimey_, they're here?!"

More gun shots. Akuma bullets weren't raining over our heads this time, and the sound of the shots were the different. A face that was unmistakable Frederico's peeked over the edge of the Sedan.

"Robin. Sir Exorcists."

Robin grinned. "Father!"

"Yo, Freddy." Lavi raised a hand in greeting.

"Che." I sat up precariously, avoiding the glass on the seat and brushing shards from my hair. "_Why_ are there Akuma here?"

"Ah, well," the long-haired man coughed and made a humming sound. "That's quite a story. I shall inform you of it another time."

"We didn't come to do overtime, _Father_."

"Yuu!" Lavi's hand clapped over my mouth and I held back from biting it in childish retaliation. "Be nice!"

I scowled and shoved his hand away. "Don't _touch_ me."

"Well, long story short," Frederico began, and I ignored Lavi's affronted pout. "They got loose."

"..They?"

"_They_. That one," he gestured towards the ball structure being impaled by neon green rods from a single brown, black, and white speck in front of the church. How did Frederico manage to get here so quickly? "And a few dozen others."

"Dozen?" I raised an eyebrow skeptically. "How many are talking here?"

"Oh, I don't know.." Father ticked off some numbers on his hand. "..Well, when one says 'a couple' one usually means 4 to 6. Times 12 equals roughly 50 to 70 Akuma. Minus the handful we've already taken down last night means we still have work do."

And he _smiled_.

"What?!" Lavi sat up, eyes wide in shock. "How the _hell_ did you lose _70_ Akuma all at once?!"

"As I said, long story. We're rather pressed for time at the moment, in case you haven't noticed. What say we enter the chapel first?"

"Oh.. okay. Wait—ow!"

Idiot just realized his hand was on broken glass.

Faintly, I realized that _Mugen_ had finally stopped giving off those murderous vibes, and I knew that the biological weapon was destroyed.

"Father!"

I looked up and it was as though the world had stopped moving. At first I saw my mother – brown hair, brown eyes, surely you remember – then I saw that girl from years ago, when I was shot near death at Fairfield Hospital. They looked almost the same, the three of them. My mother, the girl, this person..

I almost mistook him for an Akuma, with that strange contraption on his arm – no, it _was_ his arm. It reminded me of Suman's hand. Almost like a machine, an Akuma in some aspect. And he was young, 14 or 15 at most. He didn't look like someone who belonged on the battlefield.

Time started up again, and the white gun-arm twisted and formed back into a dull red, wrinkled arm. He looked just like a normal child now. His eyes, though.. were the same as that girls'.

Cold, harsh, filled with the struggles of life. Eyes of a survivor.

"Father, are you alright?"

"We'll be fine, Allen."

"Brother Allen!"

Robin jumped out of the car with an excited grin. At the same time, _Mugen_ pulsed, giving off a malevolent aura. A response to an Akuma. But.. where was it?

"Yuu?" Lavi nudged my side with his elbow, still nursing his bleeding hand. "Who's 'Allen'?"

"Don't call me that," I snapped back automatically, pausing a moment to answer his question. "Dunno."

And as this Allen chatted animatedly with the white-haired brat, he began taking on a more childish image in my mind. First impressions did wonders, after all, even if they were just observations.

"Robin, go inside the church." Childish though he looked, he held an air of something akin to superiority, but it wasn't that. I could see respect in his eyes – _kaa-san_'s eyes – and hear the admiration in his voice as he spoke to the brat and Frederico. "Father, we'll have to repair those barriers. I don't quite like how much energy they have left."

The two headed off towards the majestic building that was a mere façade for the citizens, hiding secrets that lay underneath the very foundation of the holy landmark.

I could have come to like this person.

"And _you_ lot," he rounded on us, glaring pointedly. "_Why_ are you here so early? Is Leverrier planning something _again_?"

Or.. not.

Child my ass. Just another brat.

"_Whoa_, Al, chill _out_," Lavi laughed, holding his hands up in defense. "Take it out on Mr. Moustache, why don't ya?"

"Bloody _hell_, that Hitler incarnate doesn't _answer_!" Allen fumed, tugging at his hair with mismatched hands. "_Twat_* avoids my calls like Cross avoids debt collectors – and I don't even bring bad news!"

"Could've fooled me." I sniffed.

"Shut up," the brunette frowned, crossing his arms. "You two can leave now. Robin's not going back this time around."

This time? What did they do in that church, anyhow?

It made me curious, I had to admit.

"No can do, Allie," Lavi smiled, leaning out the open window. Bad idea. He pulled back with more cuts than he'd like. "Eheh.. anyway, there's Akuma here. We're not leaving 'til they're gone!"

"_No_, you're _leaving_." And the glare was back again. It wasn't one of disdain or disapproval. It wasn't haughty or arrogant. He wasn't looking down on us, nor did he pity us. The glare was filled to the brim and overflowing with pure dislike. Pure _hate_. "We don't need _Exorcists_ here."

"Then what are _you_?"

"Don't _ever_ lump me in the same category as the Black Order." Allen hissed lowly, jabbing a finger in my direction. I stared at it, offended, as his eyes flashed with deep, dark hatred. "I'd rather die than work for that hellhole."

The boneless rabbit had already shrunk away (or pretended to, at the very least), most likely frightened by the threatening tone in Allen's British accented tones. I, on the other hand…

I'd never met anyone with as much hatred as I had for any one thing. There were no words to describe what I was feeling, possibly because I didn't know myself what it was. It was no fluttering in of tightening of my chest, no butterflies in my stomach, no pounding headache, no pain that couldn't be readily explained.

His eyes were sharp, like knives almost, and I wondered exactly what he'd gone through to become like that. In my case, I had seen the loss of my parents (one at my own hands), I'd faced death numerous times and come out relatively unscathed.

Our pasts at the Black Order were no fairytale ending; no Cinderella story. We didn't have evil stepmothers or a jealous queen, no spiteful witch, no cursed beast. We had nothing of the supernatural – though, in many cases, it would appear that way – but it wasn't anything better, either.

Our pasts were black. Nothing could describe it any better than that. Dark, dirty, blinding, sightless, futureless – we all had our stories. And while I never actually cared to listen to anyone's.. this kid..

He was frightfully alluring.

That and he looked like my mother, which _really_ wasn't the best of combinations.

My mind slowly crawled to a stop, did a U-turn, and headed back a few thoughts.

"..You're not with the Order?" I blinked, and Lavi might've stared at me in shock. I was never caught off guard, truthfully. If I was, I'd hide it one way or another.

"Did I not say so _just_ now?" Allen huffed, kicking at the nearest tire. "Now _git_."

….Still didn't revise the image of '_BRAT_'.

"In case you're _blind_, this thing can't really move right now." I narrowed my eyes. "And there's _glass_ all over the seats, if you haven't noticed. _Brat_."

He smiled, but his eyebrow twitched. "You're pushing my patience; I do hope you're aware of that."

"_Fully_," I retorted, not returning the smile because I just didn't do things like that. I shot a glare at the remaining passenger of the now topless black Sedan. "Out, rabbit."

"Out? Where?"

"_Out_. Move your ass unless you want glass sprinkles on it."

"Dude, you just killed the cupcake, I swear." Lavi sighed, carefully sliding out of the passenger seat to avoid said glass sprinkles. "Harsh, Yuu. Harsh."

"Shut up. And you, brat-"

"I have a _name_, thank you. Do use it once in a while."

"I don't give a damn. Fucking _move_ so I can put this thing in reverse."

"Can't do while I'm standing here?" He smirked in challenge, crossing his arms and standing firmly where he was.

"Not if you want to get run over."

"Oh, are you _worried_? That's so sweet," That fake smile was starting to get on my non-existent nerves, and I gripped the wheel tightly. "Too bad I don't swing that way."

"And who said _I_ did?" I snarled, revving the engine and switching the gear to reverse. "I don't need murder on my record. Now _move_."

"Stuff it, minger*." He was leaning cautiously on the broken window now. Lavi had long since escaped to the safety of the church and, fortunately, wouldn't bear witness to the scene. "I guess you were telling the truth when you said you wouldn't die."

Oh. Right. Allen must've been that girl – _boy_ – from Fairfield. How long had it been? Four, five years? Time sure flew by rather quickly for my liking.

Wait. That meant that _he_ was the one who touched me!

"No shit, Sherlock." I scowled at him and the lack of distance between us (in my opinion, at least). "If I say I won't die, _I won't die_. Get it? Got it? Good. Out of the way, brat."

Allen flashed a hostile smile. "Parking lot is behind the church," he ground out, pointing back at the building with a wrinkled finger. "Stick her in a handicapped space and you get towed. Capiche? Capiche."

I remembered a sign from a ways back, somewhere near the entrance of the town.

Large, green, kind of dangling and worn down so much that I almost missed it. Lavi had to point it out and there was almost had a car accident from the last second lane changes.

_Welcome to Roanapur. Have a grand fucking ol' time._

I was pretty sure of what it would say on the equally worn back, if not on a whole other broken down sign.

_You're leaving Roana-fucking-pur. Don't come back._

"Get going. _Minger_." Another smile. Really starting to grate on my nerves now. Oh wait. I didn't have any. Never mind. "Unless you need the tow right now."

"The only one who needs a tow is _you_." I hissed, shoving him away and turning the car around. "_Church boy_."

"What the bloody hell is your problem?!" The brunette snapped, stumbling back a few steps to avoid getting run over.

"_You_. You and this whole _fucking_ world, that's what!"

I never thought I'd live to see the day when someone would have enough guts to do what this kid did. His hand had grabbed a fistful of my coat and he was standing dangerously close, especially when the car was on and I could've driven off at any second.

I could almost count every individual lash framing his eyes – and apparently they weren't as brown as I thought they were, but more of a dark shimmering gold.

Hypnotizing, in a way.

"Listen, jerk," We glared at each other, neither giving up, neither backing down. "No one here fancies you damn Exorcists anymore. Whatever you're here for, get in, get it done, get out. Do us all a favor and never come back."

_Anymore?_

"I don't plan to, brat." Uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. "Ever heard of _personal space_? Because you need to back the fuck off. _Now_."

Gutsy was one way to describe Allen. Maybe it was because he didn't know that I really wouldn't hesitate to decapitate him if I had the chance. Or maybe he just didn't give a damn.

Of course, finding a gutsy person usually wasn't that hard. I mean, the whole of the Black Order consisted of idiots giving up their lives and futures to saving this damn planet. But none of them actually had the gall to go up and _fight_.

It was dangerous enough where they were - like sitting ducks, waiting for the Earl to unleash his little pets on our headquarters.

Linali had courage. Lavi had courage. The rabbit had, after all, traveled the world to record history. World War III* was probably the turning point of his life _and_ ours.

Kidding. That thing still hadn't ended yet. Still, that didn't change the fact that it affected our lives.

It was the reason why we were here in the first place.

"Make me, wanker."

I was just about ready to make him and his goddamned smirk a permanent hood ornament.. or another bloody addition to the asphalt.

"My fucking pleasure."

But before I could even turn the wheel, something happened. I barely had time to react as the ground cracked and a black blur shot through the underside of the passenger seat. And just when I thought it would end there, the car lifted and started tilting to the side.

Whatever it was, my first priority was _Mugen_. Once I had my sword firmly in my hand, the seatbelt was decimated and the car turned fully over.

Thankfully enough, the hood was already gone, so when the Akuma hefted the car up, I wasn't trapped inside. That would've been a disaster.

But. Wait.

Since when did Akuma have arms..?

"Shite, it's a Level 2!"

I would have retorted with something probably redundant, but there was no time.

The detached hood narrowly missed us. The Level 2 moved much faster than its lower level counterparts and before I even realized it, we were backed up against the brick wall of a liquor store.

_Wonderful._

The world stopped moving again, the car was in its hand, headed towards us, and I could have dodged in time – I should've, considering the fact that I never cared much about saving my allies.

_Move, dammit_.

I always told myself.. only the Akuma. They had to be saved before anyone else.

_Fuckin—Move!_

My hand twitched. The vehicle was still heading towards us. He was right behind me and I could sense the shock slowly emanating from his childish form.

_Move, move, move, move--_

I could hear his breaths, quick and shallow, echoing in my mind, and I turned to run, to get out of the way, but—

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. And he was looking at me. Not the car. He had that same look in his eyes – hate. Like he was expecting to be left there. And frankly, I couldn't care less if he died. He was just a brat, just another orphan, another kid on the street, living in a church.

_Move._

But his eyes, his hair, his face—

_Kaa-san's eyes. Her hair. Her face._

_Why. Why does he have to look so much like her. She's dead she's fucking __**dead**__ I fucking __**killed her**__ so why, why, why do you look like her. Why why why why why why why why why why __**why**__—_

In the instant that I could have saved myself, I wasted it trying to reason with my mind.

I could smell the Akuma blood on the leather now. The tinkling of glass hitting the concrete was loud. The keys were still in the ignition and dangled tauntingly. It was too close for comfort. Too close to evade.

There was no time to decide.

_**Move!**_

**

* * *

**

**Roanapur**: Copyrighted to Black Lagoon. It's a fictional city.

**Twat**: In case we have a lack of teh British, this is an insult.

**Minger**: British vocab for 'ugly'. Yeah. Allen called Kanda ugly. Twice. Or was it three?

Frederico is not an OC. He is in the manga. I just pulled him out and plunked him into another church.

Robin is not an OC. He is in Hoshino's debut manga _Zone_ and is the character upon which Allen was based off of.

Lavi refers to Robin as Batman, because of the obvious Batman and Robin thing, and as 'Hood' because of Robin Hood.

The 'Blowout back in 2000', as Kanda puts it, and 'WWIII' are two separate things that are linked to one another and _will_ be explained. later.

I say this once again; the narration kinda jumps all over the place because 1) it's Kanda for goodness sakes, 2) it's Kanda's _thoughts_ and thought processes aren't always one-way, and 3) I'm still working on making things flow because writing essays and making the paragraphs flow is something I still fail at OTL. This is like practice for me. 8'D

Review, crits, compliments, anything! I apologize again for the late update!


	8. Experiment 7: The Living Dead

It's an update! I bring you chapter 7 of _Experimental, Irreplaceable_!

This chapter is muchos thanks to **the27** for another arranged let's-update-our-fics-at-the-same-time event, albeit a little late because of her vacationing to Palm Springs (or wherever it was she went |D). Go read **Stray**, like, _nao_.

So, so, so, the recent chapters (like, say, ~182-185), were spectacularly wonderful, wouldn't you agree?

KANDA. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WHY.

WHY.

**Warnings:** Cursing. Much cursing. And spunky!Allen, yet again. Disjointed writing, partly my fault, partly because of idiotic Kanda.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D(.)Gray-man, as much as I want to.

A shout-out to all those who review and watch this fic~

On another note, I'm stuck on the next chapter for this story, so don't expect an update too quickly. I'll be working on _The Final Stage: Scenario 14_ because I seriously need to update it soon, and also, **Yullen Week** is coming up! More info on my profile, so go take a gander.

And so, without further ado, I present to some nonsense and blasphemy known as chapter 7.

_**

* * *

**_

_**The Living Dead**_

* * *

Tired.

Tired, sore, hurting everywhere, and—

_Ow. Glass in back does not make a nice evening._

Breathing. Rushed, shallow, quick. Someone coughed.

_Ugh._ Lungs hurt too. And that… was definitely blood in my mouth.

Figures.

The bar above ground had long since emptied, residents exiting through the back door and descending into Akuma-proof basements fortified with the Order's talismans. That was a good thing to know.

"Oi. Are you dead?"

"Shut up." I hissed, spitting blood out to the side.

_Fuck. My head hurts._

I blinked.

_Wait a minute—_

The voice came from… underneath. And I was suddenly aware of the warmth against my neck (awkward, but.. pleasant, in a way) and exactly how much my back was hurting. And.. oh, right, that was my cough earlier. My chest felt like it was run through by a pole, which it obviously wasn't.

_Where the hell am I again..?_

"Sure you're not dead?"

"I'm not dead. Shut up."

"You look dead to me."

This time, I managed to crack one a blood-crusted eye and glared as well as I could. My vision was blurred at the edges and somewhat hazy, not to mention dim, but I could still see him. Or at least, I could see his face. I was too close to actually see anything else without moving my head.

"Che."

I couldn't say much more. Blood had decided to collect in my mouth and I almost choked on it. Metallic, warm, with a bitter hint that was undeniably from the Akuma virus.

I hated that taste.

It made me feel as though I _was_ an Akuma. No human being could survive being infected by the virus, after all.

_Hah.. That's right. I'm __**not**__ human._

"..Does it hurt?"

"What kind of question is that?" I scoffed, immediately regretting it. My lungs burned, as did my chest, and – now that I thought about it – my hands and knees were starting to get sore as well. "Of course it fucking hurts."

Not like I could do anything about it. Too much debris had piled onto my back and only pushed the glass in deeper. Stupid thing was stopping the wound in my back from healing and I was still losing blood. If I didn't find a way to get it out, it would take a lot longer to heal.

And considering the bruises, cuts, fractures, and the miscellaneous other injuries I had, I wasn't going to be ready to fight any time soon.

"It was just a question, jeez."

It was quiet after that, save for my coughs and raspy breaths. I kept my eyes half-shut – it took too much energy to open them and I was tired. There wasn't much to look at, anyway.

Allen yawned, turning his head to the side and covering his mouth in a polite gesture with his wrinkled red hand. A soft murmur passed through and I blinked, almost mistaking it for a sigh.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied flippantly, shifting his position on the ground. "This is merely a highly uncomfortable situation you've landed us in."

I scowled. "How is this _my_ fault?"

"It just is," Allen countered, crossing his arms (not without difficulty, considering the space – or lack therefore of – we had to work with). He might've been pouting – my vision had started hazing over again – if I were actually paying attention. "If you hadn't shown up, this wouldn't have happened in the first place!"

"Well, tough luck, Brit. I'm here, it happened, voila. Shut up and deal with it."

I found that if I moved the placement of my hands a little farther from his head, it relieved some of the strain on my arms and lungs. The rock, and that shitty piece of glass, was still pressing down, however.

Unless someone decided to come look for us, we would have to wait until my wounds closed up before we could leave.

"Hey," He looked up, confused, in a somewhat… _endearing_ manner. "..Why did you save me..?"

A droplet of blood splattered onto his cheek, running down the side and leaving a trail of red like a scar. I tilted my head so that the liquid would run down my neck instead of falling onto his face. He didn't have any visible cuts, so the virus in _my_ blood wouldn't get into his.. but it was better safe than sorry.

"Che. Unless you can survive getting hit by a car, stop complaining." Why _did_ I save him? "Just doing my job, brat."

"I thought your job was to kill Akuma." Well, yeah, it was that, too. "What else is on the contract? Running over little kids?"

"Protecting civilians, idiot."

"You tried to _kill_ me." He fell silent, but only for a short moment, and then his eyebrow rose. "I'm a _civilian_?"

"You're not an enemy. You're not with the Order. You're not an ally. That makes you a _civilian_."

Allen huffed, almost offended by that fact.

"Why are we still here, anyway?"

"Because we can't get out, stupid."

He frowned. "_Why_?"

"Gee, I don't fucking know, maybe because I kind of _can't move_?" I hissed, wincing when the glass dug deeper next to my shoulder blade. Why the thing hadn't snapped off yet was beyond me. "_Smart ass_."

He rolled his eyes and raised a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear. It was useless, though, because it managed to un-tuck itself and joined the rest of his hair, splayed out on the cement floor of the liquor store's basement.

"Then could you hurry up and heal faster? It's cold down here."

No shit.

"If you're that impatient, get yourself out. Your arm's a gun. Fucking just use that."

"There's not enough room, genius."

"My point exactly." I glared, suppressing a cough as blood started entering my lungs. "You can't do jack shit. Stop talking and wasting the oxygen."

And, surprisingly, he listened and did just that (with an annoyed pout, but still).

Why, dammit, _why_ weren't my lungs healing? Granted, I still had numerous other wounds, but healed lungs would make it a heck of a lot easier.

And then the glass went deeper and I knew why.

Fucking thing was stuck in my lungs.

I could tolerate getting my joints blown out, getting shot in the head, crushed arm, fractured ribs, the virus – I could handle those. Pain usually wasn't a factor. I felt it, sure, but it was never enough for an open complaint.

This was different. It didn't just hurt - because it _did_.

My lungs were filling with blood instead of air, creating gurgling sounds deep in my throat as I strained to stay calm.

Easier said than done.

Allen was frowning, like he had something to say but wasn't sure whether or not he should ask.

A cough sent a spray of red liquid onto his church robes like a paintbrush onto canvas – lovely – but he didn't seem to care about that.

I could barely breathe now, a sense of despair caulking up the remaining areas of my lungs that hadn't been pierced, and I continued my coughs and shaky breaths, one hand futilely muffling the hacking sounds.

Despair, fear, and dread – that I might die down here, even though I knew I couldn't. It was an instinct, one that should've kicked in earlier before the car decided to say hello in an extremely painful way.

Tears stung at the corners of my eyes and I blinked them away, coughing harshly into my hand. The pile of asphalt and concrete was getting heavier and harder to keep up.

"Are you dying yet?"

"_No_."

Brown eyes narrowed. "Sounds like you are."

Lack of oxygen was affecting my brain, I knew that, and I refused to hallucinate. I was looking at that girl again but—

_She's not a girl—_

--And then Allen replaced her, shaking my shoulders with furrowed brows.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're bloody pale!"

_"Yuu-kun? Are you sick? You look pale…"_

What? No, no, no no no, _no_—

"Prick, listen to me—"

_"Yuu-kun, you shouldn't ignore us."_

Warm hands, one soft and the other wrinkled, pressed against the front of my chest tentatively but purposefully.

"What are you _doing_?!"

"If you're not going to tell me what's wrong, I'll find out myself."

"Don't fucking _touch me_--!"

Rubble and glass moved, the latter scraping painfully against a rib. This was so familiar, the situation, something I had experienced before, this loss of breath, lack of air, bleeding, healing, all at the same time—

The sensation of _dying._

_

* * *

_

_"Yuu-kun."_

_Kaa-san is an Akuma. A monster. Monster. Monster._

_Akuma. Akuma._

_"Please, your father and I loved you very much. We were both Akuma, and it was inevitable that we would die soon. Yuu-kun…"_

_Liar, liar. Father isn't.. never was… _

_"Please kill me, Yuu. Let me join your father in the after world."_

_Why, why me? Why can't you just kill yourself, why let your son kill you, why, __**why**__?_

_Don't leave me._

_"Kill me, Yuu-kun."_

_No, no, __**no**__, don't leave, I don't want you to go—_

_**Why**__?_

_"Because.."_

_Because, because, excuses, __**excuses**__—_

_Father. Is that why? You want to be with father more than me…_

_**Selfish**__._

_"Because… I.."_

* * *

"..am _not_ taking responsibility for this if you keel over, you hear?"

_Why is kaa-san here—?_

_I killed her, I fucking killed her—_

"Jerk, just tell me what's killing you!"

_No, no, you should be dead, you're dead—why are you here, you're dead, I killed you why aren't you __**dead**__—_

"It's in your back, isn't it? Jesus Christ, it'd help if you just _told_ me – hey, are you even listening?"

_Don't touch me, get your hands __**off—**__stop touching me—_

Glass jarred and tugged, sending shocks of pain through my lungs, my chest, and up my spine, digging a path back into reality where I was aware of a pair of arms encircling my torso, almost like an embrace, and—

_**No**__, stop, __**stop**__, you little—don't do that, don't __**touch me**__—_

"Is this the problem?" The glass moved again and another flash of white clawed into my vision. "Idiot, y could seriously die with this!"

Muffled speech, genuinely alarmed and worried, sounded so much like _kaa-san_ – too much, too familiar. Brown hair cropped short - too short to be _kaa-san_'s but the same shade and briefly, I wondered if the texture was the same as well.

The world swirled and shook as more blood smattered onto the concrete. A blur of muddy chocolate pressed next to my head, the object lodged in my back shifted and I hissed in pain and disapproval.

_Don't __**touch me**__—_

Fuck. Where was _Mugen_ when I needed it most?

"Deal with it, jerk."

Annoyed and angry but not harsh, surprisingly calm and gentle this time—

_No._

"I'm pulling it out."

Hot air blew down my neck in an entirely uncomfortable way – reminded me of _kaa-san_'s soft humming in my hair on a warm summer night. An eerie tune that didn't fit at all – a sensation that was completely foreign and wrong – yet felt so _right_ at the same time.

_No. Get away from me, stay away, __**stop**__—_

"Stay still!"

_"Don't struggle so much, Yuu-kun. You'll hurt yourself."_

_Let go, let go, let go—_

At that moment, the ground was gone, the pressure was lifted, and I was no longer in the basement of a liquor store in Roanapur. I wasn't buried under a pile of rubble with a brat. It wasn't nearing the half century mark of the 21st century.

It was Japan.

I couldn't breathe – again. But it wasn't a shard of glass this time. It was a hand.

_Kaa-san_'s hand.

Her nails were digging into my neck just like they did all those years ago, cutting off my air supply as the skin of her face dried and cracked, sloughing off into a muddy pile. Underneath that mess was a shell, dark in color and giving off an atrocious odor.

Wires peeked out from underneath the layer of diseased flesh, connected to fleshy gears, further connected to pulsating tubes containing some unknown liquid that seeped through the walls, dripping steadily on the wooden patio.

Her other hand was raised, tightly holding onto a black dagger.

Or so I thought.

After all, daggers didn't have eyes, right? Daggers didn't have teeth, didn't snarl or growl, didn't hiss or screech—

All I could remember was a dagger.

"Almost got it—"

_"It'll be over soon, Yuu-kun."_

I watched the blade descend for the second time in my life, unable to do anything, tears of betrayal leaving cool trails on my cheeks.

I should say I was stabbed, but it really wasn't that at all, now that I had the chance to experience it again. It was sharp, yes, and it hurt – that much was a given. But it was the wrong sensation.

It wasn't a single puncture like one would think, and the pain wasn't as acute as it should've been. There was the initial cut, piercing skin and flesh, and it widened as the blade sunk deeper.

But then, it bit down and tore at my chest, tearing with too much ease and spraying blood into the air. In the still of the silence, I heard my own childish screams of pain and agony, crying, sobbing, trying to break free, but it was no use.

For a good 2 minutes I thought I was dead, because that's what I should've been. Had _kaa-san_ been holding an actual dagger and had we not been living in an era of the Millennium Earl, I would've died.

But she wasn't holding a dagger and the Millennium Earl hadn't died yet.

So I didn't die.

I was supposed to wake up on a blood-stained patio, _Mugen_ pulsing angrily above my head as I reached for it in desperation. I was supposed to kill _kaa-san_.

Dust and grime, blood and sweat – literally – and the air was heavy with tension, relief, and the soft sound of blood hitting the ground.

"Wasn't that bad after all, was it?"

The embrace loosened and as the pair of hands retracted to their owner, I saw it. A glint in the dim light, a sparkle of glass, a glint of steel, of that black dagger, and the fear was back.

_"See, Yuu-kun? Just like kaa-san told you.. it's not that bad.."_

_Kaa-san_ killed me.

_I have to kill her._

"Hey – what're you--?!"

One hand closed around the blade-like piece of glass, the other around the pale column of neck. There was little room to maneuver and even less for raising an arm. The sharp edges cut into my palm, drawing fresh blood that only fueled my hallucinations.

I was hyperventilating, that much I could tell. Too much oxygen, too little carbon dioxide, my mind swam with images of the past.

_"Kill me, Yuu-kun."_

There was too much similarity between myself and this boy.

There were no tears – he wasn't as much of a child as I was – but those harsh golden eyes spoke volumes.

_I helped you._

The neck in my grip struggled for breath, trying to pry away the hand clamping down on it, even as the the glass hovered menacingly above him.

_Betrayal._

_"Kill me."_

Drip. Drip.

Labored breathing, strained and heavy, penetrated the silence and the pattern of falling liquid. Pupils dilated in the low light, staring silently at nothing, as crimson droplets continued falling from my hand, still clutching the chunk of glass.

_"Because.. I may end up killing you."_

Slowly my vision cleared and the pain in my hand, my pack, my arm – everything, it was all registering in my mind again. Nails dug into my skin, threatening to pierce it through the sleeve.

A raspy voice broke the illusion, dragging my mind back into reality where Allen Walker looked ready to kill.

"Hey," He hissed, swallowing with difficulty past the hold on his throat. "_Jackarse_."

Once a brat, always a brat.

"Either kill me or let go."

* * *

Kill me. Kill me.

Kill. Kill.

_Why? Why, why, __**why**__, why does everyone—_

_Why—_

"..Are you going to kill me or not?"

I glared down at him.

_Why did everyone want to __**die**__?_

All those people out there, civilians, children, adult, men, women, all of them – _they_ didn't want to die. Those _people_ in Roanapur, _they_ wouldn't accept death as easily as _these_ people did. Wasn't survival a basic instinct? Of animals, humans, and all things living, didn't we all want to live?

Why do we at the Black Order sacrifice ourselves?

…Didn't any of us have anything to live for?

Teeth gritting, I swallowed a mouthful of coppery liquid. The scent of blood hung in the air, wafting up from the pool of crimson on the ground, from the blood in my throat, from the cuts on my hand, and I cursed.

Glass shattered as I tossed it aside.

"Che."

Where the hell is _Mugen._

"Splendid!" Sarcastic brat. "Now get your hand off my neck and we can kiss and make up."

Scowling, I let go and sat back as much as I could, what with the now relatively stable pile of rubble still around us. As long as it wasn't going to fall down anytime soon, we'd be fine.

But it was getting stuffy.

Allen stared expectantly and I frowned.

"..You weren't serious about the kiss, were you?"

He blinked.

And rolled onto his side. Laughing.

…At me.

_Apparently not._

Despite that, I couldn't find it in myself to be angry at him. Didn't mean I couldn't pretend to be, though.

I guess he deserved some kind of entertainment after what he'd been through (whatever it was).

After a few seconds, it dwindled down to a chuckling and a seemingly content smile, directed more at nothing than the wall of debris he was facing.

"..The hell are you smiling about." I groused, irritated now that the laughter had stopped.

"You," He snickered, still grinning childishly. "_You_ are entirely amusing."

"…Che."

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Wait." He sat up, leaning back against the rubble. "How'd you know I was smiling?"

"I can see you, dumbass."

A perplexed look crossed his face and he glanced around, frowning discreetly, and threw a wary gaze in my direction.

"..In the dark?"

"It's dark?"

Funny. It was a little dim, but not _that_ dark. Then again, there was no place for the light to come from.

"Huh. I can see in the dark," For the most part, at least. "So what?"

Allen rolled his eyes, pausing and glaring when he realized that I might've seen it (and I did). "That's not _normal_. Humans can't see in the dark!"

I scoffed.

_Humans. I figured as much._

"I'm not human."

He had on a peculiar expression, curious, as though he were studying the details of my face (if he were able to see me, at least – could he?) in a rather intensive and absorbed manner. His eyes trailed down to my chest, narrowing slightly in thought.

I didn't say anything. At least, not until his dull gold orbs darted lower.

"_What_?"

His stare snapped back up to my face and and he looked away, shrugging, contemplative and deep in thought. I found myself wondering why I was paying so much attention to this kid and what he was doing.

"I was just thinking." Obviously. "Lala might be right."

Lala? "Who?"

"You've forgotten? _Lala_, Lala, the singing thing from – how long ago was it?"

Oh. _Oh_. Her. It. _That_ Lala. "Five years."

"Who's keeping track?" My expression must've no longer looked confused because Allen continued talking. "Just thought she might be right. Maybe you _are_ like.. _us_."

_Us?_

"Who's 'us'?"

"Us, y'know." Allen waved vaguely in my general direction, looking off to the side. "_Us_. The Church, Robin, me, Lala-"

"What, _freaks_?"

"That's rather _rude_," he frowned, sitting up straighter and jabbing a finger at my chest. "You don't see me calling you a freak just because you can't die, so don't go calling _us_ freaks just because we're a little different."

_A little?_

I scowled and batted the hand away. "I'll call you whatever the fuck I want, brat."

_I'm not a __**freak**__ just because I'm not human – no, wait, that actually makes a lot of sense._

"Do you even _know_ my name?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just asking, since it seems you can't say it at all."

"Who said I can't?"

It wasn't like I was incompetent or anything.

"Why don't you?"

"Because I don't _want _to, perhaps?"

"It's not that hard," he pouted, leaning forward a bit. Thank god there was a least a few feet of space between us. "It's only two syllables. I don't have to teach you how to pronounce it, do I?"

"Shut up."

"I know you can see me." He grinned. "Al-len. Say it with me!"

"_No_."

"Why not?"

"Just because."

Because if I did, it would imply that we had some kind of relation, which wasn't true. I knew nothing about Allen and he in turn knew nothing about me – and even if he did, I still wouldn't do it.

I didn't need relationships aside from business. I didn't need acquaintances and friends in a world like this, where anyone could die the next day, the next hour, the next minute, next second – a world where everything could fall apart with just one wrong step or decision. This war was like a game of chess.

But the pieces were not pieces of plastic; they were indispensible lives, human or otherwise.

Plastic, perhaps, but fragile. Making ties with any of those pieces would only drag me down when they were taken off the board.

I didn't want to be dragged down.

I didn't want to drag others down.

So I kept everyone at bay.

Everyone would hate me, and I would hate everyone.

I was going to leave Roanapur and never come back, never see this kid again. This was to be the only time we ever saw each other.

"Jerk."

"Right back at you, Brit."

That was how it was _supposed_ to be.

_

* * *

_

_This chapter is, as of yet, un-beta'd_


	9. Experiment 8: In retrospective

OH MY GOD I AM SO NOT DEAD. SOB I'M SO SORRY.

..See, I got caught up with roleplaying again on livejournal. I picked up this semi-AU Fourteenth that I just LOVE LOVE LOOOOVVEEE to pieces (he's also being shipped with a 16-17 year old Lavi by both players.. as well as other rpers sob, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY) and, well.. yeah.

I was also trying to work on my entry for DGM Big Bang, but my first two tries flopped before they even made it to the computer. I do have one that I'm for sure going to enter, even though it's a lot of speculation. ;w; Damn you, lack of canon.

Finally got around to writing chapter 8 and typing it up. Now if only I could get a beta...

**Warning:** Oh yeah, gore. Yesssss. Mushed brains and heads rolling. Don't like? Don't read.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM. I would love to have at least an inkling of Hoshino's art skills, though I could live without her weird way of counting. Fourteenth died 20 years before Allen was born—really, Hoshino? What? I don't understand yoooouuuu. DDDD:

ANYWAY, I'm back, and I love you all, especially those of you who alerted and fav'd this fic even though it hasn't been updated in a fucking long time. But, hey! It's being updated now!

…Enjoy! :'D

_**

* * *

**_

_**In Retrospective**_

* * *

Jolting of the stretcher being wheeled through the halls of the Black Order's headquarters, loud clamoring of voices, of people both familiar and unfamiliar—

_This wouldn't be the first time. It'll never be the last._

"Your orders, sir?"

"Someone—find a match for blood transfusion!"

"Sorry, sir. You already know we don't got a match for him."

"God—_dammit_. We can't just leave him like this."

"Sir—"

"The—the reports. Reever, get the reports from my office."

"Aye aye, Chief."

Hazy. Everything was so hazy, like a sheet had been placed over all of my senses. Muffled, muted, and numb.

"Matron, I… my apologies, but regular hospital treatments won't be benefitting him as he is. I'm sorry. I ask that you leave this to the Science Department."

The aged woman would usually protest this, that injured patients were her duty to take care of, but she didn't.

"Are you sure, Chief Supervisor?"

"Positive. Johnny—quiet dawdling and get the tools."

"The nurses will be assisting, then."

"Thank you, Matron. Tapp—_Tapp_, get over here!"

Sounds. Loud sounds. Ringing, echoing repeatedly.

_Cold. So cold._

"Seems like an attack got too close to 'it', Chief."

"Left lung, they said. Are those scans developed yet?"

"Here, Chief."

"Thanks, Johnny. Left lung it is. Definitely too close to 'it'. I don't see any damage to 'it', though, so it's nothing too bad.. Where's Reever?"

"Files, Chief. He's getting the files."

"Ah.. right. Didi, get an IV. You know what we need."

"Gotcha."

The needle went into my arm, held in place with tape and bandages. Within a few seconds, the cool rush of saline solution and other minerals reached every inch of my limbs. I was low on blood, but the IV was helping to replenish some of those lost nutrients.

"Hang in there, Kanda. You'll make it. You have to."

_Of course. Something like myself can't die this easily, Komui, you idiot. You should know that by now._

"We're waiting for you. All of us."

_"Get a hold of yourself, fucking rabbit. They're waiting for you back at the Order."_

_"…What about Yuu?"_

_"Me? I don't give a shit whether you live or die. But you better stay alive, or I'll have more work to do."_

"Chief, it's Inspector Leverrier. He wants to have a word with Kanda."

_Jackass._

"What—no! Kanda is in no condition to be speaking. Turn him away, tell him we're busy."

"Section Chief Reever is also back, and Inspector Leverrier is demanding entry, Chief Supervisor."

"Let Reever in. Keep Leverrier _out_."

Muffled footsteps. I watched from the corner of my eye, Reever approaching and handing a stack of papers in a folder to Komui, Komui looking through them, 'tsk'ing here and there, before setting them aside.

"Damage report, Tapp."

"We got about half a dozen broken ribs, a pierced lung—also infected, just so you know –mild concussion, some minor cuts and bruises—and I'd say his shoulders will be outta commission for a while, especially if we don't set 'em back right."

"He's lost a lot of blood, too. Past files say any type of blood will work.. but only in small quantities. We've never tested blood transfusions on him before."

"..I saw we go for it, Chief. It's the only choice we have."

Silence, save for the equipment in the background, Leverrier's infuriated tones, and my own harsh breathing. The ceiling was an odd shade of white today. Off-white, if you must.

Someone was looking. Not everyone understood why anesthetics weren't used on something like myself. The fact that I was still awake and conscious must've been a strange sight, especially to men who were scientists and weren't suppose to be messing around with live specimens in the first place.

"..You're right. We'll take the chance."

Gloves snapped on, masks strapped in place, and a clatter of stainless steel instruments being laid out rang loudly over the beeping of the monitor.

"We're sorry about this, Kanda."

_Don't be. I don't need sympathy. You do your job, I do mine._

"We'll save you."

…

"That's your cue to pass him the scalpel, Didi."

* * *

Not one, not two, but _three_—

Three people had been wheeled into the Order's emergency room. _Three_.

Only _two_ Exorcists were sent out, so why did _three_ people come back?

"I said I'm fine. I don't need your blood inspections!"

"_Nonsense_, young man. As a patient in his hospital, I suggest you return your bed or—"

"'Or else'? Or else what? You'll strap me down so you can poke around as you wish? Fat chance!"

Linali paused, shocked at the irritated tones and accusations, how familiar they sounded. Like that child from almost 10 years ago.

_That child._

"That red guy needs more care than I do."

"Mister Lavi already has doctors operating, as does Mister Kanda. You are the only one left."

She walked faster, nearing the infirmary with the intent of checking up on Lavi and Kanda and see how they were doing—except, now, after hearing that they were still being operated on, she wanted to know how this.. boy.. was doing.

Only when she was standing right outside the large double doors did she realize just _how_ loud they were being.

"No—don't touch me. Don't _do_ that—"

"We won't hurt you."

"Bloody Hell you won't! Let me out, I'm fine, I don't need to stay here!"

A touch on her shoulder, cold and firm, made her job slightly. She looked up in shock at the stern features of Malcom C. Leverrier.

"Let's see what the fuss is about, shall we?"

He rapped on the door and was greeted by the frown of a nurse.

"I-Inspector, I.. I'm sorry, but the Chief Supervisor said you're not allowed in the infirmary until operations are complete."

"I am escorting Linali Li. That's acceptable, is it not?"

"..Well, I—"

And just like that, she was used as an excuse to 'visit' this troublemaker.

Young. So young, too young—but he wasn't a fighter, was it? Just an injured civilian, not one of those destined to die for the world, to save humankind from death by parasites..

…Right?

".._You_!"

Furious amber eyes (..eye, seeing as one was covered in bandages), smoldering in anger as the child rounded on Leverrier.

"You, you blood _twat_—would it _kill you_ to answer at least _one of my calls_?!"

"My apologies, but I _do_ have a job to do." Leverrier replied, his tone flat and his features just barely calm. "The nurses, too, have to do their jobs. Why not be a good boy and let them take care of you, Allen?"

"As if. I want out, _now_."

"What makes you think we'll allow you to walk out so easily?"

"You didn't want me here before, I'll show _myself_ out."

They glared at each other, both unyielding and standing their ground. One cold and demanding, the other fierce and stubborn. Linali only stayed silent—there was no room for her to get a word in.

Who was he, this 'Allen'? That child, he.. he reminded her of a boy she had seen years ago, back when Kanda wasn't so much of a cold soldier and still had short hair (she remembered making some sort of promise with him to see who could grow their hair longer, though she had forgotten what the reason was, by now). The boy that was taken down into some secret basement and… and..

..But he died, didn't he? Lavi said so, and Kanda believed it. How was he still alive? And where had he been for the past 10 years? How had he survived? There were so many questions surrounding him, so many things she wanted to know—because, even though she had never really _spoken_ to him when he was a young child of 5, she had always known that Kanda was close to him.

Close enough that the older male would allow someone into his personal training spot and actually train with him.

"You won't leave, Allen. Not when we have something you want."

A muddy brown eye narrowed, calculating and skeptical.

"Or perhaps I should say.." And Leverrier _smiled_, forced and with an underlying hint of anger. "..Some_one_ you want."

Allen visibly froze.

"..I'm sorry. I've no idea what you mean."

"Oh, but you _do_ know, Allen. And unless you stay here, you won't have another chance to, ah.. _catch up_ with him."

At this, Allen made a short cynical chuckle.

"Really? How much longer do you think you can keep him, Leverrier?"

It was the Inspector's turn to be confused, though he didn't show it much.

"You messed up, didn't you? He arrived fine and dandy, ready to be molded into your 'perfect soldier'—and you thought you succeeded. But you didn't do it right. You screwed up. He still remembers them."

"Remembers _what_?"

"His mother. His father. His _parents_."

Leverrier barked a laugh at that, turning on his heel and heading for the door. Linali stayed where she was, closer to the boy than the door. It seemed that they had forgotten her, hands clasped in front of her and twitching slightly. But she didn't mind.

"Don't be ridiculous, Allen."

She had nothing to contribute to the conversation, anyway.

"You and I both know that the being known as Yuu Kanda has no such thing as 'parents'."

_"You can just blame Leverrier for that."_

* * *

No parents.

Somehow, he'd known this. He'd known this even though the only words shared between them were harsh insults and rash taunts. He knew, ever since he saw how fast the other could heal, that there was something about him.. something that drew them closer to each other.

He hadn't known exactly what it was back then, but he knew that they were alike, that they were the same in a way.

The fact that neither of them ever mentioned their parents—him because he never really knew his. He didn't know how they died, where they were, how they were doing.. nothing. He thought the other boy was the same; just another orphan, abandoned at a young age.

It had never crossed Allen's mind that Kanda may not have any parents whatsoever. He had always thought that the boy was just shy and didn't like talking about his family, kind of like himself. But now he knew, and his suspicions were relatively confirmed.

But the real question was..

…_Does Kanda know?_

* * *

"You remind me of someone I know."

Allen paused for a moment, glancing in my direction before firing at the Level 2. I leapt to avoid another blow from the Akuma, shifting _Mugen_ in my hands to prepare for a lunge.

After blasting our way out of that pile of rubble, lack of room be damned, I had found _Mugen_ buried under some more debris. We had no chance to relax before the Level 2 shape-shifting biomechanical weapon showed up—it seemed to be enjoying taking on reverse forms of people we knew.

"Funny. I thought we'd all deduced that I was the 'girl' from Fairfield and the one who left the documents at Auschwitz."

"And the brat from 10 years ago."

"_And_ the brat from— I'm not a brat, you twit!" Another pause, then he continued in a slightly lower tone. "..it's been 10 years already, huh?"

"10 years since I last kicked your ass."

"You never kicked my arse, not even once."

The white arm gun turned in my direction, aimed just above my head, and I ducked, darting to the side as Allen opened fire on the Akuma again. Being an evolved Akuma, it was harder to kill than a battalion of Level 1s.

The wound in my back had opened up again somewhere along the way, dampening my uniform and making it stick to my skin. It would be a bitch to take off later, that was obvious. Not to mention my pierced lungs had only just barely finished healing, and all this strenuous movement was aggravating it—I wouldn't be surprised if _that_ wound opened up again, too.

"Che."

Sidestepping one bullet, deflecting another other. Imitations of Allen's arm. The rods stuck out of the ground instead of dissolving into a puddle of blood. Obstacles. Maneuvering around then would be easy enough, except I had accidentally backed up into one. Now I had another hole in my shoulder that would take a few days to heal.

"So, what's this about my looking like someone you know?"

Allen, on the other hand, didn't seem to be having any problems, clambering around on the rods like a monkey on.. monkey bars—or whatever they called them back then.

"..My mother. You look like her."

I didn't know why I was telling him. It wasn't a subject I touched upon very often, nor was it a comfortable one. Especially when it concerned _kaa-san_.

Another bullet grazed my cheek, crashing through the tower of rods behind me. Allen cursed as his foothold fell, stumbling down onto relatively stable and dry land. The Akuma charged, enraged and roaring in pain and agony.

It was easy enough just to brace myself against the ground and thrust _Mugen_ forward and impale the flesh-metal body. Blood and oil leaked from the cracked shell and onto my hands. The smell was horrible—decaying flesh, rusty gears of flesh, tubes for nerves, muscle fibers bundled like cable wires…

..A clock that should've stopped ticking long ago.

I slashed down, cutting all the way through, unblinking at the blood oil spraying in my face. Granted, I knew it was a bad idea to let myself be exposed to the infected blood for long.

From the first time since I'd become an 'Exorcist', I watched the corpse's spine detach from the body, caught on _Mugen_'s blade. It ripped out quite easily after the muscles snapped from the tension. The only other thing holding the spine in place was a tangled mess of dark tendrils, reminiscent of the white ones in Lala's head.

The parasite.

Dark Matter.

"Bloody horrid, isn't it?" Allen coughed, covering his mouth and nose with the sleeve of his slightly soiled church robes.

"The sight or the smell?"

"Both. The latter more than the former. _Blegh_."

Despite that, he had deactivated his left arm and was reaching out to prod the squirming parasitic mass.

"Kill it."

"What? No! We're not killing it. Evolved parasites are quite difficult to acquire, you know. This is a rare opportunity!"

"…For what?"

"To _study_ it, duh." He rolled his eyes, crouching down to grab the dismembered spine, his other hand trying to tug the parasite off. It was wrapped around the column of bone, almost impossible to remove.

"_Why_?"

Why anyone would want to study those things was beyond my understanding. Komui was the same, always wanting to cut open a specimen and dissect it to pieces. Wouldn't it just be better to destroy them while we could?

"To see if it's possible to turn Akuma back into normal people."

Allen sounded hopeful, as though he was sure that there was a way to do it, something that had never been done before.

He gave up on removing the main parasitic body mass and opted to take the whole thing with him, dripping blood, snapped muscles and tendons and all.

"How many have you killed in his experiment of yours?"

"..Many."

The subject dropped on its own as we hobbled our way back to the church in silence, watched by Dark Matter parasites from the shaded alleys between buildings. It was nearing high noon, the sun being the only thing keeping us safe from our deaths at the jaws of something that shouldn't even exist. We weren't in much of a condition to fight off the swarms.

"But they won't be forgotten."

I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, saw him gazing at the bloody mess in his wrinkled hand.

"They knew the risks.. that they might not survive. Their names are recorded, along with whatever information they could provide.. They'll be remembered as people, not just numbers."

His hand clenched tightly around the spine, causing the dark mass of.. _stuff_.. to squirm violently. But he paid it no mind.

"..Not like us."

Why I never knew that boy's name, all those years ago, was something I found myself wondering some times. The men in the white lab coats who accompanied him during our spars were people I never noticed. The way they marked down things on their clipboards every time we argued was an action I didn't think much of at the time.

"You're an experiment, too, aren't you? I could tell by that mark on your chest."

We weren't just sparring back then, no matter how much we wished to believe it was merely that, children that we were.

"…So what if I am."

We were being tested on.

Allen rolled his eyes again, reaching for the handle of the church's front door with his 'normal' hand when we arrived.

"It was just a question, jeez. No need to get so touchy about it—"

If I was a believer in God and religion, I would say it looked like an image from Hell. Unfortunately, something like myself could only ever dream of God and the Lord.

..Nevertheless, it still looked like Hell had broken loose.

Organs littered the floor, flesh and grime painted the walls, blood pooling under desecrated biomechanical bodies still faintly whirring with life.. it was worse than Fairfield, just be the sheer _number_ of corpses.

_What the hell could've happened here?_

Allen bent down, picking up a rusty gear that had rolled against his foot the moment we walked in.

"..It's fresh."

How he could tell from just a glance, I didn't know, nor did I really care at this point. It smelled like a mix between rotten eggs, a landfill, a wet dog, and.. and, well, rotting flesh and bad oil.

"Doesn't look like it."

"I meant whatever Akuma it belonged to was just recently destroyed," he muttered, straightening up and tossing the piece aside.

The two of us made our way through the half-eaten gore, treading carefully to avoid stepping on any more eyeballs like I did in Fairfield. Piles of gray matter—brains and spinal cords –were mashed into the floor of the church, as though someone had slipped while accidentally stepping on them. There was a heart impaled among the splintered benches, still beating faintly and leaking dark liquid. The aorta was still attached, one of its three branches trailing down through the cracked wood and into the chest cavity of one decapitated Akuma's human shell.

The head… well, I couldn't tell where that had ended up. There were so many on the ground, some missing a good chunk, others still intact. Most of them were losing their skin, sloughing off into gelatinous piles on the blood stained floor…

_..Kind of like kaa-san._

A child sat on one of the few unbroken benches, huddled at the far end and trembling violently. She clutched a silver cross in her hands tightly, as though it were a lifeline and would somehow provide salvation from his Hellish place. I would have been surprised to see her alive an uninjured had I not known that she was an Akuma.

But I did know—and despite the fact about Akuma being cannibals and eating each other, I still wasn't surprised to see one relatively alive and healthy while the rest had already been ripped apart.

And despite her relatively clean clothes, there was always the suspicion that this girl—this _Akuma_.. that it was the one who killed the rest of them.

Allen, on the other hand.. I couldn't tell whether he knew or not. He immediately went over and took the Akuma in his arms, almost like he was trying to quiet a child with comforting words.

"It's okay. Nothing's going to hurt you anymore, it'll be alright."

I suppose I was waiting for him to snap out of it and take advantage of the Akuma's vulnerability and destroy it, but..

He never did.

"You know that's an Akuma you're trying to talk to," I finally said after a few minutes of standing by idly.

His words dwindled to a murmur, its cries to soft sniffles, until both ultimately stopped, letting silence take its reigns. Allen stood, his right hand resting on the Akuma's head.

"She's not an Akuma. She's a child who has lost her a family."

"It's an _Akuma_."

"She's not a bloody Akuma!"

I was already drawing _Mugen_, ready to attack. I didn't know what he was thinking, mixing up Akuma and humans. I didn't care, either. All I was concerned with was the Akuma, killing it like I killed _kaa-san_.. like I killed my family.

Even when the Akuma, under the guise of a young girl, flailed and screamed as I cleaved through its shoulder. Even as its hands sharpened, turning into deadly nails that gouged down the entire left side of Allen's face and into my already wounded shoulder, I had only one thing in mind.

_Destroy the Akuma…_

_..Before they destroy me._

**

* * *

**

**A/N**

_Fairfield_: Fairfield Hospital. See Experiments 3-5.

_Kaa-san_: Mother. In case you didn't know it by now. :|b Kudos to those of you who actually count how many times _kaa-san_ is mentioned.

_Linali(/Lenalee/Rinari/Rinali):_ This is how I spell her name shut up. D:

_Leverrier(/Rouvelier/whatever else):_ ...Shut up again. D: Somehow, the way I wrote him made him seem like a pedo.. but that's besides the point!

Reviews and snacks for plot-bunny plox? It's cleaning up the mess in the church (Yum, brains!) but, hey, a little extra wouldn't hurt it.

:D

(On another note, does anyone feel like beta-ing for this fic?)


	10. Experiment 9: An Apple and My Eye

Oh my dear good lord-- or whatever it is that I believe in --this took a god awful long time to get out. I've been working on DGM Big Bang, only to call it off just a week ago. D: I realized that I couldn't work on that and this at the same time, so I had to give up one of them. And I chose DGM BB.

I apologize to my readers for waiting so long for this chapter to come out! It's here now! You can stop beating your pillow and pretending it's my head! |D

This is also unbeta'd. Do expect some typos and crap like that until I'm unlazy enough to read through it again.

**Warning:** Teenagers, Kanda, apple-peeling, and a kiss! That's right! We're actually _getting somewhere_!

**Rating:** K, K+. I don't think there's much cursing in this chapter. Just a kiss (with plot involved)~

**Disclaimer:** Caramel popcorn is delicious. I wish I had some while watching Alien 3 a few days ago on the PC... Oh, um, I don't own D Gray-Man. Capiche? Capiche.

Enjoy~

_**

* * *

**_

_**An Apple and My Eye**_

* * *

Almost a week had passed since the brunette was confined to this tower known as The Black Order, and he really wasn't fond of the nostalgia that came with this overstayed 'vacation'. Unfortunately, he was unable to leave until both Lavi and Kanda woke up so the three of them could give a detailed report of what the hell happened in Roanapur.

Frederico had given his account and was now being transferred to another Church in France after the two Exorcists—and the girl, the Akuma –practically destroyed the one he and Allen were stationed in previously. Needless to say, Allen had no place to go as well—and neither did the other dozen or so failed experiments formerly living comfortably in the church's basement.

It was going to be a bitch to relocate all of them, most definitely.

"..What exactly are you doing, Allen?"

The boy looked up, pausing in his current task. He supposed that she learned his name from his argument with Leverrier a while ago, in addition to the nurses and other staff chasing him around calling his name. He did note that she didn't use it with a tone of familiarity, though.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Um, you're.. peeling an apple?"

"Bingo," he muttered, resuming the removal of rind from the delicious fruit known as _Malus domestica_, more commonly known as the Fuji apple. Trust the Order to have the best produce and foods while half of the outside world was struggling to keep their crops from being devoured by parasites and destroyed by global warming. "But, unfortunately, you don't get a prize."

Linali Li pulled up a chair next to Kanda's bed, situating her seat across from Allen's. She had originally thought he was a stuck up brat, what with the way he addressed others, but he was polite when it was necessary.. and he did have _some_ semblance of etiquette. The way he avoided everyone in the building, though, _especially_ the Exorcists who had a day off to recuperate and only wanted to ask about what happened at the church, gave off an aura of 'I am superior to all of you lousy bunch of dogs' that Linali did not like at all.

And, well, after the past week or so of Allen's sneaking out of the hospital wing he was confined to, being booted out of Leverrier's little office numerous times, sulking around in general, and frequent visits to Kanda's room in the infirmary to see if he was awake yet (sometimes in the middle of the night, which was always creepy to deal with), Linali had only one thing to say.

_I still think he's a selfish brat._

In fact, if Allen had red hair and green eyes and was just a few inches taller, he'd be almost like Lavi.

The only difference being that Lavi was still unconscious from numerous other Akuma-inflicted injuries and Allen was running around causing trouble. And they weren't sure if either of them would be able to see out of their respective injured eyes any time soon.

Even half blind, the boy continued to methodically peel the fruit, occasionally throwing glances at Kanda's sleeping face. The latter's chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, breathing slowly and evenly, softly. They had taken him off the ventilator a few days ago when he could breathe on his own again. He was still hooked up to the EKG, though, and the regular beeping was audible in the background.

Allen had managed to get out of his hospital robes again, though he couldn't wear the church garb that he was brought here in—they were torn and bloody and had already been thrown out. Dressed as he was in a black button-up, a decorative t-shirt, and jeans, he looked every bit the modern teenager of the year 2042.

Linali herself was in a double-layered skirt with zebra-striped stockings and the top half of her Exorcist uniform. It was the most difficult part to put on and take off, so she rarely removed it aside from showering and sleeping. She had suggested simpler outfits to the Science Department, but they seemed to make a hobby of designing elaborate uniforms for their precious Exorcists.

"Shouldn't you be visiting red? He's already awake."

She started, not expecting Allen to speak up as he was focusing on his peeling and starting to cut out the first slice. Why was he eating here, anyway?

"I already did. Kanda's supposed to wake up today, so I—" she paused, staring thoughtfully at the slice of apple landing in the blade. He was still cutting more slices, but hadn't touched first. Why? "..Are you cutting that for Kanda?"

"What—No!" Allen answered quickly, too quickly, looking as though Linali had just said the most stupidest and shocking thing ever. He turned away, stuffing a slice into his mouth as he continued slicing. "Why would I do that for this idiot? Crazy women.."

Despite his hair obscuring her view, Linali saw the light pink coloring on his cheeks as he chewed and muttered.

She smiled.

Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"Stop smiling at me like that. It's creepy."

Or.. not.

"..So the rumors are true—you really _don't_ like Exorcists."

"Oh, great, now they're spreading rumors about me," Allen grumbled, carefully cutting another piece of apple. "_No_, I don't like Exorcists. In fact, I _hate_ them."

Linali sucked in a breath at the sheer intensity of his words, the pure animosity crackling behind them, lacking any hesitation or doubt. He really did hate them so.

"..But why? Why do you hate us?"

"Why did you join The Black Order?" He asked, as though that would answer her question.

It didn't.

She had no idea what he meant by that question, nor did she see how her answer had anything to do with it.

"I.. because I want to help. I want to save people from being killed by the Akuma."

She wanted to be of some use to this life, to leave some kind of mark that others in the past hadn't been able to. Her brother was already doing so much, getting dangerously close to these creatures known as Light Matter—and they were docile enough. She absolutely forbade Komui to get near the Dark Matter. That stuff could be left to people like Cross Marian who had nothing better to do in their life and with their lives.

"I want to help this world I live in."

To right the wrongs of those who lived before her.

Allen paused again, the hand holding the fruit knife trembling and shaking as it clenched the handle tightly.

They were fighting for the wrong reason, was how he saw it.

"Then you're just a stupid, ignorant idiot."

Linali frowned.

"You can possible hate us because of our purpose."

"But I do. I hate you, I hate Exorcists, I hate this whole bloody organization!"

She couldn't understand, not when Allen bothered sitting next to Kanda's bed with a plate of untouched apple slices on his lap. He hated Exorcists, hated the Order, and yet he wasn't really being forced to stay here—or was he? Was it true that there was something about Kanda that Allen wanted, just as Leverrier had stated? Or did he mean to tell Kanda about the fact that he had no parents? Or ask him whether or not he had any?

"..Are you waiting for him to wake up?" She asked, a bit timidly due to Allen's outburst.

The boy paused, briefly wanting to say _'hell no'_, if not for the fact that he was doing exactly that as he sat in this chair next to the Exorcist's bed. He had a bad habit of being a hypocrite sometimes.

"No, I'm waiting for him to croak." He rolled his eyes. Obviously he was waiting for Kanda to regain consciousness. Why else would he waste time cutting an apple next to his bed? Room service? "Of course I am."

"But why?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"I'm his friend. I deserve to know."

Allen looked up with a sneer. As much as he hated these people, they were at least amusing for some things. Nice way to pass the time while waiting for someone who was supposed to have died to wake up.

"You think he feels the same way?"

* * *

I woke with a start, taking in a deep mouthful of air as though I hadn't breathed a single breath in forever. I was partially aware of the two voices on either side of the bed, one genuinely worried, the other bitingly sarcastic, and both with a hint of relief. Even after opening my eyes, I saw only a dim gray instead of the bright white of the hospital ceiling I should've been in.

An electrocardiogram beeped steadily in the background, the high pitched sound cutting into my senses and bringing them back to life from their week long (or however many days it was) slumber. My limbs were still numb, tingling as the feeling returned slowly.

"-nda… Kanda!"

The cloth flew off, blinding light and a flurry of colors forcing my hand to come up and shied my eyes from the intrusion. Fiery sparks fired off along my arm, drawing a pained wince as I rolled over in an attempt to get away from the light.

"Nice job, you blinded him."

"I didn't do anything!"

"You pulled it off, duh. "

"But he can't see anything if his eyes are covered."

"Yeah, and now he can't see anything, _period_."

"Well, I never—"

"_Children_!"

I squinted, shading my eyes from the light, and watched Matron attempt to shoo them out of the room despite their protests. Linali, after a worried look, departed easily. Allen, on the other hand, had a bit more luck resisting the woman's wrath.

"I need to talk to him."

"That can wait until _after_ he's had his checkup."

"No, it can't, I need to see him _now_!"

"And what, pray tell, is so urgent that you cannot wait even a few minutes to tell him?"

"Because, if I wait, Leverrier will get to him first."

Matron fell silent. I wondered what he could've meant by that. Leverrier was always resent at times like this, right after I woke up from hospitalization. He made it his first priority to go through my damage reports and statistics after every mission, even those from which I returned relatively unscathed.

I never inquired about it, of course. The Inspector would do what he wanted; he was far more powerful than was healthy. But, thankfully, he wasn't the _most_ powerful one in this organization. He rarely lost an argument, always had an excuse ready for his actions, something that had helped him keep his position for years despite crossing the line numerous times.

A cunning cutthroat of a man; no wonder he was the one at the head of the experiment.

"..Very well, then," Matron admitted in a slightly defeated tone. The light seemed to have dimmed a bit, though not by much. "So long as you don't dawdle around—"

She looked over and saw how I was still shading my eyes from the glow of the fluorescent lighting. Since when had they become so bright?

"..Kanda, what's wrong?"

"The light…"

Even after they were dimmed, it was still rather bright. It didn't hurt as much, though, so I found no reason to complain.

"Better?"

"A bit."

The door opened suddenly. I couldn't see it with my back turned to the door, but I could see that Allen's still casual posture told me it wasn't Leverrier. It was another nurse.

"Inspector Leverrier wishes to speak with Mister Kanda, Matron."

_How did he know I was awake..?_

"Must've heard it from the girl.." Allen muttered, as though in reply to my silent inquiry. "Tell him he's already seeing someone. And bring a caramel latté while you're at it. I haven't had one of those in for_ever_."

The nurse, hardly older than a teenager, paused and started fidgeting with her hands.

"..Would you like whipped cream with that?"

Allen blinked at her blush before going light pink himself.

"I- I was.. just kidding about the latté, really."

"Ah."

She flushed even more and scurried away, hands clenching her dress as she went to tell Leverrier to 'get lost'. Matron shook her head with a sigh.

"_Teenagers_…" After a moment, the elderly woman came around to my bedside. "How are you feeling, Kanda?"

"..Could be better."

"Of course." She sighed again, and then went about taking my pulse, checking my temperature, and other standard medical checkups. It only took a few minutes like usual, but it felt much longer.

Perhaps it was because of Allen's lingering stares, his watchful gaze following Matron's every move and trying to get a glimpse at the recorded data. It wasn't like an invasion of privacy—or at least, I didn't think it was. His curiosity was a bit strange, though. Why would he want to know so much about someone he hardly knew or cared about?

"Well, everything seems to be in order… no abnormalities that I can discern. We may have to run you through the scanner just to make sure, but that can wait for later. If you feel anything out of place, get a nurse, okay, Kanda?"

I nodded briefly, watching as Matron took her leave. The door closed with a soft click, echoing faintly in the hallway beyond my temporary hospital room.

"Apple?"

I raised an eyebrow at the proffered plate of sliced fruit. To be honest, I would've preferred soba—it was easier on my stomach after intense hospitalization sessions, such as the recent one. But I guess Allen wouldn't have bothered to bring a place of buckwheat noodles up here just for me.

"If you're not going to take any, I'll eat 'em all."

I still hesitated. Slowly, I reached over and took one from the plate. Allen flashed a smile and leaned back, popping two pieces into his mouth right off the bat.

_Eat them all? More like __**inhale**__ them._

Crisp and sweet, just the right amount of crunch, the perfect texture, enough flavor to be noticed, but never enough to overwhelm the senses—a magnificent thing, the Fuji apple.

"..Leverrier's planning something," he began softly, out of nowhere. "I don't know what, but it has to do with you, no doubt."

"He's always planning something, it's not that surprising," I replied, shrugging. I would've been shocked if he _wasn't_ planning anything in that shrewd brain of his.

I did, however, wonder how _Allen_ knew. Leverrier was hardly one to indulge others in his plans for anything. He was much too secretive and spontaneous for that. The fact that Allen and Leverrier seemed to hate each other was the one thing that ruled out the possibility that one of them was working for the other.

"..Whatever he offers, turn him down."

I raised my head, giving him a questioning sort of look.

"Why?"

"Say you don't want to, refuse, whatever. Just do it, don't agree with whatever he's saying." He rolled his shoulders in a sort of a shrug, scarfing down two more slices and holding a third one in his hand.

"You expect me to do it just because you're telling me to? Che, idiot."

I wasn't some kind of mindless drone who followed any order that was issued, far from it. I was a humanoid weapon that would only obey specific instructions from certain people, and that was the one thing that separated me from a cold, metal robot.

Allen fell silent, absently chewing as he stared in my direction. I gave him a wary glance before realizing that it wasn't just my direction that he was looking in.

It was _me_.

_..Why the hell is the staring at me?_

"What the hell are you looking at?"

"Just.. nothing. Nothing at all."

"Then why are you still here? I thought you hated this place."

He looked away, leaving his chin in the palm of his peach-flesh hand.

"They wanted a statement but don't trust me enough to give it by myself. So I'm stuck here until you wake up, sleeping beauty."

"Then who are _you_ supposed to be? Prince Charming?"

Allen rolled his eyes with an expression of exasperation, though I could see a hint of a smile.

"More like the fairy that makes sure you didn't die after getting shot in the chest. _Twice_."

I scoffed. Though he did fit that role better than the Prince, I would never admit to needing help or someone's blessing and prayers to keep my alive. I had science in my veins to do that.

"..Unless, of course, you'd _rather_ I be the one to wake you up with a kiss."

I wasn't expecting that—I should have, seeing as he'd dropped one of those lines just over a week ago –but something about his smile told me he wasn't joking like last time. Last time was the first we'd spoken to each other in years, and I still didn't understand why he said it. I don't think I ever will.

"--What is it with you and _kissing_?"

He gave a sly grin, most definitely hiding something behind those muddy eyes of his. A sharp look at the door, concentrating on something I couldn't hear—

_Footsteps._

"You're making this rather difficult for me, Yuu."

His words were unusually loud, compared to our previous low-volume 'conversation'. At that level, it would quite possibly..

..Carry out past the closed door.

Before I could ask what he meant, why he was suddenly using my given name—how he even _knew_ my first name –his hand shot out and grabbed a handful of the hospital gown I was wearing. I was pulled forward roughly, jerked up from my position of leaning back against a raised bed and a stack of pillows, and my hands went up to brace myself for the eventual collision.

But it never came. Our faces stopped mere centimeters from each other, his breath a warm puff against my skin. A puddle of chocolate, gleaming with specks of gold and bright amber; from up close, I could almost see the patterns of his iris, light brown lines and darker waves, a sort of hazelnut gradient outward from the pupil. His eyelashes and mine quivered as we fought to keep from instinctively closing our eyes.

"..Swallow it."

Those were the last two words I heard before his mouth pressed dry and warm against my own, before something small and hard was pushed between my lips, between my teeth. His tongue followed, guiding the object until I swallowed involuntarily, feeling the pill slip down my throat.

_What the hell is he doing?!_

I made to pull away and ask him, before anyone could come through the door and see, but his arms had somehow made their way around my neck. His weight shifted, crawling closer even as I scrambled to back up. At length, his eyes finally closed, his body pressing closer in a more intimate movement. It was a strange sensation, this connection between us. If I hadn't known better, I might've thought it was real.

Perhaps it was, but perhaps it was just.. something else. Something I wasn't familiar with.

Something unknown.

As the door slammed open and Leverrier stormed in, mouth curled into a snarl and eyes furious, I noted one thing.

_..He tastes like apples._


	11. Experiment 10: An Inspector and A Human

Hooray! It hasn't been an eternity since I last updated!

I'm debating whether to make this a monthly update instead, so I can get longer chapters done without rushing.. but I think it'll just be updated whenever I feel up to typing this clump of 4000 words for my loyal readers (however many of you are left, at least.. B|).

**Warning:** Light cursing maybe. Nothing bad. Stalker!Allen. 8D

**Rating:** K+. Maybe a low T.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D Gray-Man. My art would never be as pretty as Hoshino's. ;w; DGM 188 FTWWWWW.

Enjoy~

_**

* * *

**_

_**An Inspector and A Human**_

* * *

Malcolm C. Leverrier was no stranger to surprise. He was, after all, born just a few years before the 2000 blowout, when an atomic bomb was 'accidentally' dropped in what used to be Area 51, triggering the rise of several more bombs being launched in various locations as return fire from the United States.

All that radiation would be the one thing that led to what was happening now in 2042.

He had seen many things in his lifetime. He knew that life had been like before the Dark Matter and Light Matter were discovered. Back then they were reported merely as bacteria and microorganisms that had grown a bit too big to be considered the same species as their miniscule cousins. They weren't anything bad at the time.

He knew what it was like before the parasites got out of control, before the Dark Matter started acting as a regulating force of the human population. That was the time when the slightly larger parasites started getting larger and larger, reproducing at a rate common only to those nearly invisible creatures. Except, now that the radiation had caused them to mutate out of proportion and amplified their meager abilities for survival, they were much more dangerous than they were when first discovered only four years before.

Malcolm C. Leverrier knew what it was like to eat _real_ food that didn't have to be certified and tested to make sure there were no poisons or deadly bacteria in it, to breathe _real_ air without the smog and pollution, to see _real_ trees without having to watch for parasites in the leaves, to drink water without having to worry about salmonella or cryptosporidiosis or taeniasis or faciolopsiasis or any of those other water-borne remembered the days when you could walk down the streets without having to keep watch from the corner of your eye in case a parasite decided to choose you for its next meal. Or, perhaps, in case some_one_ decided to try and take your flashlight so they would survive the night—and you wouldn't.

Malcolm C. Leverrier knew what life was like before the end of 2012, before the United States of America declared war on the swarming pests, before the United Kingdom followed suit, before Russia, before China, before Mexico, Peru, Brazil, India, Vietnam, Korea, Chile, Africa, Siberia, Germany, Poland—

Before everything collapsed into one giant, conglomerated mess popularly known as World War III.

Sure, Earth hadn't been at its most peaceful when the Inspector was growing up as a child, but it was a nice time. It was a time when people would watch football games, soccer games, baseball games, golf tournaments, all kinds of sports, a time when people _could_ watch them to begin with. It used to be a time when people would predict that, by 2035, humans would be taking day trips to space, have color changing clothes, self-regulating cleanup robots, nanobots that could target and get rid of cancer cells—a time when people predicted a better future.

And every time Malcolm C. Leverrier looked out the window of his solitary office, he was forced to accept the fact that those predictions had fallen short by a century, that his childhood home had been overrun by Dark Matter, that his parents were probably dead, eaten by some Akuma after turning into one themselves, that the world was no longer 'okay' as some persistently wanted to believe. He had to accept that times had changed, for better or worse.

And it was probably going to get worse before it could get better.

All around the world people were sick, homeless, jobless, foodless, in dire need of help, but it wasn't a bad economy that caused this, or overpopulation, or lack of land, or any of that. It was the parasites.

They ate just about everything—cattle, crops, horses, oxen, gardens, _humans_.. it was horrible, those first few years. It was like a giant horde of locusts had been unleashed all across the world.

The only difference was that these Dark Matter parasites ate the locusts as well.

And then he heard of an organization that had been started, pledging to turn the world back to normalcy, back to how it used to be, and he was joyous. It was like his 18th birthday all over again.

He wasn't in college at the time, of course, so he took a few courses in science, biology, anatomy, chemistry, physics, all of it. He learned anything that might have been necessary to be stationed at The Black Order, to work his way up until he could sit next to those genius men.

Yes, Malcolm C. Leverrier had been through a lot. Hearing about colleague after colleague after colleague dying at the hands of those damned creatures, seeing them from the driver side window as he passed an alley on the way to the market, seeing them _watching_ him, like they knew what he was thinking.

He hated that feeling.

But, being a normal human himself, Leverrier's attempt to crash his car into a group of them and burn them alive was destined to fail, and fail it did. Spectacularly.

Cross Marian lost an eye in the process of dragging him out of the smoldering wreck, the reeking stench of mottled flesh clouding the air and covered in soot. Leverrier could still recall the ringing gunshots that set the area on fire even more than it already was, letting the flames burn themselves out and raze every last parasite to the ground.

Being saved like that, Malcolm C. Leverrier swore, was the last time that he would be surprised, and it was the beginning of his four-year study in college, despite the fact that he was already in his late 20s by then. He was undaunted by his weakness; it only spurred him to do his best and succeed, unlike those around him who failed and took things easy, hoping the nightmare would end before too long.

Two months after he graduated, the campus was taken over, and anyone still left in the buildings was either dead or infected and turned into an Akuma…

..Or both.

Now that he actually thought about it, neither the government nor The Black Order ever managed to get that place back under control. From what that boy told him, it was deathly empty and devoid of any life aside from the wretched creatures that were plaguing everyone's lives.

.._That boy_.

He was the bane of Leverrier's existence, him and his idiotic parents. Because of them, Kanda didn't turn out perfect. Because of them, Leverrier was forced to convince his superiors to invest more time and money, putting the experiment through an extra year of disciplinary courses, training sessions, and tests. Because of _them_.. them and this child of theirs trying to ruin is plans to cleanse the world of Dark Matter.

The door swung open the rest of the way and slammed against the wall, but it wasn't until after his enraged yell did they finally break apart. A small object fell onto the bed between them, unnoticed for now by all but the furious Inspector.

To think Allen Walker would have the nerve to do such a disgusting thing within the Order itself.

"What do you think you're _doing_?"

The boy dared roll his eyes at Leverrier, shrugging it off as though it were no big deal.

"Kissing, obviously."

He put up with a lot of things, especially those pertaining to this annoying rascal here. The fact that Allen was even still _alive_ was a hindrance; though it wasn't like Leverrier could arrange for his death to happen. He was a pebble in the shoe—no, a burr, stuck in a refusing to come out even when forced. He was too stubborn to die.

When a child has no one to rely on, they rely on themselves.

And Allen relied on himself _completely_.

"Attempting to poison him as well, I see." The Inspector glowered angrily at the fallen red and white pill capsule. He knew not what it was, whether regular medicine or something toxic, but the fact that the boy was even attempting it so secretly gave him a bad feeling.

"Well, you should make sure isn't so easy to seduce," Allen taunted, taking a jab at their apparently defective experiment, their failure to condition him to perfection. It was infuriating.

"What do you seek to gain by doing something like this, boy?"

"Gee, I dunno." His childish features hardened into a cynical smile. "Maybe I just wanted to destroy what you worked so hard on for 20 grueling long years."

Five years spent beating all kinds of expressions and emotions _out_ of the experiment. The goal wasn't to create a perfect human, it was to create the perfect human _weapon_, something with which to win this war.

And this child and his parents had to go and tear it apart like a pack of starving wolves on a carcass. It would take up too much time, too many resources, too many funds needed to put Kanda through remedial lessons, but there was still a chance. It worked the first time he faltered; it should work again this time.

"I have endured many hardships under this alliance with you, but I'm afraid it ends here. You've crossed the line, and I'm _sure_ you know it."

"Oh, really? What can you do about it? You're just an inspector, and _you_ know that. You don't have the power to throw me out," he sneered, a triumphant glint in his eye.

Contrary to what Allen believed, it wasn't that hard. It had taken a bit of delving into the rulebook and reaffirming his position, but Leverrier had a way. He found one, a solution to this annoying pest of a problem, the one equation that would finally bring relative peace to the tower—the boy didn't even _live_ here and yet he managed to cause so much trouble.

Leverrier had a whole speech prepared for this very moment, pages upon pages of subtle insults and harsh criticism to throw at the brunette for making the past decade of his life so goddamned difficult. He wanted the brat to know what an eyesore he was, such a blemish upon this organization's name that he would never be mentioned to anyone looking to join.

No one would know who he was, save for a select few in the higher levels, and it would stay that way. He would remain anonymous, a mere shadow trailing behind that crazy scientist named Cross Marian, a simple set of numbers on the papers regarding the experiment performed on his arm nearly ten years ago.

Malcolm C. Leverrier wanted to say all of that and more.

And yet, now that the moment had come, he didn't feel like wasting his breath on the boy, throwing away precious hours trying to get his point across. He only had one thing he wanted to say to him right now.

"I _am_ a mere inspector; however, all I have to do is report that you are a negative influence, not only upon our staff and Exorcists, but also upon _Yuu Kanda_, and that will be your ticket out the front door," Leverrier stated with a slightly smug look, feeling very much accomplished at the slight scowl on the boy's face. And the best part was that it didn't end there. "In fact… perhaps we'll write you up right now."

As if on cue, the door opened and Inspector Link stepped in, holding a paper pad and pencil in hand. A few quick scrawls and he ripped the top sheet off, handing it over. Despite having written the last part so quickly, the young inspector's handwriting was immaculate, prim and proper; as expected of someone who took pride in his own perfection.

With a word of approval, the blonde man took the sheet back and left, making for Leverrier's office to properly write up this referral to their superiors. Technology was only a little better than it was 40 years ago, but with the Order's personal network, there was nothing to slow down the processing of information being sent out. Once typed up and sent, it would take mere milliseconds to reach the inbox of The Black Order's CEOs, mere minutes to receive a reply containing a temporary solution, mere hours to discuss and convince them that this young child was a threat to the stability of the organization.

"It won't be long before you are denied access and entry to The Black Order, Allen Walker."

A moment of silence. Allen shifted, picking up and throwing the fallen pill into the trash can before straightening his slightly rumpled clothing. No matter how many times Leverrier saw, no matter what circumstances it was under, Allen always had the air of an adolescent, of a teenager, of a child, of a _normal human being_.

Even after his hand was bitten off, even after living on his own for a handful of years, even after he was taken in by an _Akuma_, it hadn't changed him at all. Aside from the fact that he now had a grudge against those who were working to save the world, he was behaving the same way a normal child would.

A trouble maker.

_How dare you defile the weapon we worked endlessly to make, Allen Walker._

"..Please don't call me that, Inspector Leverrier," he said from the doorway, hand clenching the doorknob tightly. "I'm not a Walker. I'd rather not be associated with those useless parents of mine."

Useless they were.. but only near the end of their lives, when they decided to escape to Japan with the still in-development fetus. To this day, no one knew why they did, why they tried to hide from one of the most powerful organizations on Earth, what they could have possibly been trying to accomplish—no one knew.

And, frankly, Leverrier didn't care for the reason. They managed to get Kanda back, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

Blushing was not something I should have been capable of doing. My.. my _heart_, if you'll call it that—it was only mean to increase blood pressure during battle and exercise. At no other time was it supposed to act up.

Yet here I was, my face heating up involuntarily as Allen pulled away and loosened his arms from around my neck. My gaze flickered, unfocused, briefly fixed on his own pale pink cheeks, then down at the pill that had fallen out. Strange. Hadn't I just swallowed one?

My thoughts were interrupted by Allen's and Leverrier's argument. I knew better than to intervene at the moment, and I knew that Leverrier would never drag me into it. I'd learned early on that I wasn't someone to talk to when company was around, and I was fine with that.

After all, I was just a weapon to be used, not a human to converse with.

Allen left the room. His parting words made me wonder if this would be the last time I would see him in a while. I still had questions, so many questions for him. Damn Leverrier, damn him for charging in without warning—

Had it not for him, though, I would've never known that Allen was a Walker. I knew the name well. Too well.

"A brilliant family, they were," Leverrier muttered in a gruff tone, hands clasped behind his back once more as he looked around the bleak room was I was being confined to. He was speaking more to himself than to me, I could tell. "Ingenious and clever.. very clever indeed. Too bad they were insane as well. Their son isn't any better."

"Allen isn't insane," I said, unable to hold it back.

"See? He's even managed to fool _you_ into believe that nonsense. That boy is a horrible influence."

_Why am I defending him? What will __**I**__ gain from this, protecting him from Leverrier's words, what do I care?_

I couldn't even answer my own questions.

He was a bit odd, I admit. Nevertheless, he was perfectly sane; Allen Walker was well aware of what he was doing. **(1)**

As for his parents.. they weren't the best, leaving their son in someone else's care and moving out of the country, but they knew what they were doing as well. Maybe. I never saw many other parents. Japan was a desolate place, too barren and dangerous for humans. And yet they dared move us right into the capital to give me a "suitable environment" to grow up in.

Maybe they were crazy, maybe they were too obsessed with their jobs, obsessed enough to leave a son in England and relocate to Tokyo. _Tou-san_ wasn't that bad, though. He knew, he knew what I was, like the others knew. A monster, a sociopath, a cold-hearted bastard, _inhuman_.. they knew the truth.

Only _kaa-san_ lied to herself, calling me a prodigy, claiming I was her son, a _human_. Perhaps reality had finally caught up with her, perhaps she knew General Tiedoll was coming to find me and that it was over for her and _tou-san_. Even after succumbing to a parasite and turned into an Akuma, even in death, she wanted to keep me all to herself. Funny, that the woman who loved me most was the one who tried to kill me in the end.

I wonder which of these paths her son, Allen, would follow. What did he want by making me swallow that thing? Leverrier might not have been aware of it, but I was. I could hear the pill, wrapped in acid-repellant coating, beeping, sending out signals to some distant receiver.

A tracking device.

..Did he perhaps predict that he would be thrown out and, for some reason, needed to monitor my movements?

_Che. Stalker._

"..Yuu Kanda—are you paying attention?"

_No._

"Yes."

Leverrier fixed a skeptical gaze, obviously still irritated at the boy who had left not too long ago. I'd taken up a habit of lying, lately. Not about the big, important things, just the small, menial details.

Little, unimportant things that… weren't as little and unimportant as I thought.

"You _do_ understand why you were created, don't you?"

His voice was cold like ice, his words a dagger trying to cut through my defenses, like a father reprimanding his child.. but without the love and care that came with parenthood. It spoke of the truth and harsh reality behind my existence, of which I was all too familiar with. _Tou-san_ taught me well before he took his last breath.

"Of course I do."

I held my breath, silently hoping he would believe it and leave. If he didn't, I would be on the receiving end of another lecture.

Or perhaps, even worse, carted off to some faraway lands for another one of those detestable—

"You have an appointment next week with Asia Branch Head Bak Chan. Don't forget, Yuu Kanda."

…_Remedial lessons._

"I refuse."

Never had I put myself under this much pressure. My face betrayed nothing—if there was anything I learned from those sessions, it was to keep a neutral face at all times, though I did prefer a scowl to an idiotic blank expression –but inside, my thoughts were in turmoil.

A few years prior, I wouldn't think twice about such an appointment. It was normal for someone.. or something.. like myself to be examined periodically. I already knew what the purpose behind each of Bak Chan's visits was. I wasn't supposed to care, and I never thought much about it.

I was used to them, it wasn't my duty to fight back and question their actions. I'd seen Lavi and Linali and Komui question their orders from the Inspector, often confidential and secret things brought straight from the higher ups, wanting to know the reason behind such actions. But I was never one to do that. What was I going to do with that extra little tidbit?

Linali and Lavi would be able to climb ranks by racking up knowledge and experience. Komui supervised everyone, took care of the Exorcists, so he benefitted from knowing more.

And I?

"It's to your own benefit, you know." Leverrier's stern glare would be forever burned into my memory if it hadn't already been, but my answer would not change.

"I don't want to, _Inspector._"

I was doomed to remain a tool for the rest of my life, however long that would be.

"Do you realize what the consequences of your decision will be?"

A living weapon would never become a general, though I may become as strong as one. A living weapon would never stop fighting, because that would go against what a living weapon _was_. A living weapon had no need for knowledge—all I needed to know was how to use _Mugen_, how to survive, and what to do on my next assignment, be it rescuing survivors, recovering stolen Light Matter parasites, or getting ridding their opposite Dark Matter.

"I do not, but I refuse all the same."

For once, I didn't want to attend another of those emotion-erasing 'classes', as they called them. All you did was kill things for weeks on end until you either learned to enjoy it or, as in my case, detached completely. It wasn't fun, but 'fun' wasn't something I had the pleasure of knowing, it wasn't something I was familiar with.

And those weren't even the worst. Being 'taught' to never make this expression or to always have this one was nothing compared to learning to kill solely on command.

I hated those the most.

I hated having to pretend to follow the rules because I didn't like being punished, I hated that my pretending would become a habit at the end of the 'lessons', I hated watching the targets –mostly animals infected by Dark Matter–being brought in, I hated looking at them knowing that they would be lying in pieces soon, killed by my own hands. I hated it.

Truly, my hands must be covered in more dirty, murderous blood than the entirety of The Black Order combined.

And it was all because of Leverrier, the higher ups in this organization, all because they wanted something expendable to fight these parasites for them.

"Stop being difficult, this is not time for your silly games." His words held finality. He did not want a discussion or argument on such a topic. "One week. You will be leaving to meet up with Bak Chan in at Stonehenge in one week."

_Stonehenge_. I frowned. That wasn't a place I particularly enjoyed being in the presence of, I never wanted to go back there ever again. No one had managed to find out what it was before even after all these years, but it attracted a hell of a lot of Dark Matter. It seemed as though even they who were rumored to not have any ability to think seemed to hold the giant Sarsen and bluestones in respect—not a single block had been nibbled on since they decided to move in.

All the corpses, leftovers from their devouring of anything living nearby the stones, they would decompose over time and eventually become what should be fertile soil for plants to grow in.

The only problem was the virus in the blood of the dead parasites, toxic and deadly, killing any plants that tried to grow in the vicinity. The result?

A wasteland inhabited by nothing but dark colored, voracious, cannibalistic omnivores who had nothing against eating _Homo sapien_s.

"I'm not going," I announced unwaveringly, though I kept my gaze fixed on the pretty much empty plate instead, the plate holding only a single oxidizing slice of Fuji apple. I was tempted to reach out and pick it up, eat it, save it from being wasted and thrown out in the trash. "I.."

No doubt, it would be another few weeks of 'rehabilitation' with Chan and Epstein and anyone else who found sick entertainment in watching their living weapon mindlessly slaughter hundreds of Dark Matter.

But I never envied their lives, those of the people walking around me, of the one standing in the room, or of the ones who created me. I wasn't capable of being envious and wanting someone else's life—

But.. perhaps it wasn't too late to start.

"..I hate remedial lessons."

Perhaps it wasn't too late to try being a human for once in my non-human life.

No matter the consequences, such as Leverrier's twitching, livid change in expression at my use of the word 'hate'. It implied emotion, it implied a will, it implied that I had a mind, none of which I was supposed to have anymore.

It meant that I was a failure.

"You'll be leaving in two days, then. Pack well, Kanda; you won't be coming back."

And I didn't give a damn if Leverrier or even the entire world didn't like it. I didn't want to be just an experiment any more.

I wanted to be human.

_

* * *

_

_This chapter, like the rest of my fail-worthy chapters, is unbeta'd._

**(1)** _Sanity_ is a legal term, it does not refer to anything psychological in any way. To be sane is to be aware of what you are doing. Even if you are a mass murderer and have fun eating babies, as long as you _know_ that you're eating babies and not trying to rid the world of evil little aliens, you are deemed _sane_; mentally unstable, maybe, but sane. :)

P.S.: Spoiler alert! I've found plot holes in my.. well, plot. I want to fill them. With Alma. It actually works well in my head, and it might work on paper. Anyone want to second this? (Those of you who are actually up to date with the manga and know who Alma is... 8D).

A friend of mine actually suggested a three-way between Kanda, Alma, and Allen. Sob. Yuumallen. Sounds like a food, mmm.


	12. Experiment 11: Fifty Three

SO LOOK I AM ALIVE AND UPDATING FINALLY. :D AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME? It's been.. two or three months. Wow. I fail so much. I couldn't even make this chapter extra long. But I promise that the next one will be better!

I've been short on time lately, not to mention I'm just plain lazy.. I haven't gotten around to answering reviews, but I love all of you who did review! Smooches to all!

Pokemonlovers: Thank you for your review spam. 8)

Princess Of Oblivion: Leverrier is very much a dumb dingbat, but that's why we love him so much. Canon fodder! Also, Allen's appearance is described as brown hair and eyes but I've never explained why that's so. It'll change at some point, when I get to that part in the fic. If I can get there before giving up. 8'D

Evanescent Silence: I will call it a failure if I want to. D: Thank you for the super long review~ 3 I'll definitely be keeping this fic purely Kanda/Allen, though Alma will make an appearance at some point.

Zenigami: As mentioned above, it'll change at some point. I think it'll be an interesting transformation, from what I can see in my head~

To everyone else, thank you! I won't be replying to the unanswered old reviews (I can't even tell which ones those are D: I fail so much), but I'll try to answer the new ones from now on!

**Warnings:** Uh, typos? Nothing I have is beta'd. 8D I am proud. Kind of.

**Rating:** K+. Not much plot movement, just filler information for Allen and some more for Lev.

**Disclaimer:** Must I state this again? I don't own DGrayMan, I just own a plastic Kanda figurine on my keychain. :(

_**

* * *

**_

_**Fifty Three**_

* * *

Allen stormed through the halls of The Black Order's headquarters, fighting the heat that threatened to rise the moment he let his guard down. He was hoping to find an unoccupied room to hide out in until he could get his emotions back under control.

It was noisy in the hallway, since the infirmary was on ground floor. A room here would have a higher risk of being discovered, but a lower risk of being heard. Allen didn't think he'd be able to, well, _think_ with all this noise and clamor, in any case.

With a quick glance back at the room Kanda was being kept in, Allen turned and headed for the stairs, ignoring the confused glances and questions thrown his way. He wasn't wearing an Order uniform, so he didn't blame them for being curious. As he continued ascending the steps, the people became less and less frequent, until at last there were only one or two Order members in lab coats wandering around. By then, Allen was completely tired out, having had to climb all those steps instead of taking the elevator (he never did like those things).

Upon reaching an eerily quiet floor (the plaque near the stairs read '53'), after passing through a grungy one with 'X' stains on all the doors, Allen paced around, keeping an eye out for anyone walking by, and pressing his ear to the doors to find out if they were already occupied. Some of them were, if the snoring meant anything.

The first one that sounded empty and dead was the one he tried. It opened with little difficulty.

Brushing off his surprise, Allen slipped into the room and eased the door shut before groping around for the light switch. Fluorescent white flooded his vision, replacing the lingering darkness, and Allen found the room to be even more deserted than he thought.

In one corner was a bed. Across from it was a nightstand. Nearby was a closet. And that was it.

_Gee. __**My**__ room has more sustenance than this-- and I don't even have one._

Well. It was simple enough to hide in for a short rest. He made a mental note not to stay too long, lest the room's original inhabitant decided to return. (He could always claim that he got lost. It worked before, it should work again, right?)

Heaving a long sigh, the brunette slumped onto the cold bed, not realizing exactly how tired he was until that moment. It wasn't any better than usual, but it certainly wasn't any worse. He succeeded in his goal for the day, to get subject Yuu Kanda to swallow a tracking device that would come into use… at some point or another. It was a precautionary measure more than anything, really.

But Allen really, really, _really_ wished they hadn't been interrupted like they were. A few moments longer would've been enough to completely unwind, enough for Allen to be able to leave the tower feeling content and satisfied.

Damn Inspector just had to barge in like that. He couldn't have come just a few seconds later, no. He just had to be like a mother hen and worry over everything that would harm his precious little experiment. It wasn't like Allen actually did much, anyway—in his opinion, at least. It was just a kiss. What was so wrong with that?

Then it dawned on him, even though he was thinking about it mere moments ago, and he collapsed back onto the mattress with a frustrated groan, mismatched hands coming up to hide his slowly reddening cheeks.

…What in the world had he been thinking, kissing Kanda like that? _Why_ had he done it? What was it about the Japanese that made him so.. so alluring?

It was as though his body was moving on its own, like he couldn't help but feel those _urges_. Allen had always chaulked them up to plain ol' hormones; he was a relatively normal teenager, after all. He just never thought _normalcy_ could apply to people like him.

Then again, he never had much of an education.

It wasn't like Allen could help not knowing anything. No one had enough money to pay the fees, no one had time to watch their kids, and, well..

..England had all but shut down all of its schools, anyway. Now the buildings, once packed with bright-eyed, ready-to-learn students now housed some 5 to 8 thousand homeless, jobless Englishmen and women. Some of them, like the unfortunate universities, also doubled as makeshift hospitals to care for the sick and injured. All of the people staying—_living_ in those conditions were the same, and Allen was no exception.

Malnourished, ill, dying, not even sure when their next meal would be or where it would come from, or whether it would ever come at all…

But most of the children persevered. Most of them believed that it would end soon, believing their parents' foolish words saying that tomorrow would be a good day. It was all they had to keep fighting, to keep surviving, to keep from being another corpse on the road, or another hollow shell lying on a hospital bed.

The more hardworking ones, the ones with dreams of a future outside of their dingy cramped hallway, they strove to read what they could, tried to learn anything and everything. They didn't care that their lives were steadily being chipped away, slowly, gradually slipping into the darkness that would claim them all eventually; they only looked forward. But they were far and few in between.

Allen had yet to meet any other child that would voluntarily fight for their life like he did.

They had parents, even if they were poor. They had a shelter, even if it was shabby and dank. They had friends, even if they risked being turned on. They had a life, even if was dark, futureless, ridden with death and parasites.

It was hard for Allen to understand how those children could be content with what things like that. Sure, he knew that it was better to be content with the meager meal in front of him than the luxurious dinner another family could be having two towns over (actually, he was okay with that aspect of his life—food was food, no matter how good or how bad it was), but he wanted something more than this shadow of a life that he lived.

Allen had long stopped believing that his life would get better if he continued doing good deeds, that Heaven was a possible destination to those who were pious and kind and generous. Religion was less useful than a speck of dust; at least the dust could temporarily blind an animal so you could kill and eat it. Religion was just.. meaningless.

Where was God now? Was He sitting on His throne in the sky, watching the foolish humans run around like headless chickens, chasing headless chickens, behaving more like savages and less like the humans they were mere decades ago? Was He planning to get the human race out of this rut? Or was He going to make like classical economics and just let things run their course, for better or worse? There were too many variables, too many questions and not enough answers.

He couldn't find it in himself to believe in God, because no matter how hard he tried, that disgusting arm of his would remind him of his fate. He would never have a child, he would never raise a family, he would never be able to buy a ring for his wife, he would never have a nice house with a white picket fence and a bright green lawn, he would never be able to go a single day without pain.

And, what was considered the worst of it (according to Cross, at least), Allen Walker would never live past his early 20s. That was a fact.

And no amount of praying and crying could change that.

So instead of feeling sorry for himself and standing at the sidelines, cursing Leverrier and The Black Order and God (he cursed them all anyway, just for the hell of it), he stepped up onto the podium and took a stand.

He was going to use the remaining less-than-half-a-decade of his life to change the world. He vowed, to himself, to Mana, to Robin, to Lala, to Leo, to Jean, to all the orphans he had met, to the Akuma, to all the people hurt by the Order, he vowed to save them and help them regain their normal life. It was stupid, he knew that; such an idealistic dream would never be achieved. It was something best left in the recesses of one's mind to rot away. But he wouldn't give up.

Allen was going to do it. And he needed Kanda to make it possible.

To be more specific, he needed whatever the Order was hiding, even things they didn't want anymore and threw out. Anything that The Black Order was using had to be of high quality, had to be powerful, had to be useful to some degree. There was no way Allen was going to let something like that be executed or sent to a dump, be it another failed experiment like Robin or a slightly flawed human weapon (like.. like Kanda).

Cross was working outside of his assigned area, he wasn't getting paid to be a hero and save the world (not that he would admit he was doing something like that, anyway). They had no funds, no money, nothing that could possibly be used to save up for large-scale experimentation. They had to depend on the Order, they had to sneak things out, steal their ideas, take their weapons—and then they'd use those weapons against their makers.

True. He was being just as merciless as they were, treating these things like _things_ instead of the _people_ they really were. It was morally and ethically wrong, something that should never be done ever again.

When the.. _plague_ first started, the relatively wealthy (the ones who were still alive, anyway) took to making the poorer, lower class people work for them in exchange for tidbits of food and coins. It was slavery in its primitive, infantry stage.

And just as quickly as slaves were hired, they were gone. In the blink of an eye, one person's "slaves" could go missing without a trace. And what else could be expected? They had no hope working for someone, they had no belongings, they had nothing to tie them down; no laws, no regulations, just the promise of meager food and shelter. What was out there wasn't bad at first, but it soon snowballed into something much, much worse.

Once those "slaves" learned that their town was going to be overrun by parasites with no hope of getting help, they had no reason to stay. So they left. The outside world was full of unknowns, but what good was staying in a town where death was almost certain?

It was the same method Allen used to convince some of the Order members to help him. The Finders were easy to convince, mostly because they didn't know about the Order's horrible experiments (Allen didn't tell them about those, of course; he needed them to be able to report back about the goings on, not leave the Order outright) and they liked living their life.

_"But why stay in that tower when all you're going to do is serve someone else? Why not try being a hero? After all, you only have one life.. why not make the most of it?"_

Such a simple task.. and it made him sick to his stomach.

The world would never be saved by people who only wanted to be heroes and have their names up in lights, their stories written down in history, wanting to have a legacy be made. Selfish desires poorly hidden behind the weak façade of wanting to help mankind.

It was disgusting.

It was revolting.

It.. it was something Allen thought he'd be hearing for the rest of his life from everyone around him. He hated lies like that, hated that there were people who could still joke around at times like these, when the world was practically falling apart right underneath the rubbery soles of their shoes. (Assuming their shoes had rubber soles, that is. Allen's didn't.)

He hated it because he couldn't do it. He hated it because he didn't have the time to waste. He hated that he couldn't turn a blind eye to it, couldn't pretend everything was fine and dandy. He hated all of it.

He was jealous, he knew that. He envied them.

Allen Walker was envious of the children being cradled in their mothers' arms. Allen Walker was envious of the little girls with the bows in their hair. Allen Walker was envious of the little boys with the round faces and the roofs over their head. Allen Walker was envious of most of the people on this whole goddamned planet.

And yet, it was because of this envy, because of his want for a normal life, because of what other people had that he didn't...

It was because of all this that he wanted to help them, save them. It was strange, he knew. Cross was never the type of man to skirt around a subject (or skirt around at all—he preferred pants). Mana thought it was strange too, but even the sort-of-disapproval from his sort-of-adopted father wasn't enough to stop Allen Walker.

These men hunting through garbage dumps on the side of the road had wives. These wives tending the cooking fires and scavenging for scraps had children. These children with their bright eyes and innocent minds had friends. These people living in this pitiful town.. had futures.

These futures, dim though they were, were not something that should be snuffed out just because of some stupid parasites. They deserved to come true. They deserved to be pursued, to blossom and grow, to nourish the land and return it back to the way it was before Allen was even born, back to a way that Allen would never be able to see, back to a way that would better for all of them.

Many people called him selfish, especially because of his attitude. He knew that he was, to an extent. He wanted to do so much-- save the world, save the Akuma, save the people. He wanted many things.

And, as he closed his eyes for a short rest on the bed of some unknown stranger, he realized for the umpteenth time that.. he didn't care what other people thought.

...If being selfish was the only way to pave his road for being selfless, he'd do it. No matter what the cost.

He didn't have anything left to lose, anyway...

* * *

"Inspector Leverrier, sir!"

The man stopped his slightly angry pacing and rounded on the poor, hapless Finder that had been told to report to him.

"What is it?"

"U-um, sir, it's quite sudden, but Yuu Kanda has disappeared from the infirmary." The Finder gulped and fought the urge to take a step back from this frightening man. He took a deep breath, straightened his back, and continued. "Surveillance cameras have reported seeing him heading in the general direction of his room—"

"Has anyone confirmed this?" Leverrier interrupted as he stopped pacing. "Someone bring him back to the infirmary, he hasn't been released yet!"

"Y-yes, sir!"

Leverrier grit his teeth as the Finder scrambled out of his office, racing for the nearest elevator.

This had never happened before, not in the 10 or so years Kanda had been at the Order. He had always been an obedient soldier, resting when he was told to, fighting when he could. Granted, he did try to get back into action earlier than he should at some times, as though he were all too eager to jump back into the battlefield. It was never an issue in the past, so why was it one now?

If there was one thing the Inspector feared, it was that his efforts for the past 20 years would go to waste, just as Allen claimed. Granted, the majority of those two decades were spent searching for a concept, working on the idea, refining it, researching everything possible; it would be simple to start over and make another human weapon.

But was there enough time?

At the moment, the Dark Matter parasites were multiplying at an increasing rate, while the Order's own scavenging for the remaining Light Matter repeatedly turned up fewer and fewer results. They were getting harder and harder to find as time went on. And they had no explanations as to why this was happening.

They didn't exactly have much time to research this, but it would all be fine if they could just eradicate the rest of the Dark Matter. Finding people who could stomach and control their white counterparts worked, but it was slowing down. It didn't help that most Exorcists needed to be trained in the art of combat and instructed on how to use their Anti-Akuma weapon before they could even be put on the field.

Even Lavi, who had a memory that old Bookman could be proud of (but would never admit), took at least 4 months of training before he was in shape. Being from the Clan of Bookman, the redhead never did much strenuous exercise, though he was willing to learn. Most of the people the Order picked up had little experience in fighting, and those always took longer to teach. Others could catch on easily.

Others.. like Allen.

Perhaps it was because the Light Matter had become part of his arm that he could control it so effortlessly. Perhaps there was just something about the way he lived his life that made it so simple. Regardless.. Allen Walker was the only child, the only person, to become acquainted with and able to utilize his Anti-Akuma weapon even after a negative synchronization rate.

And because they had made the mistake of tossing him out, the Order missed out on a large amount of valuable information. Allen refused to let them run any tests either, refused to answer questions—he kept all the data to himself. Leverrier suspected that he was planning something with that much data, but he had no grounds to base it on other than the fact that Allen despised the Order.

Even after they formed a temporary, unknown 'alliance', he was hardly what one would call a reliable ally. (Leverrier conveniently ignored the fact that he himself was the one who rarely returned any of Allen's calls.) Always doing things on his own, taking resources and giving little in return, none of it was much of a problem since he was the one they would send the failed Exorcists to. Lala was one, Robin being the most recent to be sent away.

What in the world was he planning to do with those failures..?

"Inspector Leverrier, sir."

Shaking his head, Leverrier brushed away those thoughts. It was none of his business what that boy did, as long as it didn't interfere with the Inspector's own work. But it was interfering, and so it was entirely reasonable for Leverrier to take drastic measures like informing the Grand Generals.

He spoke into the communication device attached to the collar of his shirt.

"What is it?"

"We have a confirmed sighting of Yuu Kanda heading to his room. Head Matron also wants him to be brought back to the infirmary for further rest."

"Then do that. Lock him up if you have to, strap him down, make sure he does not go anywhere until he is fully recovered."

"Yes sir."

The communicator crackled with static, then went silent.

_Well_, Leverrier decided. _Might as well go and see for myself what he was thinking about while escaping from the infirmary._

The Inspector fixed his tie and stepped out of his office, headed for the elevator, and hit the buttons for the 53rd floor.

* * *

I leaned against the wall, my breathing slightly labored from climbing up all those stairs. The elevator would have been a better choice, but if anyone found out, it would be simple to just cut the power. I should have waited a day or two before trying to get to my room, but I felt like it was useless to sit in bed any longer.

Then again, I was going to be leaving here in a few days anyway, it didn't really matter what I did until then.

Even so, I hated lying around doing nothing. In the past, I only obeyed because I knew I would be healed soon, and then I'd be back on my feet, destroying and saving Akuma. This time, I had no idea what was to become of me—other than the fact that it wouldn't be very nice.

I'd never been to Stonehenge before, other than during a short tour for new Exorcists. It wasn't a pretty place. Considering the indefinite amount of time I would be there, confined or otherwise, I had little doubts that I would come out alive.

But now wasn't the time to worry about it.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up. A passing Finder had stopped talking to her friends to ask; I may as well give her an answer.

"Fine."

"A-are you sure? You don't like so good.."

With a grunt, I pushed off the wall and trudged on, keeping one hand on the stone to steady myself in case I lost my balance. I would never admit to feeling weak, but, really, it'd only been about an hour since I woke up after a week of unconsciousness. And all I that I had since then was a slice of apple, a kiss (a French kiss, now that I thought about it—but that didn't really matter), and a tracking device disguised as a pill. Hardly filling.

Granted, I should've been going down to the canteen for food right about now, but I felt like sleeping on a real bed, first. Honestly, an organization like this made so much money, why not invest in some spring mattresses instead of slabs of rock?

I climbed up the last flight of stairs to the 53rd floor, sighing in relief. My bed was only a hundred more steps away.

I opened the door and stumbled in, blinking blearily in the light. Why were the lights on? Hardly anyone ever visited my room, and usually they would leave the door open.

Deciding that the janitor must've forgotten to turn it off (it smelled a bit like bleach and antiseptic), I closed the door and leaned back against it.

And almost fell over at the sight of someone else in my bed.

Someone named Allen.

_How the hell did he know where my room is?!_

After a few moments, he still made no movement. Scowling, I marched over, ready to ask him what he was doing in my room..

..only to find his eyes closed and his breathing even and light.

Allen was asleep. And not properly, might I add. His legs were hanging over the side, as though he were previously sitting up and then spontaneously decided to lie down right then and there. It seemed like that was exactly what he did. But why?

Why was he in my room? Hadn't he been thrown out? What was he still doing in the place he hated?

I had questions, but no answers, and none that would be answered for a while. Not until he woke up.

I frowned and wondered what the best method would be to wake him up. Kick his legs? Shake him silly? Smother him with a pillow? (Maybe not that.)

At length, I decided on just shaking him awake. It seemed the safest and least likely to earn a violent reaction. So I reached over to grab his shoulders and get this over with—he was getting dirt and grime on my blankets.

But before I even touched him, his head rolled to the side, sighing softly and contently. Even in that uncomfortable position, he managed to make such a peaceful expression that I wondered if this was the same child who was arguing with Leverrier less than an hour ago. If not for that bandage on the left side of his face, I might've not recognized him—actually, I doubt I could ever forget his face, what with how much it looked like _kaa-san_'s.

My expression softened. I never could get angry at _kaa-san_, despite that she nearly killed me. She was the one who brought me into this world, the one who taught me so much along with _tou-san_.

She did so much for me.. even though we weren't related by blood.

Perhaps it was because of some sort of instinct that I couldn't bring myself to hate her, even when she treated me like an experiment. Who knows

She was dead now. I'd never be able to ask her.

"..Why are you touching my face?"

I blinked, staring down into a dull ocher eye. Confusion and surprise flitted in and out, replaced with contempt and dislike. I hadn't realized that my hand had wandered over to the gauze over his injured eye during my thoughts. Unbeknownst to my otherwise occupied mind, Allen had woken silently and was looking slightly uncomfortable. A light pink flush dusted his cheekbones, prominent against his pale skin.

Pulling my hand back, I crossed my arms and scowled. My mind supplied only one response in that short moment.

"Why the hell are you sleeping on my bed?"


	13. Experiment 12: Face It

So I think it's only been like a month since I last updated, yeah? Wicked! Kind of! Because I should be updating more often and with longer chapters, just like the results of the poll on my profile demand!

Woe!

….Happy belated Valentine's Day, guize.

/chokesomgewwvalentines

**Warnings:** Um. Cursing. Lots. I let it loose. Drama! Yullen! No kisses, but there's references to them.

**Disclaimer:** I, uh, don't own D. Gray Man. But goddamn do I love reading about Kanda's past. It's beautiful and sad. Really. :'D

I think my writing style changed. Hm. *stares*

P.S.: Something happened to the file editing thing on here. It's doing all this crap with the wickets and idk if something looks weird, you can blame the website. Will probably make a revision once this stupid document manager is fixed. If. Ever. B|

_**

* * *

**_

_**Face It**_

* * *

"I.. um.."

Allen's lips twitched and he tried to come up with a plausible excuse.

"..Well?"

"I.. got lost?"

It was such a cliché response that I could only stare in disbelief.

"Don't look at me like that!" He pouted, sitting up. "I've only been here a few times, I can't remember everything."

"Didn't you get kicked out?" I raised an eyebrow. "You shouldn't even be wandering around."

"Like you're one to talk. I heard 'em say it'd take weeks for you to heal," Allen huffed, brushing aside a stray strand of hair. "You look like you can barely stand up right now."

I scowled. He didn't need to know that it was mostly true. While I did heal faster than a normal person, even I had my limits. And right now, my limits were telling me to shut up and go to sleep. (In a normal, comfortable bed, mind you. Not on a slab of concrete.)

"Anyway, I was just tired and I needed a place to crash for a bit. Nothing to worry about."

"Who said I was worried?" I scoffed, looking anywhere but at Allen.

"Your face, it tells all."

"The hell it does."

"_Speaking of which_," Allen ignored my words completely. "Why _were_ you touching my face, anyhow?"

My hand twitched. I scowled some more.

"I wasn't." Well, I actually was, but he didn't need to know that. "You're imagining things."

"Liar! I saw you staring when I woke up."

"_You're imagining it._"

"No I wasn't, you just don't want to admit it!"

"Fucking Christ—you were _sleeping on my bed_!"

"So? I was tired!" He put a hand over his chest as though he were appalled. "You can't blame me for falling asleep!"

"Yes I can. Find another room."

He sputtered briefly, then crossed his arms and glared balefully.

"It was just a short nap, geez. Don't bite my head off for it."

"Che. As if you didn't sleep enough already this past week."

"For your information, I _didn't_." He rolled his shoulders vaguely, pointedly looking elsewhere. "I was out for a day when we arrived. Didn't get any sleep after that. There's no way I can close my eyes in this place."

"Why the hell are you even still _here_?If you hate it so much, just leave. No one's stopping you."

I was met with the silence of a pause. When there was no answer for a couple of seconds, I forced myself to stop being interested in the wall of my room and look at him. Allen had his gaze averted to his hands.

"…I was.. waiting.. for you to wake up."

_He was.. waiting for me? Was he worried? No, that can't be. He hardly knows me, and he hates the Order, he can't possibly be worried in a situation like this._

I scowled.

"What, you thought I'd croak and ruin your plans?"

"Wha—no! I was just—" Allen bit his lower lip, worrying at it instead of continuing. Something was stopping him from saying what he wanted to say, from saying what I wanted to hear.

"Che. Well, lucky you, I'm still alive. Bravo. Now get the fuck out."

I was angry now. It never crossed my mind exactly what kind of relationship there was between me and Allen, but I hated that he was hiding something when it concerned me, especially to the extent that he would stay in a place he absolutely _detested_ for a _whole fucking week._

"Or do you have another 'phase' or your plan that you need to see carried out? Because if you do, hurry up and finish it. Stop bothering the rest of us who actually need to _work_."

"No, you're wrong! Stop making assumptions like that—"

Again, my rage did not allow him to finish his sentence.

"What the hell do you expect?!" I growled, advancing on him while I poured out every doubt I'd been holing up since I met him. "Ordering me to do this and that, not telling me anything, yet you think I'd just automatically _trust you_ like that?!"

Allen stood up to counteract my advance, but I only seized that chance to grab the front of his shirt, just as he had done earlier in the infirmary. The only difference was that I threw him towards the door instead of.. instead of what he'd done.

He stumbled, stopping just before he collided with stone, and turned around, flustered.

"Look, Kanda, just—_listen_, okay?"

In response to this, I slammed the palm of my hand against the wall next to his head, glaring angrily, taking little pleasure in his immediately shocked expression at our sudden proximity.

"Listen? To what? More of your preaching lies? Why the fuck should I listen to you? You know, last time I _listened_, I ended up unconscious for a wee—"

"_I was worried about you_!"

His outburst held a distressed tone that shut me up. A hundred scenarios whirled through my mind, dozens of possibilities, endless questions that I'd never chance to ask.

Perhaps he was truly worried all along..?

"I was.. _worried_.. I wanted to know if.. if you were going to make it or- or not. That's why I.. stayed here… even though I hate it." He spoke the last part quietly, almost in a whisper, as though he was ashamed of admitting it. Then again, his eye was averted and his face tilted down, so I couldn't tell. "But, you're right.. I _was_ worried about you dying because it'd ruin my plans, and I also had to plant the tracking device, so that's another reason why I stayed."

Bad move.

"So it's just an excuse, huh? Che. Should've known."

"Kanda, what—"

"Shut _up_." I glared coldly. Seeing the frustrated and pained twist of his eyebrows made by chest clench and tighten uncomfortably, but I wasn't about to back down now. "Don't bring me into these idiotic ideas of yours anymore."

"But I wasn't—!"

"_Go_!"

Hurt and confusion flared behind his eyes, this time lingering for a little bit longer before the mask of bland irritation set in again.

"I'm not going _anywhere_," Allen hissed, his voice just barely able to remain steady. Whether he was upset or angry, I couldn't tell. "Not until I'm sure you're okay."

"I'm fucking _wonderful,_ no thanks to you. Dandy as hell. _You can leave now._"

My head snapped to the side as a fist suddenly connected with my cheek. I blinked a few times, wondering what the hell just happened. Upon turning back to look, I found Allen with his first still slightly raised, jaw clamped tightly together. His left hand twitched at his side, holding back another blow, one that I would be ready for.

His one visible eye wavered and melted into a pool of chocolate, then steeled and hardened into an orb of dull gold. Alluring as always, even in his rage, even in mine.

He swallowed, but didn't speak.

Eyebrow ticking in annoyance, I retaliated by lashing out, knocking Allen's head back against the stone wall. His knees nearly buckled and gave out but he braced himself, leaning back heavily as he wiped a thin trickle of blood from his lower lip.

I was only slightly disappointed by that action. The red added some color and vibrancy to his pale skin, it was a shame to see it go away.

"If I'm the only thing keeping you here, forget about me and leave."

Allen stayed silent. Gingerly, he touched the back of his head but found no wound. His fingers, thing and dark red, curled into a fist, and a forced laugh fell from his stained lips.

"..I can't do that, Kanda." His voice faltered slightly, but I ignored it. "I can't.. I won't, I'm--"

"Shut the fuck up." His perseverance was touching—or would've been, if only I wasn't fuming so angrily in my mind. "I'm not listening to your excuses. Get the out of my room—hell, just stay out of my goddamn _life_."

His entire form stiffened for a second, but he made no move to leave. I was about to open the door and throw him out myself when he finally pushed forward, shoving me aside and storming further into my room.

"Hey. _Hey_, idiot." I followed for a few steps when he didn't reply, until he reached the empty nightstand by my bed. "The door's the other way, brat. Che. Then again, you're probably too _blind_ to see—"

I never finished speaking. Remember that nightstand I was talking about? The one next to my bed?

It was hurtling past my head faster than I could see. The velocity dislodged a few strands of my hair, and before I could even register, once again, _what the hell just happened_, the stand hit the door.

And then, well, the door splintered and gave way to the force of the nightstand, _exploding_ outward in a flurry of wooden shrapnel and pieces of mahogany. Somewhere among the clattering, the brass doorknob struck stone with a sharp ring.

I stared silently, admittedly surprised. Who knew that such a malnourished child could harbor so much strength?

Allen looked up again, supporting his left side—the side he used to throw the nightstand. His expression was that of masked pain, and his breathing was shaky and labored but steady. I almost brushed it off as something insignificant, unworthy of attention, and meant to ask him what the hell he was doing, but then—

…But then a solitary, crystalline teardrop welled up against the lower lid of his one visible eye and tipped over the feathery lashes, leaving a glistening trail as he traveled down the pale skin of his cheeks, past a pale-pink lipped mouth, disappearing under a childishly sharp chin. The slightly wet surface shimmered in the light from the doorway, as if to say '_It's your fault. You hurt him. It's all your fault.'_

And the worst fucking part was that I _cared_.

I _cared_ that it was somehow my fault, I _cared_ that I was the reason behind that one salty drop of liquid. I had no idea why Allen suddenly started crying, I had no idea what I had done—I just fucking _cared_.

And, Christ almighty, I just wanted to reach out and wipe it away and apologize for whatever the hell I did wrong. I wanted to tell him to stay, somehow, even though I didn't know _why_ I wanted that. I wanted to hold him and tell him that it was okay, that everything would be fine from now own, even though it fucking _wouldn't_.

But I couldn't. I couldn't do any of that, I couldn't move at all. My arm was frozen, my voice was lost, my expression was set into an even deeper scowl.

I wasn't supposed to care. It wasn't supposed to _matter_.

Allen was just a blood annoying outsider. There was no _reason_ to want him the way I did.

(I try to be logical whenever I can, and this was _not_ logical. Shit, _nothing_ was logical when it involved this brat.)

His eye fluttered and closed briefly as his hand came up to calmly wipe the tear away, as if it meaningless insect, as though nothing had happened.

He stayed strong.

"…I know where the door is, Kanda," Allen said quietly. "I just didn't want you to waste your energy opening it for me."

I said nothing as he started walking again, this time in the correct direction of the hole where the door used to be. Or, rather, as he started _limping_. He was favoring his left side, not only his eye, but his ribs as well.

"It's just a pulled muscle," he muttered, barely above a whisper. "Nothing to worry about."

"Che." The shock of the flying nightstand wore off quickly as I watched him limp away. "…I wasn't worried."

He leaned against the open doorway for a moment. I couldn't see his expression with the way his back was turned towards me, but I swore I heard a soft, cynical laugh.

"..Of course you weren't."

It was painful to hear.

* * *

As he left, I was reminded of just how young he was. A mere child of 15 who should have nothing to do with the war to begin with.

_"Stay out of my goddamn life."_

Perhaps it was a harsh line to say to him, but it was for the best. After all, the only life I'd ever known was this of war. It wasn't a place for children. It wasn't somewhere Allen should be. It was a cruel world.

It was a world where a single mistake could cost a life, your own or someone else's. A world where the only thing we could do was destroy the infected humans in hopes that another handful would be spared the pain. A world where pleasant train rides were accompanied by life-or-death situations. A world where our clothes became a target, a beacon for danger, unwanted wherever we went because we drew in trouble even as we got rid of it. A world where, after defeating the enemy, all I'd want to do was to just fall over, lie down, and look up at the dull blue sky.

A sky so close, yet so far.

A future more easily said than done.

A cruel future that few of us would ever live to see.

_Of course I wasn't worried.. How the hell can I accept emotions that I shouldn't even __**have**__ in the first place..?_

* * *

He never expected Kanda to care. He never expected to _care_ that Kanda didn't care. He never expected anything to happen between them. Never.

But something did happen.

And, just as a hint, it wasn't the kiss.

Allen was never fond of kisses. His mother rarely ever had time to give him any as a child. Rhode always insisted on them even when they were young. He hated being doted on. It made him feel.. weak. He put up with it, of course, because Rhode always got upset when he refused. And it was just a kiss on the cheek anyway, even if it was a huge deal back when he was 3 years old.

Cooties. Eurgh.

So, anyway. Allen prided himself on how strong he could be, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. After all the shite he'd been through, he didn't think there was anything that could throw him for a loop anymore, save for rape or a brutal mugging or something along those lines.

No, he never expected that his heart could feel like it was being torn apart the way it felt now. He never expected that someone could shoot a proverbial bullet through his chest without even meaning it. He never expected that Kanda, _Kanda_, of all people, could do this to him.

Granted, he didn't know the man very well. Only that he was an experiment that was apparently successful and being used in the war, that he'd been in Japan, and that he was the experiment that Allen's parents had worked on for the majority of his life.

That's right. _His_ life. Not _theirs._ _His_.

Allen's parents abandoned him, all for the sake of their stupid job. All for the sake of a pair of developing fetuses that required their attention 24/7, so much so that they couldn't even bother to take care of their own _child_. All for the sake of the future of this bloody world.

He hated them. He hated that they left him, that they thought a mere _experiment_ was more important that their child of flesh and blood.

And yet, despite that, he loved his parents. He loved that, because they'd left him, he was able to meet Mana. He loved that, because they'd left, he could grow strong, that he learned how to live on his own.

He did love his parents. Because they thought their work was more important, Allen was able to meet Kanda, an eternal enigma, someone so like himself yet so different that he was on an entirely different level.

Ever since Allen found out almost a decade ago why his parents left him, he'd been searching for this _experiment_ for-fucking-ever. And he found him.

He was harsh. He was cold. He was merciless. He was Kanda.

And Kanda was beautiful.

…Too beautiful.

Kanda was something that Allen should never touch, for fear of dirtying him more than he already was. After all, what kind of child hates their own parents? How could he even _dare_, when his parents were the ones who brought Kanda into this world?

Allen didn't understand much about parent-child relationships, but he felt like he was hating Kanda's very parents, even though the man didn't have any.

So he pushed him away.

It wasn't hard. He just had to be himself.

Kanda, if he truly was the perfect specimen, would have no romantic preferences whatsoever. And if he did, they would be towards females in order to possibly make more of.. of his own kind. (The thought of it sickened Allen, but he had to accept it.) There was no way his sexual preferences could be inclined towards the same gender.

So when Kanda wasn't outrageously disgusted at Allen's first crack at 'kissing and making up', he had to laugh. He had to laugh, both at Kanda and at himself, at the absurdity of it all. Of course Kanda shouldn't be disgusted, if he wasn't supposed to have any emotions at all.

But he did have emotions. Yet he wasn't disgusted.

And he was still hanging on to that image of _kaa-san_, of Allen's own mother.

It made no sense. Either Kanda _was_ or _wasn't_ a success. He had emotions, yet sometimes he didn't. Not only was it confusing, it was mysterious, and Allen had to admit that he was.. somewhat attracted to it.

Though that's not to say it was the reason behind his kissing Kanda in the infirmary. He really had no idea why he did that, only that it.. didn't feel as wrong as it should've felt. That, and Kanda didn't exactly shove him away, either.

It brought his hopes up, something he had vowed never to let happen.

Why?

Because his hopes were dashed, grinded, and mashed into a bloody pulp in that same day, in that same fucking _hour_, when Kanda told him to _stay out of his goddamn life_.

They say that the bigger you are, the harder you fall.

And thinking that as emotionless experiment would reciprocate his emotions simply because the experiment just happened to not be disgusted by a kiss from him was a bad, bad, bad idea.

Allen staggered out of the tower's entrance, stumbling into the downpour, sidestepping large puddles, leaning against brick buildings. He turned his chin up towards the gray sky, letting the curtains of water mingle with his silent tears.

He clutched at his left side, at his arm, at his chest, his ribs, anywhere, _somewhere_—

_..It hurts, Mana._


	14. Experiment 13: Dancing in the Moonlight

Aaaahhh so short, this chapter. Sorry! I'm having some trouble making it cooperate and move forward, so there might be a lapse between this chapter and the next. Meanwhile, I'm going to try and type up the other 4 chapters for _Let The White Heart Beat_ that I have written down. And do research, of course—for more fics. :D

Still no beta. Typos are being cleaned out as we speak, but some may still get through.

**Warnings:** Cursing, F-bombs, gore, defiling Stonehenge (in a non-smutty way), and Lavi. :)

**Disclaimer:** I r not owner uf dee gurei mann.

P.S.: SO I THINK CHAPTER 194 (or was it 193?) OF DGM WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND SAD. Thanks Hoshino for shoving me towards KandAlma. Now I have to hold onto my Yullen rope even harder.

Title and lyrics are from **Dancing In the Moonlight**, by **Toploader**.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Dancing in the Moonlight**_

* * *

Lavi was not an idiot.

Contrary to what many people thought and believed, he was not, in any sense of the word, 'retarded'.

Yeah, he was curious. Curious enough to risk a limb getting too close to a live Dark Matter parasite. Curious enough to chance pissing Kanda off just to see if he had any new reactions or death threats that day. Curious enough to try and talk to a few captive Akuma.

Curious and dumb enough to unlock a cage for a 'young girl', who ended up being an Akuma.

He just forgot to worry about his own safety sometimes.

Needless to say, she had a liking for clawing at faces. He lost an eye that time in Roanapur. Never knew what became of her. Didn't even know why he was still alive, either, why she hadn't killed him outright.

..Not that Lavi was complaining. It was nice to be alive.

But perhaps someone should be reminding him of that fact sometime soon.

"Komui, where's Leverrier?"

"Lavi? Why are you up?" The supervisor frowned, setting down the papers in his hands. "You should still be resting."

"Never mind that, I feel fine." Yeah. Someone needed to strap Lavi down to a bed. He definitely wasn't feeling fine, but his curiosity just had to be satisfied. "Where's the Inspector? And Yuu, for that matter. They're both missing!"

"Lavi, please go back to bed."

"But Komui--!"

Komui sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Work was piling up again, especially in the past few days. There was too much to deal with all at once.

"Kanda's gone. The Inspector has his own agenda to attend to."

"Agenda? What agenda? What do mean he's gone?!" The questions poured out despite Lavi's condition, weak as it was. "And Allen, what happened to him?"

"Lavi," Reever cut in, placing a hand on the young man's shoulder. He looked just as stressed and tired as Komui. "..Kanda's been taken away."

Lavi's eyes (well, eye) widened.

"..To where?"

The Australian glanced at Komui, who only gave another resigned sigh.

"Stonehenge, Lavi." The name rang a bell in Lavi's mind. Warning bells. Warning bells he decided to ignore. "Leverrier's putting him through—"

"—remedial lessons."

Reever blinked, then frowned slightly.

"You knew?"

Lavi shook his head.

"Yuu mentioned it once. He hates that place." Lavi made a thoughtful hum. It must've been bad, if Kanda was there even though he hated it. Then again, Leverrier wasn't the type to accept 'no' as an answer. "..I'll go too."

"What? Lavi, you're in no condition to—"

"Komui, I'm a _bookman_, remember?" Lavi grinned as best as he can. True, he was tired and sore, but he wasn't going to let this chance slip away from him. "I don't think the old Bookman has records of those 'lessons', so I figure, why not go get them myself, yeah?"

"We'll have to confirm that with Bookman first, Lavi."

"I'll keep ya updated on Yuu, too."

Reever and Komui looked at each other, both recognizing the signs that Lavi was not backing down. He had made up his mind.

A nifty part of being in the Clan of Bookman was that, despite being associated with the Black Order, they could act on their own.

"Alright.. But not until you're completely healed, Lavi. Get back to the infirmary!"

Well.. most of the time.

* * *

One week.

Seven days, six nights.

One hundred and forty-eight hours.

Eight thousand, eight hundred ,and eighty minutes.

Six hundred thousand, eight hundred seconds.

Thirty-one thousand, five hundred corpses.

Stonehenge was crawling with Akuma and Dark Matter. I had no idea _why_, only that there was something about this location that drew them in like moths to a flame.

It was fine in the beginning. The first two days, starting from the second I was shoved off the train, led to the giant stone structure, and unbound, they were _easy_. Simple-minded Akuma, effortless to destroy, like they'd been trained to be sitting targets.

Unnerving, in their own right.

But still easy to get rid of.

The Level 2s were only slightly more of a challenge. _Slightly_. They were more sentient, they could speak, they could laugh and show 'emotions'. But they still had predictable patterns that I could figure out after killing the first 20 of them. All in all, it proved for some decent exercise. I was even able to test out activating _Mugen_ in this big, open space, though I did make sure not to hit any of the giant rocks. Not that they could topple over from that kind of force anyway.

By the end of day 5, I had cleaved open most of the ground around Stonehenge with _Mugen_ activated. It cleared out the Akuma quickly and easily, even though it sapped my strength. And then they started coming in by the swarm.

Morning was met with a hundred Akuma, sitting around, waiting. After that they arrived by the dozen every minute. It was insane.

It was survival.

Now, it was eerily silent. Nothing stirred, not the wind, not the grasses, nothing at all. That was fine. I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten at all. My only beverage was the rainwater, something that started falling more frequently as of late.

It rained like this the day Allen left. My thoughts wandered back again, but I hated it. My memories were screwing up his image. Every time I thought about him, all that came to mind was something akin to the time Linali realized one of Finders had died, one that had been one of her close friends. All she did was slouch over the coffin, crying. Crying. Crying.

Allen didn't even cry that much, and yet that one single tear spoke volumes, told me more than all of Linali's tears could ever communicate. Because I knew that he wasn't the type to cry—or so I assumed, from what I knew of him. He was strong, prideful, childish, stubborn… but not so easily upset.

…Or so I assumed.

I sighed. The air smelled like blood and oil. Blood, oil, and corpses. Stomach acid from the bodies ate through and started digesting from the inside out around the second day. The smell had continued getting worse as the week went on. Only recently did it start seeming like 'normal', and even then I knew it must smell like shit to anyone who would be walking by.

_Worse_ than shit, even.

Where did l of these Akuma even come from? The nearest town was miles away, it would've taken longer than a few seconds to get to Stonehenge...

...Unless they were already planning to congregate in this exact location for one reason or another and had been traveling for days, weeks even. It would've explained why Leverrier wanted to send me out here so quickly.

It wasn't anything at all like one of his usual 'remedial lessons'. This mindless killing of Akuma wasn't going to teach me anything—there wasn't even the usual instructor nearby to repeat suggestions 24/7, this..

..It was just that.

Mindless slaughter.

For what reason was I doing this? Sure I was killing Akuma, but why? Granted, I never needed a reason why in the past—I just had to. It was my duty to kill these things, I had to do it, because it was my duty to kill them, it was my job to save people from being killed by them, because...

Because..............

* * *

It was a horrible sight to behold. He'd seen Kanda rouse up trouble before, just by being heavily injured. Frantic, chaotic, rushing, frenzied—those were the most amusing moments for Lavi.

Never before, however, had he ever seen anything like this.

It was deathly silent, like a graveyard in the middle of the night. Except for the fact that it wasn't quite the middle of the night. And this was no way in hell near a graveyard.

"..Yuu?"

Lavi was answered with silence and the disgusting stench of rotting mechanical flesh. It was too dark to see well, not to mention his right eye was still bothering him.. even though it wasn't even there anymore.

Something shifted on his left and he turned. In the middle of the circle of stones was a solitary boulder, not quite as big as the bluestones. Just a normal boulder.

A normal boulder with a Dark Matter parasite impaled into the stone.

Lavi thought it was dead, but apparently not—it gave a deafening screech, wriggling its spindly legs uselessly, and then fell limp. Silent.

Suffocatingly silent.

Something moved again. The redhead kept a hand hovering over his thigh where the holster for his weapon was. The voice that reached his ears was one he was relieved to hear, yet it was so chilling, so calm, too calm for a situation like this.

"..Did you know, Lavi?"

Kanda's flat, defeated tone almost took him by surprise. Where was he? What happened? This had to be the first time Lavi had ever heard Kanda sound almost.. lifeless.

It was a frightening thing.

"Know what, Yuu? Where are you?"

But he didn't let it show in his reply. A _bookman_ knew how to disguise his emotions, knew how to kill them, knew how to render them unimportant-- because they were exactly that. Emotions don't belong in history.

But it was still scary being here.

"Yuu..?"

The drizzle had stopped a while ago and the clouds were moving again, slowly by surely. Inch by inch, foot by foot, meter by meter, the grassy hill in the distance was being lit up by the moon. Closer, closer, closer still it crept, until finally—

"I've heard that Stonehenge looks best under a full moon."

Lavi covered his mouth and nose with his hand, the smell finally registering again and bombarding his senses relentlessly. He took a step back, heard a crunch, and found the shell of a parasite crumbling under his boot. The grass around that area would soon die in a few hours, infected by the virus in the blood.

"B-bullshit, Yuu," the redhead croaked, swallowing with a grimace as the odor followed the air down his esophagus. "..Ain't nothin' nice about this."

A string of entrails caught his eye, strewn on the ground, on the small boulders, on dead bodies, everywhere—_everywhere_. Rips protruded from seemingly nowhere, sticking up from the dirt like a grave marker, cracked and bleeding marrow, morbidly cradling the remaining chunks of flesh and mechanical organs that an Akuma consisted of.

The breeze swept by, taking with it some of the horrible smell, but also tipping over a severed head. It landed with a dull, muffled 'thump', only alerting the sole observer to the decapitated corpse nearby, fingers still twitching as the gears slowly ticked to a halt.

But, god, the worst part—wasn't the bodies, wasn't the death, wasn't Kanda looking up at the Moon like everything was fucking okay.

It was the blood. Everywhere, everywhere, everything was stained red. The Sarsans looked like a child had taken a giant paintbrush to them, smearing crimson across the surfaces and spilling onto the grass where dead emerald fields melted into shimmering ruby blades. The bluestones weren't better off. Being smaller and closer to the ground, they were nearly dunked in the iron-copper liquid-oil, slowly dripping down and being washed by the earlier drizzle—

Only now the rain had stopped, and they were just slowly and silently oozing, dribbling to the ground like melted icing on a fucking cake. And that was a horrible analogy, because Lavi so loved his cakes.

Which brings the subject back to what he'd meant to ask at the beginning.

"..Did you do all this, Yuu?"

He knew the answer, he feared it, but he still needed to know. He needed a count of every dead Akuma. For the records.

"Che. Does it look like anyone else is here besides you and me?"

For the recods.

_No, there isn't. And that's what scares me the most, Kanda._

…_You._

"Heads up, rabbit." Wearily, Kanda pulled his sword out from the stone and tossed the parasite's corpse aside. "We've got company."

In the distance, a dull cloud was moving towards them at an alarming speed. Too fast to be a rain cloud, too flat to be a tornado, too oddly shaped to be anything but—

Akuma.

The _bookman_ apprentice's hand twitched.

"Don't even try it. You don't stand a chance."

All too willingly, Lavi stepped back. Of course he wouldn't stand a chance. He wasn't a monster like Kanda. Of course not.

The fastest Akuma, a Level 2 looking like a deformed soccer ball (Lavi wouldn't be surprised if it was kicked over here), fell towards Kanda at a dangerous speed. A second later, it was falling to the ground in two pieces, leaving a spray of crimson red behind to reflect the glow of the moon.

Five minutes later, four more Akuma were in quarters, heads lolling and croaking, and Lavi couldn't help wondering…

..just how much longer would this worldwide war continue..?

_

* * *

_

_You can't dance and stay uptight  
It's a supernatural delight  
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight  
Dancing in the moonlight_


	15. Experiment 14: Under the Moonlight

LOOK AN UPDATE. /points elsewhere

..my god I apologize for completely ignoring reviews for chapter 13 (and the one before that, and the one before that.. and the one before that...). I've just been caught up with school work lately, college crap, life in general, and I seem to just lose my drive for replying to reviews. BUT MUCH THANKS TO **Vyrian D** for pointing out my missing line-breaks. I went back and looked at the chapters and FUMED AT FF NET FOR FIVE STRAIGHT MINUTES. and proceeded to copy down all the chapters so I could add the line-breaks back in. B|| siiigh ff net.

So um, anyway. really, really, don't expect responses to reviews unless you're pointing out something important. I love reviews and I read every single one of them! truly! I even have a folder in my hotmail made specifically for holding all reviews ever!

On another note, I particularly love this chapter for some reason. Maybe because THE PLOT IS MOOOOVING! YEAH moving plotlines are the best. More plot next chapter. MORE PLOT yeeesssss. /clicks pen and starts writing.

**Warnings:** F-bombs here and there. Nothing too bad. Flying heads! Conflicting emotions! Huzzah!

**Disclaimer:** let's all own D Gray Man for one day. just one day. one hour? one minute? one.. second?

* * *

_**Under The Moonlight**_

* * *

Graceful.

That's the word Allen was looking for. He was graceful. Like a dancer. Always moving on a pre-set path at the same beat and rhythm.

A graceful dancer.

..It was kind of sad, actually.

* * *

"He's awfully fired up."

"Uh-huh." The red-haired Exorcist nodded absently, observing Kanda's fluid movements. Mowing down Akuma after Akuma, barely having any trouble with the Level 2s and just now learning how to deal with the 3s.

_Maybe I should help after all… wait—_

When did he have company?

"Um." Lavi blinked, turning to look at the brunette teenager next to him. "..Well."

He coughed. Allen offered a small smile.

"How's your eye?"

"Er." His hand immediately went to the bandaged socket. "..No hope. They took it out."

"Ah."

"What happened to yours?"

The line that Allen drew down his left cheek said more than enough.

"Tough luck. We match."

Allen laughed.

"I will got mine, though."

It was an awkward sort of conversation. They went back to watching Kanda send a few more Level 1s crashing to the ground. It was strange to just stand by and watch, contrary to what Lavi usually did in these kinds of situations. Despite the fact that, as a _bookman_, Lavi was entitled to just watching, he sometimes preferred to participate. Curiosity, and all that jazz.

This was not one of those times.

Was Allen going to jump in? No, it looked like he only came to watch, like Lavi. Though his hands did twitch occasionally, whenever Kanda suffered an especially bad blow to the head, and he sighed discreetly whenever Kanda cleaved an Akuma into quarters. He probably did want to help.

What was holding him back, then?

"So…" Lavi coughed again, more to get Allen's attention than anything. "..What're you doing here?"

The brunette said nothing at first, only clenching fist as another Level 3 made its appearance.

"You wanna help him?"

No reply. But Lavi swore he say the boy's jaw muscles tighten. He definitely did want to help in some way, to fight by Kanda's side. Lavi understood why Allen might hold back, though.

It was a scary sight.

Sure, Lavi liked to joke around, but he usually didn't think much about Kanda's tendencies to.. to kill so brutally. So what if Kanda liked to hack off all the limbs before killing the Akuma? He'd seen it happen on a few occasions. In the end, the job was finished, wasn't it? Yeah.

Yeah.

And it was an Akuma anyway. That made it okay.

…Right?

So Lavi would ignore the guts, the hearts, the brains, the mechanical bones and oily organs. His own victims were usually too smashed to a pulp to discern lung from liver, but Kanda's.

_Kanda's_.

…And how the hell can this kid watch so placidly? Allen looked almost _bored_. Bored! As if none of this was new to him.

..Well, it wasn't new to Lavi either, but. Still.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Lavi yelped, jumping back as Allen's left arm suddenly lit up and twisted over. However, instead of turning into a gun like Lavi had witnessed before, his fingers started expanding, lengthening, hardening into sharp nails. From an inch above his elbow, pale skin threaded in between strands of white from the claw, mixing and sinking into his arm, pulsating lightly.

Exchange of nutrients.

_Is it… It's alive?_

Razor sharp nails flexed, perched at the end of a white, flattened arm. It wasn't skin. It was some hard substance, almost like calcium, but too flexible. It reflected the light of the room, adding a green-ish hue to the glow.

Ethereal.

The gun had been the same way, shaped from an eerie sort of metal with that same hued glow. But back then, the gun…

…Lavi _swore_ it wasn't that high up Allen's arm at the time. Just a week ago, he swore it was only a few millimeters short of an inch above his elbow. Somehow, within the span of a little over seven days, it managed to.. crawl up..?

_..How..?_

"I'm not an Exorcist," Allen started slowly, curling his nails inward. "...I've never wanted to be one."

Lavi didn't see how that was relevant to the current matter, but he listened anyway. Allen didn't say anymore, though. He just stood there, staring at his palm—if it could even be called a palm to begin with..

..It looked more like a mouth, to be honest.

"I'm not an Exorcist," he repeated, covering his already covered eye with his other hand. "I have no obligation to destroy the Akuma."

His expression tilted, taking on a slightly pained tinge with a hue of melancholy. A splash of sorrow, regrets, and a drop of.. of..

"..I'm saving them."

..Of helplessness.

Save an Akuma? But killing is saving. The people don't have to suffer Akuma attacks any more if the Akuma are destroyed. Killing is saving, destroying is saving, we are _destroyers_.

Exorcists are not saviors. They do not save the Akuma.

They save the people.

"Even if it costs you your life?" Lavi muttered sardonically.

Even in the Order, where Exorcists basically signed a death warrant, where Finders agreed to put themselves in the face of danger, where nurses were exposed to numerous types of mutated diseases, even where they claimed to give their lives to science, to the people, to the _cause_—

Even here, there were those who really only wanted glory. And they were usually the ones who did not accept their fate, that they could be killed at any time. They were the ones who shied away from dangerous missions, the ones who always hid first, because they did not want to die, because they could not accept it.

"Even if you die trying?"

But Allen just smiled. He smiled, _smiled_, and fucking—_laughed_, like it was a joke. Like it was hilarious. Absurd, even. And it was weird, because Lavi had met only one other person who could face life like this, albeit in a different sense. Someone who could laugh at death and welcome everything that came his way with open arms, a deadly blade, and a sour scowl.

Kanda and his "I'll save the Akuma and the People" act when he first joined (he never really spoke about it, but Lavi could see it. Bookmen are observant, after all), and now Allen with his knowing, empty, sad smile.

His hand dropped from his face and pulled his shirt closer around him, shivering, clenching and unclenching the white arm's nails again.

"I already knew that would happen."

* * *

He was not a fool. He was not an optimist. He was not a pessimist. He did not see the silver lining, nor did he pay attention to the negatives. He was not lazy, he was not a hard worker, he was not haughty, but neither was he subservient.

Allen Walker merely took things as they came. Because he knew that he, of all people, had little to no power to change what was going to happen.

So when Allen learned, after Cross had helped with a series of tests on himself, that he only had less than 6 to 7 years left to live…

…He accepted it.

Because he knew the cause, he understood it, he knew that there was only one way around it. A way that he just couldn't accept.

Because, even though his creature, this parasite, _Light Matter_, even though his left arm was killing him from the inside out, he couldn't just throw it away. He couldn't toss it.

Even though it was killing him, he needed it.

He continued to believe that it would be of use someday, for something other than just destroying Akuma. He continued to believe, perhaps even foolishly, that it could be used to turn an Akuma back into a human, a _normal_ one. There had to be a way to reverse the effects of the Dark Matter's virus, the way it destroyed cells and changed them into biomechanical ones. There just had to be a way.

..And then Allen met Kanda. Kanda, who could heal. Kanda, who was unaffected by the virus, who was able to regenerate lost limbs, who was a bloody _arsehole_, who made Allen feel half relieved and half depressed whenever he destroyed an Akuma, and yet he was so, so… so _alluring_.

Allen didn't want to do it. He lo—_liked_ Kanda. Liked him. He didn't want to.. to use him. He had to, if he wanted to save the Akuma, but could his _like_ for this man overpower his want to save the Akuma?

..Could it possibly?

...

Well.

He'd figure that out later, when the time came, when he had Kanda on his side.

Kanda didn't say anything about not wanting to be dragged into _Allen's_ life, after all.

A shriek pierced the air, ending in a dull explosion. Usually an Akuma would pass away silently; once death arrived, the virus would continue destroying and decomposing the cells. Without a source of nourishment, the cells broke down and released oils and gasses. If ignited, the entire thing would blast itself to smithereens.

With most of the Order's weaponry, explosion wasn't common. Not unless there was flint attached, or if it just so happened to spit sparks or flames. Just like bombs sent out shrapnel, an Akuma flung its innards and parts in every direction like a spinning, broken piñata.

A deformed head flew in his direction—_sans _one eye, half a nose, an ear, part of its cheek, and perhaps ¾ of its hair-- landing a few feet away and rolling to a stop before decomposing completely into dust.

Allen really hated hearing those explosions. He hated seeing them even more. It always made him sad to see something like that happen. On the one hand, the person was no longer suffering. On the other, they had no more chances at life. No extra lives. No Phoenix Down. No revive.

It was game over.

No file saved.

Like they never existed.

Really. It was sad.

"Hey.. Allen, right?"

He looked up from the pile of dust and back at where the red-haired Exorcist was standing, one hand held over his head as though shading his eyes from the sun—or rather, from the moon.

"Yeah?"

"Can y'see what Yuu's doin'?"

Allen frowned, confused.

"…What?"

"Yuu. I can't see that well from this far away. What's he doin'?"

_You? His grammar's horrible. You, he, what? Who the hell is—_

And then it hit him.

He whirled back around and squinted, his one eye widening at what he could just barely make out. Frantically, he sprinted towards the landmark from where he and Lavi were watching near the outskirts. The silhouette that he could see from back there made his breath stop—but only for a second, because he might have interpreted that pose wrong, because he didn't really care all that much for Kanda, because--

He was kneeling near the center of Stonehenge, under the light of the bright full moon. His head was bowed, hair streaming down in one, black, velvet curtain that hid his face from view. His arms were in a raised position, holding the hilt of his sword, pointing it at himself, as though—

"_Kanda!!_"

--as though he meant to kill himself.

Kanda's hand twitched.

The blade plunged down, swiftly, accurately, piercing skin and exiting out the back. Again he couldn't breathe, couldn't keep his mind working, couldn't—couldn't _think at all_, because Kanda—Kanda had just—_just_—

Allen's eyebrow drew down, twisted, eye wide with fear. He hesitated, and took a step forward. Another step. Another.

And stopped, morbidly mesmerized by the drop of blood—_Kanda's blood_ –that fell from the sword's blade.

He only _liked_ Kanda, right? Right? So, why? Why did Allen feel like _he_ was the one being run through? Why did he feel so hurt, why did he feel so angry, so frustrated, so worried, so—

"…Kanda?"

This feeling, it made his words come out as a whisper, clutched at his chest and made it hard to draw breath, stuck in his throat and made it hard to swallow. Worry.

_Please don't tell me you killed yourself, Kanda. Please._

--So helpless.

…_Please_.

* * *

"All—hey, Allen!"

Lavi groaned, jogging slowly behind Allen. The Akuma dust was messing with his vision and he couldn't tell what was going on. He decided that something bad must've happened when he heard Allen yelling out Kanda's name.

The redhead hopped over a few decaying corpse, skirted around the back of a huge Sarsan stone, stepped onto the scene, and did exactly what Allen had done.

_Froze_.

There was his best friend, fellow exorcist, resident monster, kneeling on the ground, hands clenched around the handle of his own sword embedded in his stomach.

_Why, Yuu? Why did you do this?!_

But before the shock could wear off, before he could ask anything, before he could even register the fact that Allen was nowhere in sight, something hard and heavy collided with the side of his head. He fell.

Vision blurred and swimming, Lavi couldn't focus on anything, not even on Kanda's stained red form. He struggled to rise as a flare went off overhead, fired off from nearby. Very much nearby.

Form behind him, even.

When Lavi looked up, all he could see was the oversized glowing mouth of a living, breathing gun. Allen's auburn brown hair fluttered above it.

The white gauze on Allen's eye came loose and flew off.

Lavi promptly blacked out from inhaling too much of the toxic dust.


End file.
